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My boyfriend and I had been together for 7 years. When I met him he was a horrible mess. Drinking heavily, depressed and in debt.

Despite of this i saw the raw diamond in the man and decided to ignore or learn to live with this and helped him out. Because he was being evicted from his house, I took him in, two months after we started our relationship and together with him we cleared his debts. His drinking had remained an issue but he had a job, did well and would constantly try to deal with this.

As time went by, we had given each other our best and our worst and the past year and a half the relationship had become under a lot of strain due to mainly his drinking. We had been fighting more and spent very little time together. I turned to my friends and spent much time out of the house.

Last February i left for a short family visit overseas and found out he had made a profile in an Asian dating site and took interest in a Chinense girl.

When i got back we had discussed our situation, and he did admit wanting to break up. I was devastated but willing to put up a fight to save us, as i do live him. We had decided we will no longer live together but continue to see each other and see what can be done, after he told the Chinese girl he was no longer interested.

He found a new place to stay and would spend the weekends there, as i work most weekends and would spend the week with me refusing to move out completely, with most of his belongings still in the house i live in.

We spent 5 wonderful months rediscovering each other, talking, dating again and reconnecting on all levels. He kept his site claiming he is interested in Japanese culture chatting to both men and women and showing me all the correspondences to prove its innocent until he met a Japanese woman his age. In the beginning he claimed this is just like any other chat friend and on my second family visit, he stayed behind and informed me it had become more. When I got back he had told me she is his new girlfriend and he loves her. We live in Europe she in Japan, they had not spoken to each other yet, not by phone neither by video they have exchanged pictures and had set a date for her to come here in the end of November. I was devastated. He did insist on keeping seeing me and in the beginning said he is open to hanging out and more, and as I did love him i did recommend no contact in the beginning but was too weak to follow through. We would hang out and more, he would not tell her but last night i had just felt it is not working for me. The pain is too much to bear, and although right now i do not want him back i did live under the illusion that somehow as time will go by we will have a chance. I realised it is not the case and that although he has not met her je may be using me until she gets here or as back up if it does not work between them. I can not do this and told him that an occasional conversation via text is ok but I am suspending our interaction until he figures out what he wants because he claims he still loves me and does not know what he is doing.

I told him i can not exist alongside her and told him i am clearing the field as he needs to figure out this thing with her.

 

What now? How do i manage this? I am constantly wondering if it will work with them and what will become of me and how to deal with this blow.

 

Tips? Anyone?

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evanescentworld

No tips are necessary. He is obviously one of life's takers and would like his cake as well as eating it.

I'm afraid as it has been you with the strength, backbone and determination to salvage this and fight to keep it, you are going to have to be the strong one and end it, no ifs or buts, once and for all, and for good.

He is his own agent, he doesn't 'belong' to you, so there are no half-measures here.

I think you need to consider this over, for your own clarity, end it, and realise you can't fix him.

Let him go, look after yourself, but do not fence-sit - and don't give him that option either. He chose you once.

Don't make him do it again, and do not settle for being an option.

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I have no doubts in my mind it has to end. As I did indeed choose to tell him that.

I am searching for ways of dealing, even with my own decision. I do not regret it, i just dont know how to move on.

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evanescentworld

You move on by distancing yourself, ensuring that all contact is abruptly halted - in BOTH directions - and you guarantee that he can never contact you by making sure you change your contact details, from email to mobile phone, to landline, to Facebook profile to sms, to any which way possible. (it can and has been done, by many members....)

And make sure that in registering all these new means of communication, you delete all his contact details, do not transfer them and resist all temptation to even think about getting in touch with him.

 

THEN - you can move on.

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Trust me distance yourself keeping contact will only u you think keeping contact will get him back it wont trust me i use to keep contact and all my ex did was feed me false hope one day she would say i love and want to take me back then next its about the boy she likes and is dating u are going to get fed up of hurting and just call quits and walk out of his life trust me. Dont wait so long do it now cut ties u will just be hurting yourself .U must heal from this and the time is now breaking up with someone is very serious dont let him walk on u

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its been two weeks since we had the big break up boom and i am still at a loss.

 

because we bought a house together and the issue is still not ressolved we still have finances and other practicalities connecting us which makes NC pratically impossible, as i am unable to really just talk practicalities without the conversation sliding into other things.

10 days ago we had an awful conversation and my ex was praticularly cruel and unkind. i then again asked him to leave me be and not speak to me unless it is practical. as in the link above his new girlfriend who is japanese said she was coming to europe in november to stay with him and see if this can work in person. as they have never met, spoke on the phone or had any webcam contact this is something she said she would do.

he lasted 24 hours with leaving me alone before he called me and asked me if this is really really really what i wanted, for him to leave me alone. i am weak right now and not coping very well and told him i dont know anymore and all of this is too heavy. he said he missed me, still loved me, still cares for me in a special way and can not let me go even if he wanted to. he said i am the closest person in the world to him and he would be crushed if we had no contact, so yes, the idiot that i am, i caved in.

the next day he called upset and said the japanese girlfriends' parents, whome she still lives with had foribidden her from coming to europe and all has been called off, but he assured me he will not give up and try his best to convince her parent by sending them gifts etc. She told him she wants to fight for this but in the meantime things were suspended.

i did not really know what to do with the information and just told him if he wants to talk about other things in his life that is fine, but this is useless to me. he said he does not care whether or not i am mad at him, or whether or not i make sense as long as i do not turn my back on him

 

For now i told him i dont care anymore what and how, i am worn out and had started councelling which had finally given me something to concentrate on, it being me.

even since he has been messaging me none stop. all day and all evening up until i tell him i am going to sleep. keeps inviting me over, and last time i was there (yes dumb of me) he was all over me asking me to stay the night, which i did not.

 

now this is doing my head in, as i have not eaten much over the past month, he had insisted last night that i come over and eat because he cooked for me and i decided to do so. came to his door and as he had been drinking the whole day, after his housemate opened, found him sleeping. this for some reason i am not sure why was just too much. i woke him up and told him i was leaving, he tried to stop me but i walked. i got a message from him that night saying he has been sleeping very poorly the whole week and it was just too much but he was so sorry. i did not reply. i have nothing left to say, this morning he was seeking contact again, again, no reply on my end. we still have a house together and are trying to figure out whether or not i get to keep it in my name or we have to sell. so there are things linking us to each other unfortunately. i dont know what to do anymore, dont know about this NC thing, and know that of course i am happy when he gives me attention but i also know he told me if his japanese gf wants to marry, he is open to it, although they never met, spoke or seen each other on webcam.

 

i am to weak to tell him to leave me alone, can not delete his contact details yet, and two weeks have passed and i feel no progress has been made.

 

i am not as crushed as i was, the sadness is turning into anger, but being angry all the time is not much fun either. i just want the praticalities to get sorted and to move on, and although he claims he and ms japan are happening and this is serious, he still keeps coming after me.. why?????

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evanescentworld

Because he can.

 

And it's your fault.

 

All of the above, is down to you, not him.

Get to grips with that harsh reality.

 

Once you're mad enough with yourself for constantly caving, giving in and being his doormat, hopefully you may come to your senses and do as you have previously been advised.

If you cannot control yourself, and do what you need to do, then all this recounting of the drama that's going on, will boil down to one fact: It happens, because you let it happen.

 

So? Stop it happening.

Simple.

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i must say, i regeret the militant agressive tone of your response to me. i am giving you the credit, hence i do believe you are trying to help and are not a troll.

 

I am here for support, this is not simple, as you state if it was, trust me it would have been done and i will not be where i am now.

I am here to hear other opinions, and yes i may be emotionally somewhat unsmart, but the plain right mean that comes out of your response to me is not even remotely helpful. please if you want to help, be kinder, if not yes it is a free world but my posts obviously annoy you so refrain from commenting. please.

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Swap places, and make sure all the paperwork gets signed. Sell the house to him. Tell him he and his new girl can live in it.

 

My advice would be to come to grips with a few facts. WHY doesn't matter. WHAT matters.

 

He has a gf,

he's drinking himself drunk,

he wants to eat his cake and have it too

no doubt he'll be looking for a job soon

 

evanescentworld is right. it may not be the cuddly message you want to hear, but cuddly messages are going to keep you right where you are.

 

all that time you spend in counseling could probably be better spent in action to extricate yourself from this situation. plenty of time to mope around later. the longer you stay "in" this, the longer your misery lasts.

 

It really is a simple formula. Deep down, you don't want to do it. That's normal, but only you can decide to pull the plug on your drama and start walking away.

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littleblacksubmarine
Because he can.

 

And it's your fault.

 

All of the above, is down to you, not him.

Get to grips with that harsh reality.

 

Once you're mad enough with yourself for constantly caving, giving in and being his doormat, hopefully you may come to your senses and do as you have previously been advised.

If you cannot control yourself, and do what you need to do, then all this recounting of the drama that's going on, will boil down to one fact: It happens, because you let it happen.

 

So? Stop it happening.

Simple.

 

Brutally put, but essentially true. Idealising him, blaming him, being angry with him are all the same problem really. Making him responsible for how you are feeling. You are responsible for your actions and your feelings, even if he has done things to hurt you, you are the one that continues to allow it to happen

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he said he does not care whether or not i am mad at him, or whether or not i make sense as long as i do not turn my back on him

 

The fact that you can type that and not immediately realize its extremely simple means that you're in deep, deep, deep need of extensive therapy. You're taking your frustration out on a message board poster who took the time to talk to you.

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I think i am being misundersood. I am not here to argue with anyone, i have taken enough agression over the past and this is not why i posted what i did.

I am not looking for cuddly responses as mentioned, neither am I taking anything out on anyone.

I have admitted several times and repeatedly, this is MY problem, this is MY doing this is my struggle and no one else is responsible for this but myself.

I was taken aback because things are not simple, as mentioned as, being told it is my fault, is something I already am aware of, telling me again will not help but then, maybe I am knocking on the wrong doors.

I am registered for therapy, I have mentioned that as well.

I was searching for personal experiences that may explain to me why I do or act the way I do, maybe by people who have been through the same or going through the same.

I can learn from other people's experience by how they dealt with a similar situation.

I can not switch places, sell him the house because he does not want to live here, this is also the reason he mentioned for leaving - not wanting the financial burden.

I am looking for explanations of why he treats me the way he does, and why, as quoted he said he would put up with any behaviour from me as long as I don't turn by back on him. This is not what I said to him, this is what he said to me, I have the tiny bit of good sense not to put up with such behaviour of he was dishing it out

 

I have been through a lot in this life and had managed always, this time I find myself completely lost and really do not know what to do. In my head I do, but implementing this is too difficult for me.

Please do not attack me, I did not disagree with the context of what is said but the way it was presented.

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littleblacksubmarine
I think i am being misundersood. I am not here to argue with anyone, i have taken enough agression over the past and this is not why i posted what i did.

I am not looking for cuddly responses as mentioned, neither am I taking anything out on anyone.

I have admitted several times and repeatedly, this is MY problem, this is MY doing this is my struggle and no one else is responsible for this but myself.

I was taken aback because things are not simple, as mentioned as, being told it is my fault, is something I already am aware of, telling me again will not help but then, maybe I am knocking on the wrong doors.

I am registered for therapy, I have mentioned that as well.

I was searching for personal experiences that may explain to me why I do or act the way I do, maybe by people who have been through the same or going through the same.

I can learn from other people's experience by how they dealt with a similar situation.

I can not switch places, sell him the house because he does not want to live here, this is also the reason he mentioned for leaving - not wanting the financial burden.

I am looking for explanations of why he treats me the way he does, and why, as quoted he said he would put up with any behaviour from me as long as I don't turn by back on him. This is not what I said to him, this is what he said to me, I have the tiny bit of good sense not to put up with such behaviour of he was dishing it out

 

I have been through a lot in this life and had managed always, this time I find myself completely lost and really do not know what to do. In my head I do, but implementing this is too difficult for me.

Please do not attack me, I did not disagree with the context of what is said but the way it was presented.

 

It was maybe phrased a little on the harsh side, but I don't think you should take it personally, we are just trying to help.

 

You are asking for reasons why he may be doing this to you, we can give you plenty and I'm sure you can think of many too. This won't help you though, as there is no way of confirming them. Even he may not know why he is doing it. Knowing why is not relevant, even if you think it is right now. It doesn't matter and thinking about it will only hurt you more

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i must say, i regeret the militant agressive tone of your response to me. i am giving you the credit, hence i do believe you are trying to help and are not a troll.

 

I am here for support, this is not simple, as you state if it was, trust me it would have been done and i will not be where i am now.

I am here to hear other opinions, and yes i may be emotionally somewhat unsmart, but the plain right mean that comes out of your response to me is not even remotely helpful. please if you want to help, be kinder, if not yes it is a free world but my posts obviously annoy you so refrain from commenting. please.

 

There's nothing militant or aggresive with the response that was given to you. It's just the reality of your situation in that this stops when you decide to stop it.

 

"i just want the praticalities to get sorted and to move on, and although he claims he and ms japan are happening and this is serious, he still keeps coming after me.. why?????"

 

He keeps coming after you because you are a crutch. He does this for no other reason than you presenting yourself as available and accepting of his behavior. Why would he not want to have you in his corner when you have always been there, regardless of the circumstances?

 

I understand you're hurt and it's hard to let go but the line is drawn when the man you love is pursuing another woman. That should be your boundary. The problem is that you lack boundaries and until you set those lines to protect yourself, he will keep hurting you. At this point you are allowing him to treat you like an option. Only you can stop that.

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I was taken aback because things are not simple

 

he said he does not care whether or not i am mad at him, or whether or not i make sense as long as i do not turn my back on him

 

Again, it's extremely simple. You're so out of your rational mind with grief and insanity you can't see it. We're going to pound this again and again and again. It's really simple, and he's obviously a nutjob too if he wants to marry someone he's ever met.

 

Actually, he's far crazier than you are right now. He may be the least interesting, desirable person I have ever heard of on these boards.

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evanescentworld
.....

I was searching for personal experiences that may explain to me why I do or act the way I do, maybe by people who have been through the same or going through the same.

 

I'm sorry, but that wasn't alluded to, or even made clear in your post.

 

The only question I saw, , after having read the post twice, was this one:

.... he still keeps coming after me.. why?????

 

And I gave you a response which I actually hoped WOULD make you angry, and cause you to fire off.

I want you to cultivate that energy, feed it, and perpetuate it, but you need to direct it at him, and keep it firing.

 

 

I can learn from other people's experience by how they dealt with a similar situation.

Possibly. But possibly not. They're not you, and you are not them, and whether the situations are similar or not, examples of actions are generally futile, until you can shift from the Mind-set you are currently jammed in, and adopt a far healthier and self-serving one.

 

 

I am looking for explanations of why he treats me the way he does, and why,
Sadly, second-guessing, or trying to, is futile. He plainly wants his cake and to eat it too. He wants you to stick around, to be the fall-guy optional extra, and requires your tacit agreement - which he will take as blessing - that he can continue behaving like a complete Pig with you, and still have all he wants.

Understanding a complete jerk really isn't hard, and knowing that it's what he is, is even easier. Why he behaves this way, is a mystery to anyone, and in all probability, he couldn't tell you coherently if he tried for the rest of his life.

he's an egotistic selfish idiot.

 

as quoted he said he would put up with any behaviour from me as long as I don't turn by back on him.

Any resistance and objection to what he does would effectively be turning your back on him.

he is demanding your cooperation and compliance. he doesn't care how mad it makes you, how sad, desperate, hurt or deserted it makes you feel. He just wants you to agree to everything.

 

This is not what I said to him, this is what he said to me, I have the tiny bit of good sense not to put up with such behaviour of he was dishing it out

But you have, and you are, can you not see that? The only way to effectively communicate your complete intolerance, is to completely ignore him, and banish him from all effective communication, forthwith.

 

I have been through a lot in this life
I am truly sorry to hear that, but you can change that now, Now.

 

and had managed always, this time I find myself completely lost and really do not know what to do. In my head I do, but implementing this is too difficult for me.

Why?

Why, why, why?? When it destroys you, manipulates you and transforms you into someone you are not, would you be willing to remain in this situation?

 

Never mind what he's doing, and why - you need to completely strip apart every vestige of your persona, and determine why you permit this to continue.

Please do not attack me, I did not disagree with the context of what is said but the way it was presented.

There was no attack.

There was an attempt to make you see that the problem is in your lap, but then, so is the solution. However, you have already admitted here, more than once, that you cannot stop this pattern from repeating.

This is something you will have ample opportunity to explore in therapy.

I wish you much Metta, and a change of direction, for the better.

Edited by evanescentworld
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My boyfriend and I had been together for 7 years. When I met him he was a horrible mess. Drinking heavily, depressed and in debt.

Despite of this i saw the raw diamond in the man and decided to ignore or learn to live with this and helped him out. Because he was being evicted from his house, I took him in, two months after we started our relationship and together with him we cleared his debts. His drinking had remained an issue but he had a job, did well and would constantly try to deal with this.

As time went by, we had given each other our best and our worst and the past year and a half the relationship had become under a lot of strain due to mainly his drinking. We had been fighting more and spent very little time together. I turned to my friends and spent much time out of the house.

Last February i left for a short family visit overseas and found out he had made a profile in an Asian dating site and took interest in a Chinense girl.

When i got back we had discussed our situation, and he did admit wanting to break up. I was devastated but willing to put up a fight to save us, as i do live him. We had decided we will no longer live together but continue to see each other and see what can be done, after he told the Chinese girl he was no longer interested.

He found a new place to stay and would spend the weekends there, as i work most weekends and would spend the week with me refusing to move out completely, with most of his belongings still in the house i live in.

We spent 5 wonderful months rediscovering each other, talking, dating again and reconnecting on all levels. He kept his site claiming he is interested in Japanese culture chatting to both men and women and showing me all the correspondences to prove its innocent until he met a Japanese woman his age. In the beginning he claimed this is just like any other chat friend and on my second family visit, he stayed behind and informed me it had become more. When I got back he had told me she is his new girlfriend and he loves her. We live in Europe she in Japan, they had not spoken to each other yet, not by phone neither by video they have exchanged pictures and had set a date for her to come here in the end of November. I was devastated. He did insist on keeping seeing me and in the beginning said he is open to hanging out and more, and as I did love him i did recommend no contact in the beginning but was too weak to follow through. We would hang out and more, he would not tell her but last night i had just felt it is not working for me. The pain is too much to bear, and although right now i do not want him back i did live under the illusion that somehow as time will go by we will have a chance. I realised it is not the case and that although he has not met her je may be using me until she gets here or as back up if it does not work between them. I can not do this and told him that an occasional conversation via text is ok but I am suspending our interaction until he figures out what he wants because he claims he still loves me and does not know what he is doing.

I told him i can not exist alongside her and told him i am clearing the field as he needs to figure out this thing with her.

 

What now? How do i manage this? I am constantly wondering if it will work with them and what will become of me and how to deal with this blow.

 

Tips? Anyone?

 

I'm really sorry for you. Ik ben trouwens ook Nederlands ;)

 

I don't know, it sounds like he's using you for the moment. And I'm sure you don't want that. And maybe it's not what you want to hear, but situations like this usually not get any better. I'm sure deep down in your heart you would - in the long run - be better off without him (you agree or not?). Although I KNOW that's hard to accept/deal with....

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Again, it's extremely simple. You're so out of your rational mind with grief and insanity you can't see it. We're going to pound this again and again and again. It's really simple, and he's obviously a nutjob too if he wants to marry someone he's ever met.

 

Actually, he's far crazier than you are right now. He may be the least interesting, desirable person I have ever heard of on these boards.

ThorntonMelon your words, espcially the last had won themselves a screenshot and is now my phone screensaver.

I am grateful for your response, i am aware ineed, like you say, that may rational mind is lost, i hope to regain it. It just feels the person had taken a part of me with them, that part I need to reconstruct. I need to get that part back.

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I'm really sorry for you. Ik ben trouwens ook Nederlands ;)

 

I don't know, it sounds like he's using you for the moment. And I'm sure you don't want that. And maybe it's not what you want to hear, but situations like this usually not get any better. I'm sure deep down in your heart you would - in the long run - be better off without him (you agree or not?). Although I KNOW that's hard to accept/deal with....

bedankt!

i am afraid of this as well, and i suppose it is easy but the pain and this being so fresh i make it more complicated.

i have to accept the fact that time is needed and there are no shortcuts.... i accept that some things can not be explained and are not even relevant for me when it comes to why he acts the way he does.

i have realised my dealing with this are not healthy, i intend to get healthy, it feels like i am really sick and need to get better.

thank you all again this helps so much.

liefs

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Again, it's extremely simple. You're so out of your rational mind with grief and insanity you can't see it. We're going to pound this again and again and again. It's really simple, and he's obviously a nutjob too if he wants to marry someone he's ever met.

 

Actually, he's far crazier than you are right now. He may be the least interesting, desirable person I have ever heard of on these boards.

 

 

Michaelzone,

 

ThorntonMelon really hit the nail on the head. He truly seems like the least interesting, desirable person I have ever heard of... and honestly, I think he KNOWS you're too good for him... it's easier for him to go for an Asian girl who he's never met who can prob barely speak English because he DOESN'T HAVE TO IMPRESS HER. You are far too good for him, and he loves the attention you give him, despite his undesirableness, so he keeps you hanging on for his own SELFISH reasons and for validation.

 

Honestly... you are WAY too good for this guy. This guy is a complete loser. He has absolutely nothing going for him. In reality, you have had control over this relationship for the longest time. You have taken care of this dude. You can easily take your control back and cross him off... and unfortunately, you will HAVE to deal with him keeping on calling you and running back because he knows your worthy and still wants you in his life.

 

But you really have to put your foot down and know this guy is NOT FOR YOU, and you can get SO MUCH BETTER. You need to truly initiate No contact when possible and run far away as fast as possible. Heal yourself. Focus on yourself.

 

I know it's hard because you're blind right now. You see something in him that NO ONE ELSE DOES. That's what love does to us. But this is not a good love. You need to love yourself enough to finally be unblinded and see that you deserve so much better than him!!!!

 

When you finally do, you will feel so much better and feel so free.

 

I'm going through the same thing too.. it's hard breaking up... it hurts your heart and your soul... giving so much and getting nothing in return...

 

But we need to love ourselves enough to be strong enough to stop the cycle these guys keep putting us through. They are not worthy of us, and it's true. We have the control, and we can exercise is by TOTALLY CROSSING THEM OFF.

 

See him for what he is... then you will finally be able to move on. He is a loser, drunk, with no self esteem and nothing to offer. Who would be so desperate as to "fall in love" with a girl hes never met from a different country? he's a total loser and idiot with no brains at all. You, are a completely different story. You have brains and a beautiful heart.

 

Someone else out there is going to appreciate and love everything you have to offer. You have SO MUCH to offer you don't even realize. You will find someone wonderful someday who will meet you halfway, appreciate everything you do and give you back the same you give, maybe even more. You're a wonderful woman!!!!!!

 

Don't give this idiot ANY MORE ATTENTION, because thats exactly what he wants from you, and he doesn't deserve it!!! Take your love away from him and give that love to yourself and focus on you. You deserve it, not him!!!

 

Be strong and come on here if you need people to talk to to help you through it. Some nights it will be harder than others, but if you keep realizing he's a loser who doesn't deserve you and you cross him out completely, it will keep getting easier... trust me. Everything will get better, and I'm promising you this. Just X this loser out of your life.

 

Your life will only become beautiful and wonderful and better once you do that. :)

 

 

xoxoxo, lots of hugs!!!!!!! Be strong, you are wonderful. <3

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bedankt!

i have to accept the fact that time is needed and there are no shortcuts.... i accept that some things can not be explained and are not even relevant for me when it comes to why he acts the way he does.

i have realised my dealing with this are not healthy, i intend to get healthy, it feels like i am really sick and need to get better.

thank you all again this helps so much.

liefs

 

You seem to get it very well, but yes, it will take some time and "helaas", there are no short cuts... (i would love some myself)

 

For the moment you're trying to deal with the situation, accepting the finality and that's not easy. But after this period, you will start to see things more clearly.

 

(achter de regen schijnt de zon - niet vergeten ;) )

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