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My torture turned in Joy! 11 year relationship gone


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Hi All

 

It has been a long while since i last posted. It has been for many reasons and i really want to share them with you. Please have a look at the thread bellow, it describes a 11 year relationship and a painful break up. I was left broken, devastated and in a bad bad way. I want to share with you all here that things get better, and not only better, but amazingly better.

 

https://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/453606-nasty-email-ex-nc-2-months

 

https://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/450708-11-years-gone-16-years-old-27-years-old

 

 

As you have read, I was in a bad place right! My fiance left me 11 months ago, out of the blue. I know i had to get back on my feet, but it was so difficult. It was the hardest thing i have ever faced. Some dark times, the thought of giving up clouded my mind and judgement. I came to this community, listened and spoke to fellow heartbroken friends.

 

Jamie, has contacted me, and she has tried to come back on so many occasions. I didn't hear a word from here for 8 months, and then the walls came crashing down for her. She realized that i was a good guy, and the the GRASS IS NOT GREENER on the other side. She confessed to taking drugs, been in terrible relationships. She lost her job because partying was more important. Basically, she is a mess.

 

On the other hand, my life has got better, and better and BETTER. I missed the idea of her for 8 months, as i felt i loved her and would only love her. I did love her, but after 8 months of NC, and moving on with my life, i simply one day stopped loving her.

 

At this moment in my life, i pity her. I don't love her, I actually feel sorry for her. Once upon a time, I was angry and wanted her to disappear of the face of this plannet. Now, i truly wish her happiness. I wish her well, and i really mean that. There is NOT ONE ounce of regret. I really do not want her, in anyway whatsoever. I don't want to be her friend, i don't want to talk to her. I am so uninterested. I cannot believe what i saw in her, I just cant. Its amazing how things change. 10 months ago, i couldn't be without her, and now, i am so indifferent, that i cannot even imagine the life i had with her.

 

How did i get like this? Ill tell you. This community! It helped me. My parents and friends. And my good attitude. I went to gym, and trained hard. I became a yes man, and did everything. I worked hard and got close to my family. I read books, and i cried every night. I literally forced myself to smile in the car, wherever i went. I did this for so long that my jaw started getting stiff. I know this all sounds stupid, but it really made a huge difference. Most of all i stayed NC! It is the only way to heal, i can promise you that.

 

So, she came back. She asked for me back, she cried. I did not want her back. I thought for a long time that this moment would be that gratifying, " I told you so" or the "you've made your bed" moment. When she called, i just felt sad for her. I actually didn't want that call. This is when i realized that i am over her.

 

I met the most amazing woman. She is the Dentist i mentioned in my previous post. She loves me and i love her dearly. She is good to me, she treats me with respect and she is beautiful on the inside as well as the outside. She makes me the happiest person in the world. I met her when i was broken, and she stayed by my side. She actually found my posts online, and she read everything so she knows my entire life. She was very hurt, but she understood. She stayed with me, even though she knew i was broken at the time. Now, i'm deeply in love with her. We a great together and the only thing i can say is that i will marry her. She is the kindest person I've ever met.

 

I want to share this experience with you all. Heartbreak sucks, it sucks so hard, but look after yourself. Force a smile, cry, get angry, train hard, eat well. Love yourself, be healthy in everyday and i promise you, you will be OK. You will find happiness, and it hits you smack in the face. Read the posts prior. I was in a bad place. There is hope, and life is good.

 

Julian Almond

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Having a difficult day. This post made me so happy to read. My journey is just starting but I am excited for the future. Thanks for coming back to post again.

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Congrats bud, I remember reading your earlier story and it's good to hear that you've worked it out and are doing well. They always come back after we've moved on......enjoy the Dentist, she sounds like a real gem!

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Dear Julian

 

thank you so much for relating your experience back to us :)

 

It gives me hope that I will be in your place and like you become a strong and wonderfully positive force.

 

I wish you and your new love all the best in the world.

 

Take care!

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Dear Julian

 

thank you so much for relating your experience back to us :)

 

It gives me hope that I will be in your place and like you become a strong and wonderfully positive force.

 

I wish you and your new love all the best in the world.

 

Take care!

 

Thank you all. You are kind and really are an amazing community. Sometimes when the days are bad, and you cannot muster a smile, remember that you are not the only one that has been there. You guys all share the same pain, and we can overcome it.

 

Hang in there all!

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Good to read you're doing better! :) Hopefully it'll motivate others to stay in NC. ...and exes not to let themselves be ruined.

 

Best wishes from me as well. :D

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