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Can anyone decipher this Tumblr post from my ex?


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"I haven't fallen out of love with you. I still am in love with you. I am just scared of letting you back in, and then getting hurt again. I was hurt too many times, and I'm just scared of risking it all over again. Which is why I was going to give you that chance to earn back my trust. But I feel like you were trying to say either I have to take you back right this minute, or we're nothing. My love for you has not died. But the fear I have is so strong right now. I need to get my mind right, if you're already over me by that point then I can't do anything about that. But as of right now, I don't want to act on anything, knowing how scared I am, because then I could possibly end up flaking on you because of the fear I have. I don't want to do that to you. I was willing to let you prove to me that I can trust you again, and possibly take away that fear I have. But I can't act on the current feelings I have and just take you back right now, because it wouldn't be completely real."

 

There's a back story to this, so ask whatever you need to ask. And it's recent.

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No need to decipher.

 

It is called a breadcrumb to pull heartstrings. Block and go No Contact.

 

Don't buy into the games that are being played...

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No need to decipher.

 

It is called a breadcrumb to pull heartstrings. Block and go No Contact.

 

Don't buy into the games that are being played...

 

Damn.....is this your interpretation, or is it just the way it is? You didn't even hear the back story.

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Damn.....is this your interpretation, or is it just the way it is? You didn't even hear the back story.

 

Unfortunately, back story means nothing in these situations.

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"I haven't fallen out of love with you. I still am in love with you. I am just scared of letting you back in, and then getting hurt again. I was hurt too many times, and I'm just scared of risking it all over again. Which is why I was going to give you that chance to earn back my trust. But I feel like you were trying to say either I have to take you back right this minute, or we're nothing. My love for you has not died. But the fear I have is so strong right now. I need to get my mind right, if you're already over me by that point then I can't do anything about that. But as of right now, I don't want to act on anything, knowing how scared I am, because then I could possibly end up flaking on you because of the fear I have. I don't want to do that to you. I was willing to let you prove to me that I can trust you again, and possibly take away that fear I have. But I can't act on the current feelings I have and just take you back right now, because it wouldn't be completely real."

 

There's a back story to this, so ask whatever you need to ask. And it's recent.

I'm so good at decrypting this crap by now I wish I was as good doing my java homework.

this is nothing..she has doubts or she is scared cause she doesn't have a backup to replace you yet. She is being selfish and is all over the place. She acts as she is worried about you by saying "she doesn't want to do that to you" as in hurting you but yet she does just that and puts herself first and doesn't take your feelings in consideration. She is saying that to make herself feel better

The part where she says " if you have moved on..etc etc" clearly shows that she doesn't want you to move on before she does because again she is playing games of not being sure whether she wants to be with you. Don't be a fool and think this is a positive thing. She is looking for a comment from you to shown that you still have feelings for her and dragging for her still. This is what she wants to make herself feel better for couple more weeks then the process repeats itself.

Also, there is no such thing as I haven't fallen out of love and i still want to be with you ..but then you take the highway. Keep in mind actions speak louder than words ...and just like so, remind yourself that "talk Is cheap".

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I'm so good at decrypting this crap by now I wish I was as good doing my java homework.

this is nothing..she has doubts or she is scared cause she doesn't have a backup to replace you yet. She is being selfish and is all over the place. She acts as she is worried about you by saying "she doesn't want to do that to you" as in hurting you but yet she does just that and puts herself first and doesn't take your feelings in consideration. She is saying that to make herself feel better

The part where she says " if you have moved on..etc etc" clearly shows that she doesn't want you to move on before she does because again she is playing games of not being sure whether she wants to be with you. Don't be a fool and think this is a positive thing. She is looking for a comment from you to shown that you still have feelings for her and dragging for her still. This is what she wants to make herself feel better for couple more weeks then the process repeats itself.

Also, there is no such thing as I haven't fallen out of love and i still want to be with you ..but then you take the highway. Keep in mind actions speak louder than words ...and just like so, remind yourself that "talk Is cheap".

 

Dude, EXACTLY what I needed to hear. And just so you guys know. She broke NC last night, I bent because I was being "nice" (OK, kind of fishing for a second chance). We talk, she's having family issues, and she has no one else to turn to. I'm legit cool and calm on the phone, and console her in a friend type of way. I send her a text saying, "smile for me this week." She replies back a bunch of stuff, suicidal, best friends not there for her, etc. I say hang in there, then I say, "I can't have contact anymore. This is too hard for my healing if we're not in a relationship. I can't be your friend." She says sorry, and she won't do it again.

 

I go on this one relathionship site (popular one, you probably know it), and some girl tells me to call, and talk about the problems. It actually works. It's like the most hesitant second chance I've ever gotten from my ex. She's given me plenty of second chances before, but this one just felt like a string me along type.

 

Give her a good morning call, everything's cool. I panic, and say, "what exactly is this? It feels like you want me to prove myself, but it also feels like a string along." She's quiet, and cries (like every damn time I bring up ANYTHING about us, and how I can't be friends, and can't get strung along as a friend). It ends up being cryptic again. I let it go. I send her a text, and she sends me a bunch of stuff about her job. It seems cool again. She says you'll do awesome in the job interview.

 

I'm done with the job interview, and all I can think about is maybe she's putting me in the friend zone, but on the sneak tip. I call her, and tell her everything that's on my mind, and for her to understand what my position is. I tell her, love doesn't have conditions, and it's not about proving anything. I tell her we have to do NC, because if we're not in a relationship, then I can't be friends. She's crying at this point, and being dead silent. I say NC anymore, and goodbye. She finally says goodbye.

 

Every time I ask her about gimme a second chance, she says I don't know, I'm scared of getting my heart broken again. I tell her the same thing. I'm scared of her breaking my heart, and maybe ignoring me out of the blue one day. blah blah blah. That's the jist of it.

 

She finally posts that just now, and I was mind F'd, and ALMOST called her. Thanks for the reply. I needed this! Mind you, all this went down today.

 

Basically, this is a mind ****? And her having me gain her trust again was a bread crumb, or maybe I panicked, and I couldn't deal with being clingy with her, and obsessing right now, because I'm too thirsty to find out if this is friend zone or actually building a new relationship. Mind you, the reason why we always went on breaks was because I wasn't clingy at all, and this situation made me, so I got scared, and didn't want to be that guy with her. Pretty much the basis for why I said NC, and can't do this right now.

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Unfortunately, back story means nothing in these situations.

 

Why are ex GF's like this? Are they all like this? I've never had this problem before. It's always been a clean break. WTF!!! She's always the one to break NC.

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Why are ex GF's like this? Are they all like this? I've never had this problem before. It's always been a clean break. WTF!!! She's always the one to break NC.

 

I hate when people say that, are all girls alike? No. There will never be a definite relationship/break up. Every situation is different and can go a million different directions. Best solution? Stop questioning and go on with your day.

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I hate when people say that, are all girls alike? No. There will never be a definite relationship/break up. Every situation is different and can go a million different directions. Best solution? Stop questioning and go on with your day.

 

I think too damn much. You're right. Just gotta stomp on brad crumbs, and get my mojo back. I had it this week, then she texts, and ruins it.

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SoThatHappened

Wow, I'm sorry but there's some ignorance going on here.

 

Yeah, a back story would be nice. You sort of gave one with your last post, and I'm a little on her side, man.

 

You're "in NC" but calling her?

 

She poured her heart out telling you she's scared to get hurt again. She even mentioned you hurt her too many times.

 

I think a back-story, a TRUE ONE, is definitely warranted.

 

Man, sometimes people on here are so eager to jump on the bandwagon of the poster, even if he or she might be the one who's the heartbreaker.

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I think too damn much. You're right. Just gotta stomp on brad crumbs, and get my mojo back. I had it this week, then she texts, and ruins it.

 

I think too much too, that was my downfall post-BU. I went over every memory, every word, every silence over and over again to try and understand, but the truth is I will never understand. I just had to get to a point where I'm ok not understanding it.

 

Same with you.

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Wow, I'm sorry but there's some ignorance going on here.

 

Yeah, a back story would be nice. You sort of gave one with your last post, and I'm a little on her side, man.

 

You're "in NC" but calling her?

 

She poured her heart out telling you she's scared to get hurt again. She even mentioned you hurt her too many times.

 

I think a back-story, a TRUE ONE, is definitely warranted.

 

Man, sometimes people on here are so eager to jump on the bandwagon of the poster, even if he or she might be the one who's the heartbreaker.

 

A back story won't change anything. It's up to his ex to decide what she wants to do, get back together or not.

 

I'm not going to sit here and tell him everything is going to turn out great, they'll get back together and live happily ever after because I have no way of knowing. Back story or not.

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SoThatHappened
A back story won't change anything. It's up to his ex to decide what she wants to do, get back together or not.

The back story may have involved him treating her like crap, breaking her heart over and over. That's what it sounds like from her tumblr post.

 

Really? Are you that quick to jump to conclusions?

 

From the many times he called her, texted her, told her he was going NC, then contacted her again... I'm not going to formulate an opinion and tell him he's right without some more of the real story.

 

And at this point, I'm leaning toward being on her side a little bit based on the information that has been posted so far.

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Why are ex GF's like this? Are they all like this? I've never had this problem before. It's always been a clean break. WTF!!! She's always the one to break NC.

 

You know what? From your original post, there was no way to tell if the Tumblr post was from a girl or guy so it has nothing to do with ex GF's. I didn't know if you were a guy or a girl so my first response was gender-generic.

 

It is what people do who are struggling to end relationships. And it is why many of us who are have been around here a while didn't need to hear the backstory; it is irrelevant.

 

You said she broke NC which means you allowed it. BLOCK HER.

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The back story may have involved him treating her like crap, breaking her heart over and over. That's what it sounds like from her tumblr post.

 

Really? Are you that quick to jump to conclusions?

 

From the many times he called her, texted her, told her he was going NC, then contacted her again... I'm not going to formulate an opinion and tell him he's right without some more of the real story.

 

And at this point, I'm leaning toward being on her side a little bit based on the information that has been posted so far.

 

I'm on no one's side. It is just a bread crumb. If it wasn't, she would have called/texted and had a proper conversation with him. Anytime you have to "decipher" what an ex has said, it's a bread crumb.

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Wow, I'm sorry but there's some ignorance going on here.

 

Yeah, a back story would be nice. You sort of gave one with your last post, and I'm a little on her side, man.

 

You're "in NC" but calling her?

 

She poured her heart out telling you she's scared to get hurt again. She even mentioned you hurt her too many times.

 

I think a back-story, a TRUE ONE, is definitely warranted.

 

Man, sometimes people on here are so eager to jump on the bandwagon of the poster, even if he or she might be the one who's the heartbreaker.

 

I didn't call her. She keeps texting, and doing the one dial, and hang up thing, so I see her name on my phone. I called after 5 days of NC, because I was trying to be nice, because she was in a bad place with her family. I quickly realized where that takes me, and why I shouldn't do that. I'm literally on the phone with someone, and I'll tell you the back story tomorrow.

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The back story may have involved him treating her like crap, breaking her heart over and over. That's what it sounds like from her tumblr post.

 

Really? Are you that quick to jump to conclusions?

 

From the many times he called her, texted her, told her he was going NC, then contacted her again... I'm not going to formulate an opinion and tell him he's right without some more of the real story.

 

And at this point, I'm leaning toward being on her side a little bit based on the information that has been posted so far.

 

I didn't call her many times. That was before. During the "break" phase when I didn't know where we were. During the post breakup, I've been good with NC. She's the one that bends every few days.

 

Again, the back story is LONG. I'll spill the beans tomorrow.

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I'm on no one's side. It is just a bread crumb. If it wasn't, she would have called/texted and had a proper conversation with him. Anytime you have to "decipher" what an ex has said, it's a bread crumb.

 

True true true. Even when I try and talk to her with everything out in the open it's nothing but crying, and no words or replies. It's seriously annoying.

 

That's why my gut ALWAYS tells me it's stringing along, and bread crumbs.

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You know what? From your original post, there was no way to tell if the Tumblr post was from a girl or guy so it has nothing to do with ex GF's. I didn't know if you were a guy or a girl so my first response was gender-generic.

 

It is what people do who are struggling to end relationships. And it is why many of us who are have been around here a while didn't need to hear the backstory; it is irrelevant.

 

You said she broke NC which means you allowed it. BLOCK HER.

 

That's what I'm doing right now, and I'm sticking to it.

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SoThatHappened

HER WORDS:

 

I am just scared of letting you back in, and then getting hurt again.

 

I was hurt too many times, and I'm just scared of risking it all over again. Which is why I was going to give you that chance to earn back my trust.
But as of right now, I don't want to act on anything, knowing how scared I am, because then I could possibly end up flaking on you because of the fear I have. I don't want to do that to you.
I was willing to let you prove to me that I can trust you again,
Sounds like a girl who's had her heart ripped out a few times, not a girl who's dishing out breadcrumbs.

 

She broke NC last night, I bent because I was being "nice" (OK, kind of fishing for a second chance).

 

I send her a text saying, "smile for me this week."
I go on this one relathionship site (popular one, you probably know it), and some girl tells me to call, and talk about the problems. It actually works. It's like the most hesitant second chance I've ever gotten from my ex. She's given me plenty of second chances before,
Give her a good morning call,
I send her a text, and she sends me a bunch of stuff about her job. It seems cool again. She says you'll do awesome in the job interview.
I'm done with the job interview, and all I can think about is maybe she's putting me in the friend zone, but on the sneak tip. I call her, and tell her everything that's on my mind, and for her to understand what my position is.
You didn't call or contact her many times, huh? This single post refutes what you just said. You're lying, being manipulative, and messing with this girl's heart.

 

Leave her alone.

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You didn't call or contact her many times, huh? This single post refutes what you just said. You're lying, being manipulative, and messing with this girl's heart.

 

Leave her alone.

 

You have this TOTALLY twisted.

 

She dumped me. I did the beg back thing. She said no more chances. I say OK, we can't be friends, because I love you too much to just be your friend. She's the one that wanted to be friends RIGHT AFTER the break up, and still want us in each others lives (I get that, but wait).

 

I go NC, and tell her I have to. She contacts me every few days, even though I say the emotions keep getting brought back up, and it's SO HARD to move on while seeing her text, and call. Every time she does, it's an OBVIOUS bread crumb. I fall for it, and then I regret it, because I can't handle it.

 

This time she texts, and it's about some serious stuff. She doesn't even tell me what actually happened!!! I'm literally on the phone consoling her, and telling her she's super woman, basically. We end it off. I text RIGHT AFTER we talk, and tell her to smile for me this weekend. She goes on, and on about stuff, and I start to really get the emotions back. I felt calm at first, but realize I can't handle it. I tell her NC.

 

OK, then I text her to say let's talk about our mistakes. She calls me, and we talk. I basically ask for a second chance, and I'm legit changing, and changed. I really have. I'm not in this to take her for granted anymore. It's weird, it's not a clear answer, but it's a somewhat yes. She's always so quiet, and no talkative on the phone during these situations. And I'm gentle, soothing, and calm with her.

 

I ask if I can still call her like before, and text her. She says yes. I call her good morning the next day. Everything goes smoothly. I then ask her what this really is. I get paranoid, and get a sneaking suspicion that it's a sneaky way of getting me into a friend zone situation. Mind you, she only texts when she's very lonely, and missing me. It could easily be a situation where she wants me to be there when she's lonely, but then what if she's not lonely anymore?

 

That's why I think about it all day, and that's another reason why I have to give her the talk about NC, and why I NEED IT for my sanity. I'm not playing games with her. I can't do the whole gaining her trust back thing, if every time I ask obvious questions like, can we be back together, her answer, "I don't know." "I'm scared". I get what you're thinking. She's scared, and she doesn't know, but think about it from my shoes! That usually means she already knows we're not getting back, and it's not really love, because if it was, we'd be back, and we'd be working on things. I don't want to put my soul, and 110% effort into her, if she doesn't even know what she wants, and in the end she might pull a fast one on me, and leave me emotionally crippled for a LONG TIME.

 

Do you understand why I can't handle that, and can't put my heart on the line like that? And I don't bother her. I do NC. She relents, and yes, I break as well, by calling or texting, but the first time she did it, it was OBVIOUSLY for a reaction, and for validation that I still loved her. You really don't know the whole story. And even this time, it seemed like the same thing. I thought I was being nice by calling her back, and consoling her.

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SoThatHappened
You have this TOTALLY twisted.

I doubt it.

 

She dumped me.

Why? And tell the truth.

 

OK, then I text her to say let's talk about our mistakes.

What mistakes?

 

I basically ask for a second chance, and I'm legit changing, and changed. I really have. I'm not in this to take her for granted anymore.

Ahhh... you're shedding so much more light on this!

 

Why do YOU need a second chance?

 

You were taking her for granted, huh? But she's the evil one? Right...

 

I'm not playing games with her.

Oh, is that what all of your NC is about? Not playing games? Dude, you're not even close to being in NC! NC has to last more than a few hours before you text or call her.

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aussietigerwolf
Why are ex GF's like this? Are they all like this? I've never had this problem before. It's always been a clean break. WTF!!! She's always the one to break NC.

 

funny... my ex bf's are like this so should I complain that "why are ex bf's like this?"

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I doubt it.

 

 

Why? And tell the truth.

 

Taking her for granted, and arguing from both sides. Also, seemed like she connected with a co worker towards the end of the relationship. Saw her wall posts with him, and it's like WOW. Definite chemistry there. When she last called, she said she has no one else to turn to. It feels like the last break up was because she was connecting with her co worker, and she would have felt guilty if she was with me, and digging him. That's kind of the vibe I got. She said there's absolutely nothing there, and I was blowing it out of proportion, and that she has no interest in him. I read the first posts that had me jealous, and realized I was blowing it out of proportion, but then later on the night she actually told me it's over, I saw them posting back and forth on her wall on FB, and it was just way too obvious that they were digging each other. We had our goodbye call that night, and both sides cried. She told me the last straw was me saying peace out, and hanging up instead of goodbye I love you, and hanging up in the end of the relationship, because I was getting tired of her wanting to talk on the phone for hours at night, and she wasn't contributing anything. I had to talk the whole time. I got annoyed at that, and started doing that, and started saying goodnight through text, instead of calling and talking for a bit.

 

 

What mistakes?

 

Mutual break up the first time, then took her back, and broke up with her again. Told her I want her back, and we've been "good" since then.

 

Ahhh... you're shedding so much more light on this!

 

Why do YOU need a second chance?

 

You were taking her for granted, huh? But she's the evil one? Right...

 

No one called her evil. She's obviously throwing bread crumbs. If I'm so bad, then leave me alone, and let me heal, and move on. Stop throwing me bread crumbs, and contacting me.

 

 

Oh, is that what all of your NC is about? Not playing games? Dude, you're not even close to being in NC! NC has to last more than a few hours before you text or call her.

 

What are you talking about? It was 5 days NC. She contacted me. I contacted her. NC was broken by that point. What does it matter when I text or call at that point? It was already broken at that point, and that would have been the only time to call and text.

 

When I say I'm not playing games with her, I mean, I ask her straight up, relationship or NC, so we can both heal, and move on. She's the one that knows I'm 100% in it, and want to make it work. She's also the one that is being indecisive, and wants to keep me as a friend, and take away the fear, and gain her trust back. Love isn't about one side. She wasn't perfect either. I completely understand that she wants me to prove myself, but I'm not gonna put 110% effort into something, and not know where her heart truly is, and where it already is. What if I'm proving myself this whole time, and I'm being nothing but clingy, and she ignores me out of the blue, or meets someone else, and says she can't talk to me anymore. No way that's happening. And this isn't an ego thing. It's a, I don't want an even worse heart ache feeling for even longer.

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Man, unfortunately no matter the background and the entire situation, you gotta accept its over. She has to come to the realization that she lost something great and the only way you can do that is by backing off and not responding to her anymore.

 

Every time you respond to her, she feels better about herself and the situation between you two. You shouldn't be helping her feel good about how she hurt you man - all you can do is move forward and avoid her. I suggest you set some milestone goals of NC...start for 30 days, then 60 days and then 90 days. Even though its hard to do it, challenge yourself to make it to that point.

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