Do I initiate contact?

[Brittany5]

I have been single for 2 years. I have dated but not gotten serious with anyone. Mostly because of my horrible relationship with my kids father. I met a guy 6 months ago and he was so nice to me. He was visiting family but lived in another state. He lived about 5 hours away from me. We decided to start a long distance relationship. At first we was seeing each other every weekend then it changed to every month. He said he had so much going on but we still talked on the phone everyday.

 

I went traveling to another state for my job but he did come visit me. We ended up meeting each other kids after 3 months. It was the biggest decision I ever made. He has been great with my kids and he is a great father. After about 4 months it started changing. I hate to say it but he has never been upset with me but I have broke up with him several times because him distancing himself, not answering his phone at times for 1-2 days, and some things just did not seem to add up. We ended up talking again after a couple days. Recently, he missed my birthday because he was out of town.

 

2 weeks after my birthday he invited me to come to his house to spend the weekend with him. We had a great weekend but I noticed he was texting someone about coming to his house for their birthday and he was being so overprotective of his phone. There was no name saved but I decided to call the number blocked and a girl answered. I hung up and just continued with the weekend. A few days later I was in another state and I spoke to him earlier in the day and he told me to call him when I got off work. The first time I called it went to voicemail after a while. 3 hours later he still didn't call me back, so I called him again. This time it rung 2-3 times and went to voicemail. He put the phone on ignore basically.

 

All I text him was goodnight. The next day he still didn't call me so I decided to call him. When I spoke to him at first he act like he didn't have any missed calls from me then he changed it to well I might have missed your calls because I was in a restaurant drinking. So I just told him I had to go. He said something to me and I just said well if you knew I called then why didn't you call me back today and he said well I was but I got to work and got to busy. The thing is how was you going to call me back if you didn't know I called. I felt like he lied. I ended the conversation and text him.

 

I text him about how I felt he was a liar and told him he must been hanging out with a girl that is why he put my phone call on ignore then I told him about the text I seen . All he wanted to say that he was not perfect and tell me how it was an ex girlfriend he was texting but it was no big deal. I told him to lose my number. I have not talked to him in a week now. First 4 days, I blocked his number. The last 3 days i have cooled off and unblocked his number. I have thought about things a lot but I do not think I am wrong for getting upset about his actions but probably shouldn't have broke up with him.

 

I am so quickly to break things off with him because it is a easy way to protect my heart. My kids father used to text his ex girlfriends and tell them a whole bunch of crap about being with them and I do not want to go through that again.

 

I was wondering should I initiate contact with him or just wait it out? I do not want to lose him because I feel I have fell in love with him but what is the ending point.

Edited September 17, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
added much needed paragraphs, please use them in the future

[Bella2]

Sorry you're going through this.

 

But please try to not initiate contact (I know it's so hard). You're gonna initiate contact because you hope he will tell you something you want to hear. "I miss you", "I only want you" etc... And the chances are big that this is not going to happen. And you will feel worse (been there, done that).

[d0nnivain]

Let it go.

 

In your next relationship learn how to communicate rather than playing brinksmanship. You can't break up then just take it back. You have to work through issues not go off in a snit.

[Brittany5]

Thank you for your responses. After reading them, I decided to let everything be but he finally contacted me. I told him everything I was feeling and basically told him we need to work on our communication or we do not need to be together. I told him I would give him the option. Well I have not heard from him in 2 days since that conversation. I decided to call him today. Of course, he did not answer.

 

I called him about a hour later and he sends me a text asking if everything is ok because he was out the country. I said no but ok. He text me right back and says ok i will be back Thursday. I replied it was nice to know he was going out the country when he did not mention that when we talked on the phone. He didn't reply. So when I told him I have been sick he replied right back and said I didn't know, are you ok. I think this is all a game too him. I am letting this go. I have cut all contact with him.

Edited September 17, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[tim_tom]

Thank you for your responses. After reading them, I decided to let everything be but he finally contacted me. I told him everything I was feeling and basically told him we need to work on our communication or we do not need to be together. I told him I would give him the option. Well I have not heard from him in 2 days since that conversation. I decided to call him today. Of course, he did not answer. I called him about a hour later and he sends me a text asking if everything is ok because he was out the country. I said no but ok. He text me right back and says ok i will be back Thursday. I replied it was nice to know he was going out the country when he did not mention that when we talked on the phone. He didn't reply. So when I told him I have been sick he replied right back and said I didn't know, are you ok. I think this is all a game too him. I am letting this go. I have cut all contact with him.

 

I'm sorry to say this, but when someone is not taking time to get back to you quickly, that is a tell tale sign. He's either not interested in you, or he's stringing you along in case it doesn't work out with his ex.

 

Listen to you gut, it knows. My gut knew when my gf started doing that stuff. Same as you, she denied it, everything was fine.. just busy/no cell service.. a week later she broke up with me.