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I lost him, i cant handle it


feelingnohope86

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feelingnohope86

I will try and keep this short,

I started dating a new guy and everything was amazing.

I have to add that within the first couple of weeks this guy did bail on plans twice without a call or text until much later after the fact both nights with legitmate but not so legimate excuses as to not even call, but I gave him the benefit of the doubt and everything was amazing he had apologized and did make up for it.

 

A couple things happened that are not so important to state but he started distancing himself from me a little bit we were still talking everyday and he would call and text me still, this guy was very attentive, successful affectionate and honestly everything that I was looking for in a man and he was very respectful. He owns his own business and works a lot, he came into a very busy week but we hung out that weekend and I told him that I wanted to wait to sleep with him, I had relationships in the past where sleeping with someone too soon ended things very abruptly and I told him I did not want that to happen with him.

 

He was fine with it kissed me a said everything was okay basically and not to worry. I left and everything was normal he kissed me said he would see me soon and to message him later that day. Well everything changed after that I didn't hear from him for the rest I tried to text and call him like he told me to and i didn't get a reply which was extremely not normal for him. I called him the next morning and he asked to hang out that night but it didn't happen because he was working nights and long hours for the rest of the week...well obviously all of my insecurities kicked in and I panicked and I guess I didn't push a little that week even knowing that he was really busy with work and the last phone call that I made to him apparently pushed him over the edge.

 

I asked if I could see him if he wasn't working and I guess I know I was being very needy and asked him a couple times, he said he would like that and would call me back, I didn't hear from him so my brother was wanting to make plans for dinner so I sent him a text asking him if he wanted to do dinner or do something else. and I never heard from him again?!?!?!?!?! that was 2 weeks ago....I am so distraught and there are many things that I would change if I could go back I cant get rid of the thought that if I just left him alone and gave him the space he was obviously looking for them he would still be there, the relationship was only a month long but I never felt this way about anyone.

 

I don't think my heart has ever hurt this much, I clearly pushed him away from bugging him too much and now I do not know what to do? Please don't criticize me I have heard it all I guess I just needed to say it to someone different, it is killing me that I could have lost the most amazing man that I have ever met. I honestly cant get over it and I have never felt so hopeless. People tell me to learn and move on but I find it impossible, its all my fault and I need him back. :(

Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
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You are not getting him back. Accept that fact because it will propel you forward & help you heal.

 

You said you wanted to sleep with him but that you didn't want the relationship to end abruptly because you had sex too soon. I can't tell if you had sex with him or not.

 

Either way something about that conversation spooked him. Instead of addressing the issue, he just disappeared. If he's not enough of a grown man to talk to you about whatever caused him to bolt, what is it that you want back? He's not really the quality person you thought he was.

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I will be blunt, sorry.

 

The neediness radar kicked in, and you were a great big blip on it.

 

Then he bailed.

 

Then you proved to him he was right.

 

If I were you, I'd try to learn something about myself to avoid these kinds of things in the future. You should take the time to do some navel-gazing, to be introspective. It might do you a world of good.

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