lovememe Posted October 19, 2014 Share Posted October 19, 2014 ok first of all i'm 22 and i'm a virgin. i decided to go out with this guy called brown(28 yrs ) after 2 years of my friends convincing me to give it a try and his been telling my friends telling them how much he really likes me... then we started talking after my friends convinced me to give it a try. we talked for like two weeks just getting to know each other he seemed like a good guy at that time. sometimes i would ignore his calls just to see if he really likes me, he would call my sister or our mutual friend and ask of me then i taught maybe his for real. then after three weeks of chatting back and forth and him coming to my building to see me then he invited me to his house. The first day i visited him he was trying to touch me and i refused and told him to take me home. later he called to apologize saying he wasn't meaning to sleep with me he was just carried away. then i visited him the second time we both were laying on the bed and he showed me his penis and asked me to touch it i kinda hesitated but after persuasion i touched it but he didn't come cuz he said he didn't want to come. so the third time i visited him he was naked again i touched his penis after he asked me to and i gave him a hand-job and he placed his hand on my shirt and touched my boos and my clothes were on. after few days he stopped picking my calls or he wont call me. i kinda became worried. weeks went bye i heard from a mutual friend of ours that brown said i am "slow and dull" because i refuse to have sex or oral sex or even kissed him. i never had sex or let him perform oral sex on me or kiss him cause i wasn't really sure if he was for real real, cuz a lot of guys here are just dere to sleep with u and dump u. well after few weeks he contacted me and asked me to come to his birthday and i told him NO cuz i didnt want him to feel so special. well he got upset and cut the phone on me and i never called bck. after few weeks he keeps talking to mutual friends of ours asking about me and using words like how is my wife doing or tell her that i'm travelling for a while. well i recently saw him at a club he didnt know at first he was standing next to me and when he realized it was me he moved bck 2 steps and just stared at me for a minute and then walked away without saying even hi. Now i feel bad i shuldnt have seen him naked or give him a hand-job, we shuld have just be friends. Do u thinks its slutty to give him a hand-job? i truly regret it Share lovememe is invisible Link to post Share on other sites
hoping2heal Posted October 19, 2014 Share Posted October 19, 2014 You're young and inexperienced. You made the best decision you knew how to make in the moment. Was it a bad idea to give him a hand job? That is for you to decide. Not every choice any person ever makes results in a good outcome or the outcome they were expecting, yet every choice does lead to a valuable learning experience. The guy was into you for physical reasons. It seemed that right away he was trying to move the relationship to a physical one. He complained to friends that you were slow and dull aka not getting to the sex quickly enough to his liking. You were worried he was not "for real" and he wasn't. It was very disrespectful of him to be talking about you the way he had. You do not need a friend or a boyfriend who behaves that way. It probably seems almost like a cliche but stay away from the physical stuff until you build intimacy with a person. Yes, some people enjoy casual sex or physical relationships with the absence of intimacy but I get the impression that you're not one of them. A guy being very physically attracted and wanting to have sex with you is not the same thing as a guy who likes you as a person. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
AieshaR Posted October 19, 2014 Share Posted October 19, 2014 I'm so proud that you didn't sleep with him!!!! No, it's not "slutty". It sounds like you are regretting doing it, don't regret it! You're still a virgin and that's such a beautiful thing! It's so amazing that you have kept that so sacred! Don't regret anything with this guy! Remember you were still 'testing' him and he failed! That's good, now you know what you don't want in a guy and hopefully the next person that comes in your path will be more respecting this guy sounds a little forceful..don't ever be with someone that makes you feel uncomfortable! It's good you said no to not going to his party! Hats off to you girl!! You're still pure, that's so beautiful!! Smile and be happy you didn't go further Don't even worry about what he's been saying to mutuals, you are waaaaay better than that!! Good luck for your future xx 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author lovememe Posted October 20, 2014 Author Share Posted October 20, 2014 thank u soo much.. i feel alot better Link to post Share on other sites
xpaperxcutx Posted October 20, 2014 Share Posted October 20, 2014 You made the right decision of not sleeping with him. Just the fact that he decided to move so fast and had you perform sexual acts on him is a type of involuntary coercion. Take this as a lesson- your virginity is a important thing that you should save until you meet a guy who isn't coercing you to sleep with him so soon. Also do not be afraid to stand up for yourself and say no when you are uncomfortable from someone's sexual advances. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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