Apaige Posted September 16, 2014 Share Posted September 16, 2014 I loved like I've never loved before...he left me, for someone younger...I did meet someone new, well two years ago, but I can't seem to get past so many insecurities...he doesn't know if he loves me now, he once did...I messed that up! Insecurities are so stupid! Why did the first one leave me this way? I am so broken and damaged. Why would anyone want to deal with that? Link to post Share on other sites
thekid36 Posted September 16, 2014 Share Posted September 16, 2014 I loved like I've never loved before...he left me, for someone younger...I did meet someone new, well two years ago, but I can't seem to get past so many insecurities...he doesn't know if he loves me now, he once did...I messed that up! Insecurities are so stupid! Why did the first one leave me this way? I am so broken and damaged. Why would anyone want to deal with that? The past cannot really help but have an effect on our lives. It is basically inevitable. We cannot always control what happens to us. What we can control is how we choose to react. It makes sense that you would be insecure because of someone you loved leaving like that. Especially, if it happened to be out of the blue. After all you had invested. You just need to try realizing that all in life is specific. Just because that first man hurt you does not mean the second one will as well. Looking at the prior relationship as a positive can only prove to be helpful. As a learning experience I mean. Someone who cares about you will help you work through the issues of insecurity that still exist. Taking our partner is not similar to a buffet. You take the whole person and not only the easy parts. Link to post Share on other sites
Gatema Posted September 17, 2014 Share Posted September 17, 2014 (edited) I'm sure that whatever had happened during the ending of your first relationship had some residual baggage leftover, which you carried in to this second relationship. Totally normal and common. However, the insecurities that you feel now, and you believe that they have plagued your current relationship, didn't just emerge out of thin air. Something had to happen, then transpired, between you, maybe a recent situation somehow triggered something in you that brought back a past memory, one that seemed closely related to this new issue. Chronic insecurities would likely appear early on in the relationship, and are evident that this is a person that needs a lot of attention from day one. Occasional insecurities happen more often when the typical behavior for someone in the relationship, suddenly changes. When a person doesn't respond, or act in the style of manner that has been the more common practice, sets off a cognitive alert that something is different. When a partner becomes vague, less interested, or downright indifferent enough so that it is noticed by the other person, there's usually a reason. Your insecurities that you're feeling, whether they are from the previous relationship's experiences that schooled you, or if these current experiences, seem to feel all too familiar to you, then you have to consider this before you continue to beat yourself up any further. There's a very good chance that your insecurties have some credence behind them. My two cents, perhaps you should be more concerned about what this guy has been doing, no matter what he's been telling you, and try to be less insecure about your suspicions. Edited September 17, 2014 by Gatema Link to post Share on other sites
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