Fix Posted September 17, 2014 Share Posted September 17, 2014 I know it, for a fact, that less than three months after we broke up... And her telling me just a few weeks ago 'I kissed two guys, but that's it, I don't want anyone I just want to be on my own'. She is sleeping with someone, and has maybe slept with more... It hurts, and when I found out my heart beat raised and I felt panic and an urge to contact her... I don't know if she is just sleeping with someone or if she is in a relationship with them... I hate all of this so much. The thing is since we have been broken up I have slept with two people, a few times with each... I felt nothing for them, it was just sex. A distraction, I thought it'd help me move on, but it hasn't. I want to think she is having the same experience, that it is just meaningless and not the same as sex in a relationship, but then I think the difference is I still love her and want her back but she has no interest in me and is out there doing what she actually wants. And what she wants is to have sex with other guys... Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted September 17, 2014 Share Posted September 17, 2014 you need to be having much more of that sex you have been getting from other girls.. Fake it till you make it, give it some time and things will look up.. but right now you and your ex are no more. Link to post Share on other sites
mammasita Posted September 17, 2014 Share Posted September 17, 2014 What you need to do is stop talking to her, stop asking about her, stop looking for information about her. Link to post Share on other sites
Ordinaryday Posted September 17, 2014 Share Posted September 17, 2014 it helps getting over thoughts like this when you are in complete 100% NC. A year ago I saw a woman who dumped me walking hand in hand down the street, in the city, with some guy who must be her new man. we were on opposite sides of the street and I immediately crossed the road to the other side to avoid passing her, I didnt say a word to her, pretended I didnt see her and the new guy. no way am I going to pass them and make even ten seconds of small talk. get in complete 100% NC, it helps. Link to post Share on other sites
sdrawkcaB ssA Posted September 17, 2014 Share Posted September 17, 2014 First and foremost, it is time to break away your attachment to her. It is not good for you to dwell on her, when it is obvious she is on her own and happy. Stay away from contact, if anything you may leave a simple message telling her that you need to have time to get over your feelings, and will contact her when your feelings come to pass. It will be hard for you to get over your deep feelings, but everyday you must tell yourself, I am breaking away because I care and want to be able to accept what I have. It may not make much difference to you, but each day you tell yourself that, you will become stronger in kicking your attachment to her. Be thankful you did not go through an ordeal from clashing temperaments or a complete clean and dirty cut off. At least you can enjoy what she still shares with you when the time comes. But for the most part, drop your deep connection before attempting friendship. It is not fair to her and yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Fix Posted September 17, 2014 Author Share Posted September 17, 2014 It's so annoying to me that she was saying to me a few weeks a go that she didn't want anyone, yet even when she was telling me that she had already slept with someone and still was... She slept with someone a week after we broke up, maybe even sooner, and has been sleeping with him or others since then. It seems that this is all the break up was about. She wanted to sleep with her co-worker guilt free, and now she is sleeping with him or whoever else. I want to text her and say horrible angry things... Then I want to try and set up some kind of fwb situation with her... Then I want to cry... Urge, I need to purge this person from my life and mind. Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted September 17, 2014 Share Posted September 17, 2014 It's so annoying to me that she was saying to me a few weeks a go that she didn't want anyone, yet even when she was telling me that she had already slept with someone and still was... She slept with someone a week after we broke up, maybe even sooner, and has been sleeping with him or others since then. It seems that this is all the break up was about. She wanted to sleep with her co-worker guilt free, and now she is sleeping with him or whoever else. I want to text her and say horrible angry things... Then I want to try and set up some kind of fwb situation with her... Then I want to cry... Urge, I need to purge this person from my life and mind. Then you need to adopt a strict NC policy. No NOT text her or call her. If she text or calls, IGNORE IT! Even if it's a simple "Hi" she knows that learning she's been sleeping around hurt you; therefore, sooner or later she's gonna want to know if you're okay. That's none of her business. She gave up that right. And block her from Facebook. If she notices that you're not responding, then she'll start posting crap that will get under your skin or post pics that she'll know will hurt you so you'll respond that way. So, it's best that you block her. In the meantime, start making positive changes in your life. Change your wardrobe, get a new haircut. GO to the gym regularly. Eat right and get plenty of sleep. Get new hobbies, join some clubs in your area. And travel! It's a big world out there. Go see it! You'll discover when you see new cultures and meet new people, you'll see that your Ex wasn't your entire world! Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted September 17, 2014 Share Posted September 17, 2014 So now in addition to her breaking your heart, you find out she is a liar. So you should be happy you dodged a bullet, right? I know it's not that simple but if you think about what's best for you, clearly she's not it. Link to post Share on other sites
mightycpa Posted September 17, 2014 Share Posted September 17, 2014 I know it, for a fact, that less than three months after we broke up... And her telling me just a few weeks ago 'I kissed two guys, but that's it, I don't want anyone I just want to be on my own'. She is sleeping with someone, and has maybe slept with more... It hurts, and when I found out my heart beat raised and I felt panic and an urge to contact her... I don't know if she is just sleeping with someone or if she is in a relationship with them... I hate all of this so much. The thing is since we have been broken up I have slept with two people, a few times with each... I felt nothing for them, it was just sex. A distraction, I thought it'd help me move on, but it hasn't. I want to think she is having the same experience, that it is just meaningless and not the same as sex in a relationship, but then I think the difference is I still love her and want her back but she has no interest in me and is out there doing what she actually wants. And what she wants is to have sex with other guys... Just two things about this: 1) As you are painfully aware, things change. What she told you eight weeks ago is subject to change, and she's under no obligation to keep you up to speed on where she's at. 2) Don't presume that she thinks like you think, or like she used to think. She may be enjoying it very much, with an appetite for more. That's why all the other advice about NC, stop thinking about her, etc. etc. is good advice. All your worry doesn't change anything, so you might as well learn how to stop worrying now. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted September 17, 2014 Share Posted September 17, 2014 I agree. You can't take control of what she does or doesn't do. Therefore, take control of the only thing you can and THAT'S YOU! Time to take care of number one for awhile. Fix yourself. Make positive changes, keep busy and heal from this. Link to post Share on other sites
hedyo Posted September 17, 2014 Share Posted September 17, 2014 Why are you getting so upset if you've been doing the same thing? And if she did want to sleep with other people, isn't it better that she ended the relationship rather than cheated on you? She doesn't have to tell you whether she's sleeping with anyone. It's not your business anymore, and you shouldn't be asking. Go NC and move on. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Fix Posted September 17, 2014 Author Share Posted September 17, 2014 I haven't contacted her about it or said anything to her about it. I do know that it is true though... Although we have been broken up close to three months we had quiet a lot of contact the first two months and so my 'healing process' feels as if it is only just starting. Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted September 17, 2014 Share Posted September 17, 2014 I haven't contacted her about it or said anything to her about it. I do know that it is true though... Although we have been broken up close to three months we had quiet a lot of contact the first two months and so my 'healing process' feels as if it is only just starting. Because it just has! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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