GDAYIMHERE Posted September 16, 2014 Share Posted September 16, 2014 (edited) Hi, I split up with my wife about 2008. We split up due to me having mental health issues (not violence:which is really under control) and other factors. It was a amicable split up. She has been overseas for a few years studying as a specialist doctor and in May requested me as friends on Facebook. She asked general questions/ how I'm going and she heard that I was in a relationship and wanted to know some Goss (which I wasn't in: I have been single since we parted). About a week later she wished me happy birthday. I know she came home for good in July (she is friends with a mates wife). I'm not sure what she is thinking, it has me wondering if she is thinking on restarting a relationship? We did get on great before. Part 2: My ex re-contacted me again last week asking how I am, asked about my father (which has cancer). She asked me do I have a special woman in my life. I replied no. I asked her if she had a special man in her life. She replied no. . She then told me later she had IVF and is having a baby in January ( she has no partner). I congratulated her and gave her my mobile number if she ever needs to call me. She gave me hers. What do you think? This is what she sent me: "No special man, just a very generous stranger who come January will have given me a very special boy instead. Edited September 16, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Link to post Share on other sites
Ordinaryday Posted September 16, 2014 Share Posted September 16, 2014 gotta be honest, it doesn't sound like she wants you back as a partner. it sounds more like she misses your friendship (but not as a boyfriend) so she wants to catch up with you and say hi and see how you are going and have a nice old chat and then you will never hear from her again. if you are completely over her then you can do it, if you can legitimately handle being her friend then sure. but if you can't I would send her a message saying something like "nice to hear from you, but Im not really up for the just friends thing. please dont contact me again unless it is about us getting back together" Link to post Share on other sites
Survivor12 Posted September 16, 2014 Share Posted September 16, 2014 Before you begin concerning yourself with her intentions, you need to decide what yours are. Do you still have strong feelings for her? Would you be interested in getting back together with her? Have you completely resolved the issues that led to your breakup? Are you prepared to have a platonic friendship or would it set you back if you discovered that that is all she is interested in? Are you willing to take the backseat to a newborn? How do you feel about being a daddy if things were to work out between you? These are serious questions that would be best to consider and decide before you even think about starting things up with her. There are some big issues--your mental health, a baby... Oh! And if you both are interested, take is SLOWLY. Treat it as a NEW relationship...don't jump back in head first. Go on dates, get to know each other again. Don't expect things to be the same as they were before. Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted September 16, 2014 Share Posted September 16, 2014 Yeah, having a hard time with the IVF. Sounds like a one night stand that went sideways to me. My thoughts on this? She's pregnant scared and alone (for the moment). So, she may be reaching out to you to be a friendly ear, to put her at ease. Or maybe she's thinking that her kid may need a father figure in his life. To give her emotional support when she needs it the most. You said it yourself, you two were on friendly terms. But, she left to go pursue her career and left you behind. Now, that she's in "a spot" she's reaching out to you. But, how is that fair to you? Nothing in her texts gives me the impression that she wants to come back. It's not your job to give her a pat on the head and a warm fuzzy to say everything is going to be okay. She fired you from the position of husband. She said your services are no longer required. Here's the rub, you are not her friend, you're her Ex-husband. You didn't get into a marriage with the intention of get a divorce and being nothing more than a friend to her. So, you need to find out what her intentions are before she plays a number on your head. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
No Limit Posted September 16, 2014 Share Posted September 16, 2014 Her last FWB/ONS/whatever got her pregnant and kicked her to the curb. Now she's testing the waters to see if you would be willing to spend a fortune of energy and money on her and a strangers' kid. Unfriend her and move on. You're the ex, not the new backup plan. Link to post Share on other sites
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