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Consolidated discussion: The No Contact Guide and No Contact process and experience


Breaks and Breaking Up It happens to most everyone at some point in life! Share your experiences!

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Old 29th May 2014, 10:41 PM   #16
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After nc for a while this biotch messages my friend asks him.if I was ok. She left and she was afraid Id kill myself. Last 2 weeks she would text just a hi at 4am and added me on google+ at 6am. Last week she said hi Mon. Tuesday And tried addin me on fb at 2 am afte r she blocked me. Then.she contacted my fnd askin if I was ok...she was affraid I'd kill myself. Why? She never admits she misses me. Obviously the late night's she texted me but no.. she always has her pride win And put me down.
But I'm still gonna.ignore her. Hope I can.het some good advice from here. Cuz I do want her back.
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Old 30th May 2014, 9:17 PM   #17
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I was told this "I'm really sorry for what I did. I don't know why I did it, but all I know, is that it was the most stupid thing I've ever done. I want to try again, and will do whatever it takes to make it up to you, prove I'm deadly serious, and regain your trust. Please, can you find it in your heart to try again?"

and then the next day she was like never mind.
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Old 5th June 2014, 11:50 PM   #18
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Has anyone ever considered that everyone preaches NC from experience, but almost no one has been able to pull it off from the start of the break up?

Don't you think that those first days/weeks/months of pleading/trying/staying in contact are actually just part of the human process of breaking up?

If we didn't at least try one time wouldn't the regret eat as us more than the fact that we sacrificed our dignity on an occasion or two?

Isn't it better to look back and know that we put all our cards on the table than wondering what if I had just apologized/explained/tried one more time?

Hindsight is 20/20. Just food for thought.
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Old 8th June 2014, 9:41 AM   #19
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should i say this and go nc or just go nc?

im done playing your games, and gettin disrespected by you and me lettin you walk all over me with all your mistakes and how you would talk about other guys in front of me.. for over a year i put up with it but no more.

congrats on losing the best thing that happened to you
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Old 8th June 2014, 4:47 PM   #20
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I wish I would have seen this list about four months ago. In my break-up I have basically done the opposite of just about everything that's on this list. I did and still do want to remain friends but ultimately it's only hurting the both of us I think.

Last edited by Madtraveler; 8th June 2014 at 7:41 PM..
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Old 9th June 2014, 4:16 PM   #21
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Originally Posted by FredJones80 View Post
Yeah, I was never a father replacement because the kids had their dad, but you have to become something to them. Its just a impossibility to think otherwise.

My ex was pretty good though, she made it clear, you accept me, you accept my kids. I wasn't necessarily something I was overjoyed with but to be with the woman I loved I had to accept that.

Kids "get in the way" a lot of the time, when making plans, when plans go wrong, you aren't free to just do what you want all the time, if you don't accept that then how can a relationship work? I'm sure this new guy will get bored when their plans are scuppered or their weekends.

Lets hope anyway

I agree with the kids and father like person.

My ex has a 10 yr old son and I have two of my own. His dad is around but mostly just wants time with them when their playing travel hockey.

I spent tons of time teaching this boy many new things in life and just being there for him.

Last thing I taught him was the last day I saw my ex about a month ago.

He was so pumped to learn to throw a curve ball.

So I know I helped give him some memories! My ex still wont contact me back to get the engagement ring, off joint accounts, and get my stuff back.

I have been respectful of her wishes to give her space, but I am also letting her go. She now wont do the same with me as it seems.

Who knows man, but I absolutely agree you must assume some sort of a father figure, but you are never the one who does discipline, mom is and you help reenforce it.

That's my two cents
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Old 12th June 2014, 9:19 AM   #22
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I wanted to say thanks for this! I broke NC twice since we broke up a week and a half ago. The last time I contacted him was about 4 days ago, I will go strong with the NC this time around.
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Old 13th June 2014, 12:30 AM   #23
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Still stinging after being lied to and manipulated, but have been sticking with LC for a week and NC for only a couple days. She keeps texting and even sent an email. I know I'm going to hear from her again (just how she works), and I want a little revenge. She really screwed me over.

So, would responding to a breadcrumb text or email (from her asking how I'm doing and apologizing) with the statement below be wise?:

"I'm doing better than I have in years. Please don't contact me anymore."

She hurt me when I gave everything. I've taken the complete high road with her, but want to let her have it bad. Maybe it's just the angry phase on my end. I don't want to hurt her or get back, but just want her to regret it bad.

I know... I know... no contact. I blocked her number and don't have social media accounts, but she still sneaks emails and texts in.

Ugh I just don't want to care but want her to hurt as bad as I did...
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Old 13th June 2014, 6:26 AM   #24
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Awesome thread, although its Friday night and I darn messaged her after a bit over a week of resisting no contact, no response and feeling ****ty about myself
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Old 13th June 2014, 7:30 AM   #25
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Originally Posted by Familia View Post
Awesome thread, although its Friday night and I darn messaged her after a bit over a week of resisting no contact, no response and feeling ****ty about myself
You messaged her after reading this thread ? Why ?
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Old 13th June 2014, 8:56 AM   #26
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I saw this afterwards and was wishing it was before, makes so much sense

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You messaged her after reading this thread ? Why ?
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Old 15th June 2014, 9:04 AM   #27
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This is very helpful. I signed up today to find a place to anonymously vent and read stories similar to mine. The NC guide is something I'll read every morning. I'm at ten days now—next milestone is 30.

Have a nice day, y'all.
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Old 25th June 2014, 5:11 PM   #28
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So my break is up is all my own fault and reading the 180 apology was so truthful in my case. I really did make a stupid mistake.

I have been NC for 10 days and am thinking of using the apology in a few months. I have been blocked on Twitter and WhatsApp.

I don't know if I should make contact in 4 months, or use the apology. What do you think?
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Old 25th June 2014, 10:48 PM   #29
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Originally Posted by killerheels View Post
So my break is up is all my own fault and reading the 180 apology was so truthful in my case. I really did make a stupid mistake.

I have been NC for 10 days and am thinking of using the apology in a few months. I have been blocked on Twitter and WhatsApp.

I don't know if I should make contact in 4 months, or use the apology. What do you think?
Don't make contact at all. Keep moving forward.

That is all.
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Old 25th June 2014, 11:53 PM   #30
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Quote:
Originally Posted by killerheels View Post
So my break is up is all my own fault and reading the 180 apology was so truthful in my case. I really did make a stupid mistake.

I have been NC for 10 days and am thinking of using the apology in a few months. I have been blocked on Twitter and WhatsApp.

I don't know if I should make contact in 4 months, or use the apology. What do you think?
I'm fairly certain what Tara means by 180-apology is a complete turn-around given by your ex, not you. So to answer your question as Smarty Pants has stated, no contact at all. Neither of those are choices you should make.
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