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Dumped and it hurts so bad


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I just don't know what to do anymore, I don't have will to do anything. I will try to be short - we are in our early 30's, were together for 4 years, 3 and half living with each other, trying hard with children for 3 years but no success, with 1 abortion last year. We supported each other and that has never been a problem. Everything was perfect, people said you are the perfect couple and this trully was a love of my life and also thought I was her's.

 

I have my own business and I work from home for one and a half years. We mutually agreed on this and have both known it will be hard for at least a year. It didn't turned out well and she wanted that I find a job, but I refused it, because I believed business will get better. Silent beginning of an end started in June this year, when we had a fight, but next day everything was usual and I didn't see it coming at all. I have also became frustrated a little bit, because I don't have any contacts with people in my business. That were all problems we had! She wanted me to get a job (we didn't have financial problems, because she has good income, my income is something but not what should be - I cannot live with it).

 

On September 1st she directly told me that she's not sure anymore if she wants to be in a relationship with me. We talked and solved just everything. I started to go out, started to train martial arts, looking for a job and so on... Things came back in an order, but on 24th September she dumped me with explanation that she doesn't have any feelings for me anymore and when will I move out. Of course I begged her and did everything I could to try it once again but she insisted.

 

I found out that from September 1st she was seeing someone, but he dumped her a week a go. Now she is begging him to start again, because I will soon leave and they can make it in more normal circumstances. I will move out in a week, have just found an appartment and also she just gave me the money for everything I had bought for a house (before own busines I had good job). Last month it was a struggle for both of us, I just don't know who I am anymore, we fight, she does not allow me to touch her, hug her, although we had on 22th September last incredible sex. I just don't understand it. So I am moving out in a week, the rent will be payed with the money I got from her and I hope to find a job soon. Yesterday I asked her for a last time (before I sign the contract for appartment) if she is sure that she wants me out. And she said 100%. Over the weekend she will help me pack the things. Today in the morning I said what is wrong with her and she said that she will stay single for some time, because has to figure things out. Probably the best thing for me would be NC and hope to get her back. What do you think?

 

We have two dogs and one is going with me. She said that she will visit me, because she would like to see a dog I will take. I asked her what will she do if certaing things breaks down (heating does it sometimes) and she said I will call you for a repair.

 

I just don't understand her anymore. She claims she has no feelings for me, she rejects me, dumped me, but on the other hand I think she does not know what to do. She knows we cannot be friends. Honestly I am dead man walking, I just can't do anything, think about anything and I am very scared how will I be on my own in an appartment. I have no job at the moment, no friends (with some we distanced, other are family men). What I have is only my dog and a sister who she supports me, but I have a feeling she has enough.

 

I just want to get that girl back. I know that you will say it will pass, you will get better, but I didn't want back any of my early relationship (2 girls). With this one it was something special, she is a keeper, but it's like she ran me over with a truck at the moment. Do I have any chance at all to fix this? I just can't take it anymore...

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You say you have no job? Okay, that's an excellent way to get yourself back on the wagon and kicking.

 

I appreciate that right now you are in pain, believe me I do understand. But to give up without a fight is not acceptable. The feeling of not getting out of bed is very overwhelming at times.. but YOU MUST.

 

Now is the time to realise this girl has gone for now. This is the chance you have been waiting for to re-invent yourself. Become stronger, smarter, fitter and sharper. Get a haircut, change your dress sense, rebuild your CV and get out there trying to find that job.

 

I appreciate it may not be easy to jump straight into a £50,000 role. But take this as part of the challenge, start from the bottom, gain your qualifications and your experience. There is a whole other world right outside your door in the form of work and believe me you want to open that door and dive in it. You will meet new people and have something to set your teeth into and occupy your mind. Take this as time to make yourself into a better person, NC straight away with this girl. Give her chance to adapt to the fact you are also no longer there. The more you stay around her the less she gets chance to acknowledge that fact.

 

Stay strong, tidy your apartment tonight with some music on, then cook yourself a dinner. Have a few beers with a good TV show and hey even ask your sister to come around and cook for her also..

 

This is time for you to be the best person you can possibly be.

 

Best wishes.

 

Mike

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She'll never forget you and think about you daily - so NC is the best in your situation.

 

After a while she will be the one to reach out to you... but if its to repair the heater or to see the other dog that is not an excuse to see her. Tell her to call a repair-man, as for the dog (you're unavailable).

 

SHE was the one to break it off with you, if she wants all the benefits of you (being a handy man, and someone there for her) she has to make some effort on her side and admit her mistake about ending the relationship.

 

I don't believe she had any feelings for the guy she was seeing, he was just "someone" to fill the void or share her complaints about. Especially since that guy ended the relationship with her.

 

Find a stable income, and maybe do your home-base business on the side. Go work out (keep up a good body), and learn some new skills while you wait to hear from her. See her when you feel confidence about yourself and you're still in love. :)

 

All in all, wait for her to reach out.

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Michael93 thank you very much for your kind words and your time.

 

I work from home and it's even tougher to live by, but yes looking for a job, at the moment I am waiting for an answer from one and I know that would save me. It's the international corporation, so I would have to work a lot + home job. But just don't know yet anything.

 

I have already worked a lot on myself lately, even started to run and set the goal to prepare for a half-marathon one year from now. Biggest problem was that I spend year and a half working at home and I was always home and she never missed me. You know ... always there, waiting for her like a dog. That was the major mistake and I think that killed our relationship. Maybe it would kill every relationship?

 

I am very surprised how people can change! She is another person and certainly not her. I don't know maybe her best girlfriends have so much influence on her, but that's not the woman I know. I could ask myself who is that stranger living with me for a month now. She wants to give the impression that she is self confident and determined about the decision, but that woman used to be just the opposite of what is now. When she will realize what she has done, I think she will regret it big time.

 

I wanna fight, but there are times when it feels like I got 5 KO in a row...

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I don't know I feel like that guy will give her another chance. After all that is not my thing anymore, but it hurts to feel it will happen that way.

 

I got the key from an appartment. It makes me happy because it is just what I've been looking for. Everything perfect. I got home really late, she made a dinner. Wtf? I asked her why and she said because you said couple days a go you want to eat fish. If she would decide, she would not prepare nothing. And she does not know why she listen to me. Over the weekend I am packing up all my stuff and will get out for good in couple of days. I feel a bit nervous about everything.

 

The weirdest thing is, that she is is sleeping next to me while I watch tv at the moment. Again she said, that is all because you want it that way. On the other hand, she is determined for certain things, like move out tomorrow if possible, sleep on the floor (I need to buy a bed). I don't want you here. With whom of us is something wrong here?

She is also helping me a lot looking for job just because she want me to be happy again. Does she feel guilty because of dumping me without a job or could be just anything else? I don't know trying to be strong, but I keep failing to see a picture without her. I hope it will only get better when I move out and not worse.

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Sorry for your pain. Just move on with your life. Your girl friend dumped you for another man and she was dumped by the new man because he needed only an exclusive relationship. To get him back, she have to throw you out of her house as a mark of exclusivity with the new man. But she still need you around to feel good about her self. She also want you to be her 'repair man' so she is being nice to you in order to have a 'peaceful break-up'. OP, MY advice to yo is to never allow your self to be used by any person and never used any other person in the name of love. A girl who cheated on you is not worth keeping. Your relationship with her is not worth fighting for. Move on with your life, get something doing that will earn you reasonable income so you can be financially independent. For your future relationship, Never depend on a woman for economic survival.

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Today was the Day and tomorrow will be the first day of rest of my life. I moved out and today (it's 0:00 am at the moment) it's going to be the first night alone with my dog in a new appartment. Many many boxes on the floor, so I have lot to do in upcoming days. I still need to move out some things, but we agreed, she won't be at home that time.

 

In last two days of my living there everything was very emotional from both sides. I had tryed to stay strong and I did it quite good! I didn't beg her, cryed or any other humiliating things... but she did. After a month we finally honestly discussed things and solved them. She confessed that she made a mistake, but because things went so far, it would be better if we are on our own for sometime to clear our heads and then we'll see if we can still be together. First she said, we will try again and when she realized what has she just said, she took it back and say that we'll see. After that she said that I cannot have hope, because she cannot ensure me this. All in all she does not know what to do. She still has strong feelings towards me as I noticed. We both agreed (it was her proposal) to go NC for sometime and then probably who knows what will happen. Now I need to stick with it. I know it will be ******* hard, but there is no other option...

 

Because I got many of the answers that were killing me I am very calm at the moment, but it could only be illusional, because I have better hope that we will still be together. Maybe I think that way because it's my first night alone, maybe not, but I am aware if I will think that way, she is not coming back... I need to move on probably.

 

I first need to clear my head, because It's a mess in it. All in all my work out schedule is full, I ordered some books which were recommended here and I hope they will help me better understand everything I have gone through so far. Already have arranged some coffee with one person I haven't seen for a long time, a beer with a friend who is always busy... I don't know how I will get myself through the weekends, because nobody have any time. Sometimes it's hard to be 32. I should have a family by now... don't know I am trying to be optimistic somehow.

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Well, how was your first night alone?

 

It depends on who you see things, in which perspective. For example, I'm sure you heard this before but, the Titanic disaster was in fact a miracle for all the crabs in the kitchen right?

 

You can do whatever you want now whenever you want it. Women came and go frend, unfortunately this one wasnt meant to be. Try to be strong and focused on other things those days, like drinking a couple of beers for instance.

 

Ohh how I miss my bachelor life:(

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Okay dude, what I need to tell you is going to sting. No way around it. So, listen up!

 

 

DUDE, SHE WAS CHEATING ON YOU!!!! The dude, ended it with her because you were still in the picture! He wanted a faithful girlfriend and she couldn't give him that if after their dates, he knew she was going home to you!

 

 

So, she had to get rid of you. Hell, she even FRONTED THE MONEY to have you gone. As soon as she dropped you off at the apartment, I bet you dollars to donuts that she was on the phone with this other dude. "Okay, just like I said! He's gone! Moved out! We're finished! Hell, you could even come over to my place right now if you want!"

 

 

A telling sign for me that she's more invested in this other dude than you is that SHE'S the one that suggested NC. The dumper! They usually don't want that! Unless, she's lying to you again about her being single for a while. I call BS on that. She wants NC because she's immediate going to try and be with this other dude and she wants no interference from you or you finding out her desire to be single was a lie.

 

 

Then, you might ask me, "well, why did she tell me that she could see us working things out in the future?" Because, she's setting you up to be the backup plan. If this other dude doesn't work out or it turns out that (even with you gone) he's still not interested in her, Hi Mr. Backup Plan!

 

 

So, what do you do now? It's time to get your revenge! And the best revenge you can get is to lead a damn good life. You said that you run a business. Well, apparently, that business sucks if you can't even afford a deposit on an apartment. I think it's time to close up shop. AND THERE IS NO SHAME IN THAT!! Many successful business men had to try several different time before they got it right. But, you're full time job right now is finding a job. Working 8 hours a day until you land a job. And the first job you're offered probably won't be the job you really want. Doesn't matter, you need to get the money coming in. Sometimes you have to take A job before you land THE job. Do exactly as Michael93 told you to do. Start making those positive changes in your life. Start making improvements to YOU. Right now, it's you against the world. So, time to start focusing on you and no one else. If you want some motivation, read Michael93's thread. He went from a dude that got dumped for someone else and being thickheaded about advice to a guy that made positive changes and excelled at his job and is now happy and traveling around the world! Give it a read.

 

 

If you're in NC, then you need to do a hard NC. She made the choice to have you out of her life, so you give her exactly that. BLOCK HER ON FACEBOOK!!! Don't answer her phonecalls, let them go to voicemail. Don't answer her texts. DO NOT call her or text her either. The thing is, she's going to get curious after a while and she will reach out to you. And I see it plain as day, it will be about something trivial you left as the apartment. She'll use that as an excuse to call you. DON'T BITE!!! She's baiting you into a conversation. The truth is, if it was of any value to you, you would have taken it with you.

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First night alone it has been kind an awkward. I have my dog with me and it's a lot easier to deal with the situation. The morning is tougher, when you see everyone going to work. For my business I just don't have a will or concentration to sit at home and work on it. It is also not worth it. I have 1-2 hours of work per day for it. Today I made 4 walks with a dog, because I needed to calm my nerves.

 

Yes, my primary goal is to find a job. My business sucks big time I agree, but I will probably keep it as a side business and nephew will be working beside his school. I will probably get a "job" in a new established company, but it will be more something for CV than serious income, because they are not in the position to hire and pay me real income. But at least I will socialize with the people and won't stay at home.

 

Chi townD you punched me right in the face :). I didn't want to believe what you wrote, but I know it's probably true. It's so hard to let go... Day 1 I've been successful in NC and also she. My fingers are itching to call or text, but no. Facebook is blocked, but I cannot delete phone number or mail, because I would know it in the middle of the night. Will try to stay strong and ignore her calls.

 

I know what she did, but I'm still blind at the moment. I read replies from all of you several times, just trying to keep my head clear. I am very grateful for your time. There are two options 1. she immediately ran to that guy or 2. he still doesn't want her, so she is still beging him and insisting to give it a go. With either option I am not OK.

 

What does this tell you, if anything... in the moment of weakness she yesterday made a confession, that she f***** it up real bad and does just not know how could all this happened. Although she didn't want to stop the moving and try from beginning. She said it just wouldn't work at this time, because things went to far and we both need to clear our heads.

 

You know what is interesting? I don't know maybe I am doing something wrong or is something wrong with me? A girlfriend before her of almost 5 years did similar thing, but I wasn't so devastated at all when she broke up with me. It wasn't such a big deal for me as now. We were in contacts constantly after the break up, but just as friends. Somwhere in that 3 months she started dating with someone else. It took me that 3 months to move on and to date my present ex girlfriend. When that girlfriend found out that I started dating this girl she went totally nuts and did everything she could to want her again and to start over with her. But it was too late... I moved on.

 

You know what is my real fear after end of this relationship? For the first time in my life I live all by myself and for the first time I don't have any real job with income for a living. All I need is job :).

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Let me be honest, there's nothing you could have done to stop this.

 

She was cheating on you. Point blank period. She probably gave all the excuses in the world to you: That you weren't making enough money, that you weren't affectionate, that your life wasn't going anywhere.

 

She told you EVERYTHING but the fact that there was another guy in the picture. My ex did the same thing. Outright lied about there being another guy as well. She wants you gone, dude.

 

First though, remember this. STOP KICKING YOURSELF...it's not your fault. Nothing could have stopped this.

 

Second, this is a great time for you to pursue your goals. It's gonna hurt, but the best way for you to do that is establish your independence. At least, if you get dumped again, you can sit at your place and say "Okay, whatever. NEXT!"

 

Best feeling in the world. Sorry dude, but get out and get that job. Work your way back up. Keep at it. I'm starting over in life myself.

 

Remember this very important fact: If you got her, you can get another one.

 

Life is a journey. The destination is death. What's beyond that, I don't know. What I do know is that you're going to go through a lot of bad dates, female regrets, and the like.

 

Time to toughen up, soldier...the battle is just beginning.

 

There's' more to life than women. For the most part, they will disappoint you, so don't put anyone on a pedestal, treat them equally.

 

If you strike out, good, learn and keep trying.

 

Fortune favors the bold, so go and grab fortune by the horns.

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End of day 2 on my own (it feels like it's 2 months):

For a good morning I got the bad news. I was rejected for a job in a final round. First I had to sit down, take a deep breath and then I wrote 2 more job applications. Hoping for the best.

 

While checking e-mail I got one from her. She broke the NC after 2 days. Asking me how I am, if I got the job and that it feels empty, lonely and boring without me and the dog (she has one, I have one) in her house, but eventually she will get used to it. It was very hard to not respond. Still thinking of responding on a mail.

 

Today I got couple of beers with a friend and ate something warm after 3 days, took a martial arts training (you won't believe how hard it is to work out if the thoughts are somewhere else).

 

Natsu21 this battle is the hardest one in my life. I am fighting although it feels like the enemy has cornered me. From time to time I would like to surrender and raise the white flag to all the things that are happening.

 

I found my motto again from the past: go big or go home. hmm will try and stick with it as I did in the past.

 

I am thinking of starting to write a blog about the adventures with my dog, how it's to live on my own with just a dog, etc... I know she would eventually find out about it. Would this be the problem?

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Please stick to NC!

 

Do not respond to her.

 

Pick yourself back up, get yourself that job, do your martial arts, make new friends, you will eventually meet a new girl and live a wonderful life... WITHOUT HER.

 

Make her realize what she threw away. Being mopey and sad and at her beck and call will not make her realize this.

 

Be strong my friend. You can do this!

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Day 3: she broke NC again. This time called me and I answered it. I know... I shouldn't, but couldn't help myself. We talked if I got that job and how I am. I said I'm doing fine. When I asked her how she is. She broke down and started to cry. She said it's not the same without me and it's so hard to deal with it.... she needs more time and space to think about everything. I said to her, that I won't wait for her, so better clear up her mind. She begged me to also think about everything we had... uff it's hard... at the moment I sit in the coffee bar and it's going to be weird saturday, just not the same anymore.

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Mr Teardrop,

I am sorry you are hurting like this but it does get better, believe me.

 

Please go NC again and stick to it.

 

but on 24th September she dumped me with explanation that she doesn't have any feelings for me anymore and when will I move out.

 

She did this ^^^ remember?

 

I found out that from September 1st she was seeing someone, but he dumped her a week a go

 

So now she comes back to you to use you as an emotional backstop? Don't allow it. Remember, if he hadn't dumped her she would still be with him. Don't be part of someone's back-up plan - you deserve better.

 

she needs more time and space to think about everything
.

 

Yeah right, :rolleyes: she needs you on the hook a bit longer while she sees if she can get the other guy back. Trust me, if they get back together you won't see her @*** for dust.

 

Concentrate on YOU. It will be strange for a while but it will get better. She's only delaying your healing, so let her go.

 

Good Luck and stay strong.

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She dumped you. Here is something I want you to realize, and it's true.

 

When a woman dumps you, or anyone, for that matter, it's their way of saying "I don't wanna be friends anymore."

 

They are choosing not to be your friend or anything. They choose to not have you. Anything they want, they can get it from the other person. Do things for you.

 

She is no longer your friend. She left you.

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Hey guys! Thank you for all the replys it really helps me to deal with the situation. Arieswoman and Natsu21 I agree with you, although I did something wrong today. There is no option that we would be friends. It's a big no go.

 

I think I will disappoint you with my reply today, big time! I am sorry.

 

Day 4: day 4? Come on, I thought it has been 4 months already. It started with a morning coffee from my last reply. I walked the dog, had to clean up the warehouse for my lousy business, went to buy grocery

 

- ok now listen, I mean read - I intentionaly went to a grocery store I have never gone yet and also haven't she. Btw. we live 20 miles apart. In that store we ran into each other. I was like no, it cannot be her... she invited me for a coffee and I accepted it. We talked for about 2 hours. She is devastated as I am (ok I know why...) and said that she feels like some other man is sitting in front of her, because I am so changed (positively) and that's why she is so confused. I have been working on myself (improving, changing certain things, etc...) for more than a month and a half although I suffer inside. Even if it's not normal, I said let's eat something and she agreed. Because I had a dog with me for a whole time, she said why don't we go to "our" place and cook something. We ate, talked, even watched tv and I almost slept there over night. Before I went home we said good night and we kissed. I didn't ask any questions when will we see each other again or anything... I think we won't. At least for some time.

 

I know all that happened because the other guy is not interested in her. I know I will suffer because of what I've done. Now I feel very calm, but the healing process is probably back on day 1. The suffering will start again tomorrow or day after. I am stupid, but couldn't help myself today...

 

btw. a coffee yesterday with someone got me a project with a 1 month deadline. I won't earn a fortune, because I am helping his start up, but I have my desk in an office (I instisted I don't want to work from home). Three more days at home and then finally something to do :). In mean time I hope I will find regular job.

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Day 7: Going NC again (day 1). As we hear or see each other too often, she becomes less emotional. She needs time and space all alone. There is nobody out there. Her emotions are still strong, but she haven't had the chance to miss me yet. She want to start missing me and to feel similar (when we will see again in the future) like she did when we had seen each other for the first time again four years a go.

tw. I was her first love and she was mine, about 14 years ago. We were young and I ended it after 4 months. We reconciled 10 years a go and now she dumped me. I need to let go and see how everything will work out... time will tell. It hurts so much, but I know this is the right thing to do.

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Start working on YOU!!!!!!!!! You said that she stated that she felt like she was sitting across from some other dude because of the changes you've made. I call BS on that. You can't make any true significant positive changes in your life in less than 96 hours.

 

 

So, what's happening here? She probably tried to get with the other dude and he shot her down. To him, she was a "hit it and quit it". She's finally realizing that. Now, she's coming to you for emotional support. You're filling that gap until something else comes along. And trust me, she's looking. And when she finds it, you're back in the gutter again.

 

 

Start working on you! Forget her. (easier said than done right?). But, you need to move on from there! Look, you got a new place to live and you've secured temporary work. That's a start, very small, but a start. Build from there! That's your foundation to work from! If this is temporary work, then try to network from it. Meet new contacts.

 

 

Don't worry about her, worry about you! Trust me, she's fine. If she wasn't she wouldn't have gotten rid of you like she did. She just never factored in the emotional need she was going to require. That's her bag.

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It's been a while since last post. 8 days since haven't seen her and 3rd day since haven't heard.

 

What can I say, I am total mess. We had some holidays and from friday everything was closed, people at home, couldn't speak with anyone and it's killing me. I am very afraid of December Holidays already. At the moment I'm sitting at the coffee bar and before that we took a 2 hour morning hike with the dog.

 

Yesterday evening I found myself walking 1 hour in the appartment up and down with the phone in my hand. From evening till now I can't get her out of my head. I even dreamed about her and then I woke up. Still thinking about her... usually we had wonderful Sunday mornings but now everything changed.

 

I am working on myself, at least I think so. Went running yesterday and I did 7 miles. I ran faster than ever, cleaned up an appartment little bit, but it doesn't get better. I even went in the city, wanted to drink a beer, but I changed my mind, because when I looked around nobody was alone. I didn't feel good and went home. Next weekend there is an event for a single people, something like quick dating or just meeting new people, new friends. I am thinking of going, because I will loose my mind at home.

 

I am changed, no BS, I started to make significant changes on me before we have broken up, but she started to notice it later. Don't know, my thinking about certain things has changed a lot,

 

That is why she is so confused, from the moment I moved out. She said you are not my backup and I want to miss you, because I haven't had a chance to miss you yet. After a week of moving out she still has our pictures and slept in a living room on the couch. She also wasn't hidding the phone from me. I could look everything if I wanted, when she wasn't there.

 

Last time when we talked, she out of the blue, I didn't mention it, said you see it's too soon to reconcile, because it maybe won't work out, because of me or because of you, or because of us. And she speak further, I was just listening...We even can't go on a date tomorrow, as a matter of fact I am not ready to go on a date with anyone. But she has a wish that we would go on a date after some time. I would like to know her thoughts in her head.

 

I thought it would get better for me, but in fact it gets worse each day. I want to work it out, but I make one step forward and 3 backward. I want to become myself again, full of self esteem, energic, smiling all the time (smile, what's that?), but I am just not able to do it. Now I am thinking wrong probably... I want to become all this, because she will be sorry for rest of her life to let go that kind of guy with whom she had best years of her life. I just don't know how anyone can give up if there were some problems in last months.

 

It's hard to give up and move on...

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I've been so ****ed up today. I just don't understand, half of the day and yesterday everything was fine and one moment I just got nervous, missed her, had to go out... and I'm still not ok. It's been raining for 2 days... so everything, even the weather, is ****ed.

 

I just can't understand my ex. If she sees me or hear me on the phone, she is on the edge and another word from me and she would start to cry. She said don't call me or text me, send me an e-mail because it's easier for me. I am not begging her, crying or anything, because on outside I am strong and self confident. Almost everyday I receive her e-mails (something with job offers) or if I text her or call her... she immidiately replys. It's like she is waiting by the phone to hear from me. On the other hand, she says that she still thinks that the break up wasn't mistake. My mistake is that she still hasn't got the chance to miss me yet. I've seen her on Monday and she is even more mess than I am. If I would start to ignore her, would she come to me?

 

For some time now I talk everyday with female friend from the past (we talk on the phone a lot and e-mail a lot, but convincing her to have a coffee with me is almost not possible, just in rare cases) and I have big support from her. Things get complicated, because I start to think on my ex, when she is not reachable, because that friend has special someone living with. It does feel better when someone is there for you.

 

I feel like everything going on around me is unreal, this new appartment, neighbours, living alone with my dog, waking up everyday alone, having dog walks alone... I just don't percieve it as reality. I feel like I'm dreaming and when I'll wake up everything will be fine again. Even my dog is sad... I just don't know when will I be able to move on.

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  • 2 weeks later...
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It's been a while and I really need your help! 1 month since moving out from my ex.

 

I am very deepresed about upcoming Holidays next month. I just don't know what I will do - Christmas, New Year - I can't bare with thinking that I will be all alone, with no people around (not my ex, but also all others). I met some friends, but everyone has families or partners, so I can't stay with them. Has anyone please any advise how to deal with it?

 

Yesterday after 14 days of nc we met up with an ex for a lunch (I was near her office on job interview). When she saw me, she almost ran 50 m to me with a big smile on her face. We talked about things, smiled, but when it came to topic of going to movies or smth. she said I don't want it at the moment. She needs more time and is still not convinced what is going to be with us. Couple of time her eyes started to fill with tears. I think she is a little better then last time, but still a mess... NC is ok, because I think she missed me like crazy. When we said goodbye it was very hard for her (she said goodbye 5 times, looked back,...).

 

She is under the influence of her best female friend, who always had messed up life. I think she does everything that friend says to her. They have been seeing each other for last 4 months and before that they haven't heard for 5 years. I think my ex wouldn't break up with me at all and she would run back to me if there wasn't this friend. It's no good.

 

I played it cool all the time, being strong, all suited up and very confident in myself. I miss her, but it does not hurt me as it did. I am more occupied with a job search (having some interviews, etc...).

 

I even had a chance to go on a date (still have :)), but that girl is just not my type at all and I would just hurt her. No date with her.

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