I lost my soulmate...(Updated)

[ImSoLostWithoutYou]

Hi guys.

I need to share my story and i want some serious help about it because right now i'm feeling like i need to just lay and die because i see not point in living life...

First of all... i ****ed up really bad this time, really bad...

 

So i met my girl 4 years ago. We instantly fell in love with each other and we decided to live together since we were going to study in the same university and we both searched for accommodation. It was perfect till the moment i sensed something was wrong and i did a very stupid yet helpful thing to browse her skype history. I found out she was typing to her ex saying she loved him and she didn't love me and so on... I was DEVASTATED back then. She was sleeping next to me and i found it all out. I was so confused that i got up and packed all my luggage while she was looking me and she didn't had a clue what is going on. She was really scared though. I was almost ready to move out but i decided that i should talk to her. It was very painful conversation. Fast forward in the next year - we broke up and got together several times (but we had to live with each other). At the end of the school year we moved out and decided to break up.

After the summer i met a new girl and tried to have a relationship with her.

But as soon as my ex found that out she started to call me and text me every day and one day i realized i still love her so we got together again. We tried to be together but i was still in pain from the first year so i broke up with her. She was begging me to be with me and i went NC for 3 months but she continued to call me so we got together again. We had ups and downs and i still was hurt and not forgiven and i decided for the second time this wasn't working out so we split again.

Fast forward few months she again contacted me and we got together again. We've been some time together and after a few problems we both decided to split again.

I moved on with my life but after 4 months i realized that i've already forgiven her for what she did and i realized how much i love her and how much i want to be with her.

 

So i began to pursue her, calling, texting and stuff. She continuously refused that we get together again because it was too late , she didn't loved me anymore, she didn't see a future in us anymore etc. But i'm not a quitter and i continued to call and text her and one day she called me and told me that she couldn't escape from the truth. And the truth was she wanted to be with me, she still loved me even more etc.

 

So we got together the last December.

 

 

And this is where the "i ****ed up really bad" part starts...

 

We had ups and downs but, boy, i never really thought about her words in the process.

It was all good for me.

But she told me several times i was selfish, i never listened to her, i never really spend much time with her and so much other things. I ****ed up.

I never really cared for what she was saying to me and i never realized that i'm the problem, i was the problem more than she was.

 

We were together for 8 months straight when the unthinkable happened again.

One night she was acting some kind of strange for me, so i started a fight and ended up accusing her of cheating on me and even insulted her.

In a few days i went to apologize but she told me she didn't love me anymore and do not want to be with me anymore. I tried to talk to her but with no result so i left. She called me in a few minutes asking me to return and when i got there she hugged me, cried and told me she want to be with me. Three weeks it was all fine and then we had another fight and she told me again that she do not love me anymore and stuff.

 

I decided to let her cool off for a few days and went NC. After few days it was her birthday but i did not texted or called her in fear that we would begin to fight again.

 

I went to see her the next day with a present and birthday cake. Firstly she acted very cold. She was not talking to me, not touching me at all and stuff. She asked me why didn't i texted or called her for her birthday. I spent the night with her but she was very rude and when we went to bed she avoided by any means the physical contact with me like i was sick of something. We had a rough night and she even moved to sleep on another bed.

The morning was pretty bad too. We talked a little about us and she told me there was no hope that we will get together again, she didn't loved me and so on....

Somehow i managed my temper and quit fighting with her. So we spent actually very good evening. We went out for a walk. She was not bothered anymore to touch me and to talk to me. We even had sex (funny thing is she said she would have sex with me only if i stop to call and text her after). We spend the night together again but this time it was perfect - she was hugging me while sleeping etc. She even told me to hug her because that's the way she can sleep better. The next day i had to leave. It was a pretty ****ed up situation since i saw the she was sad about it. I asked her why and she told me that because i was leaving and we were separating and maybe will not meet each other again.

I decided to not have a fight with her and i left. I was crying all the way to my home.

I ****ed up again and decided to call her best female friend to ask for help.

She told me that she didn't knew nothing about us and our fights but funny, she started to talk exactly for the problem me and my gf had. She told me that my gf gave me a lot of chances to change and i never changed. She told me that she couldn't help me but i said to her that i feel that me and my gf will be together again. And she told me then that i need to keep hoping and change and this might happen. I do not know why she told me that - just to encourage me or if she actually knew something.

 

Now i am devastated and i just realized all the mistakes i made. And i know now that this "i do not love you" is not true. I think that "i do not love you" means - "i'll just not point out all the mistakes you've made because you need to search them by yourself and change your behavior". I think that she loves me, because if she didn't why would she act normal when i was not fighting her - like all the good time we had, the sex, the cuddling etc.

 

I need advice guys. I know that the first thing i should do is to understand my mistakes and change myself for good. I did that. How can i win her back? How can i show her that i've changed if she told me that she do not want to see me again.

 

Tell me how can i win her back if i still feel that she loves me but she do not want to be with me because i've not changed a bit. I need some seruious advices how can i show her that without her feeling me like a thread.

 

Try to understand me please because i write that a little bit drunk... i drink 3 nights in a row because i'm feeling very depressed and miserable...

[ExpatInItaly]

That dead horse of a relationship? Time to stop beating it...and to move on for good.

[ImSoLostWithoutYou]

I do not agree with that. Tomorrow i'll post more because right now i'm under the influence of alcohol and i can't really type and think sober...

[CalvinM]

Sober up. Quit being such an emotionally unstable pussy. She broke up with you and is sleeping with other people. Why would you even want her back? Better yet, why would she want to spend time with a drunken mess?

 

Move on, get your life back on track so you're in a better position for the next relationship.

[evanescentworld]

1 - Never do, write or say anything while drunk.

 

2 - Never give your soul to anyone who gives nothing in return.

 

3 - Live life for yourself, because nobody else will ever do it for you, even those who love you the most. And nobody will ever do it better.

 

4 - if you did die tomorrow, what would you really LIKE your last thought to be? And if it involves her, you are depriving yourself of the respect you should have for yourself. If you don't have it, why should she have it for you?

[ConfusedHumanBeing]

Your biggest f*** up was taking her back the first time.

 

You guys both seem incredibly insecure and she seems very unstable. Youre getting older now so do you see her being a great wife? Mother? I wouldnt trust her with a library card much less being a responsible adult.

 

Time to cut it loose.

[NC-Thomas]

The trust was already gone the first time, when she Skyped her ex. That is emotional cheating.

 

Once trust is gone its exit.

 

Also her shifting from cold to hot seems like she can't make up her mind. That and another 100 reasons it's not working for you guys.

 

Pick up your balls, put them back where they belong and hit the road jack. You deserve better.

[ImSoLostWithoutYou]

Good morning.

 

First of all yes i know i should've been drinking but i felt like i needed to so i can sleep. Not a very helpful idea because i woke up at 5 a.m. and couldn't sleep any longer.

 

Yes, she cheated on me in the first year and i lost my trust in her back then. Maybe i shouldn't accept her back, i don't know. But i did and she surely made a big effort all the time to gain my trust back and she was an open book in front of me. It was almost me the problem since then because she made her effort in the relationship and made me happy. She was there for me when i needed her, she was supporting me etc. It is my fault now that i did not always do the same stuff for her.

I've gone through all of our conversations for the last 9 months and i was terrified. She was pointin me all the time how she was feeling and what mistakes i've made and i just really don't know why i realize all that just now.

 

So she broke up with me. She told me she do not love me anymore and do not see any future in us and yet she was giving me signs that she still loves me and wants to be with me. In fact she always used this "dump you" strategy for me to realize i should change something in myself.

But this time i ****ed up really bad and i need to change a lot of things.

 

Yes, i see her as my wife and in fact i thought to propose her soon... She is the greatest person i know in the world despite all the ups and downs in our relationship. I want to spend my lifetime loving her and being with her.

 

So i beg you guys to tell me what do you think i should do to show her i could/have changed. I think first of all i need to make a big, big apology that i'm very sorry for what i've done, that i realize it just now and this time i'll take responsibility for all and not blame her for a single thing. Then what?

[lauri]

Just so I understand correctly...she cheated on you and in your mind she is your soulmate and future wife? Oh man...

 

First and foremost, she doesn't love you. Its counter intuitive for a girl to continuously breakup with you, talk to other guys, cheat on you and say "I don't see a future with you" if she was in love. You need to realize that...it makes no sense.

 

Secondly, there is too much bad blood between both of you. Your relationship ended the first time...she just appears to not have the strength to be single / alone and to completely leave you, even though she isn't that into you anymore.

 

Stop for a second about how you feel and start to think about how does she feel? Bc the truth is, I'm the end, it doesn't even matter if you think she's the best girl in the world when she doesn't even want to be with you.

 

Want to know my suggestion to show her you've changed? You delete her number, block her put of your life and move on like you should have the first time.

[ConfusedHumanBeing]

Good morning.

 

First of all yes i know i should've been drinking but i felt like i needed to so i can sleep. Not a very helpful idea because i woke up at 5 a.m. and couldn't sleep any longer.

 

Yes, she cheated on me in the first year and i lost my trust in her back then. Maybe i shouldn't accept her back, i don't know. But i did and she surely made a big effort all the time to gain my trust back and she was an open book in front of me. It was almost me the problem since then because she made her effort in the relationship and made me happy. She was there for me when i needed her, she was supporting me etc. It is my fault now that i did not always do the same stuff for her.

I've gone through all of our conversations for the last 9 months and i was terrified. She was pointin me all the time how she was feeling and what mistakes i've made and i just really don't know why i realize all that just now.

 

So she broke up with me. She told me she do not love me anymore and do not see any future in us and yet she was giving me signs that she still loves me and wants to be with me. In fact she always used this "dump you" strategy for me to realize i should change something in myself.

But this time i ****ed up really bad and i need to change a lot of things.

 

Yes, i see her as my wife and in fact i thought to propose her soon... She is the greatest person i know in the world despite all the ups and downs in our relationship. I want to spend my lifetime loving her and being with her.

 

So i beg you guys to tell me what do you think i should do to show her i could/have changed. I think first of all i need to make a big, big apology that i'm very sorry for what i've done, that i realize it just now and this time i'll take responsibility for all and not blame her for a single thing. Then what?

 

Dude.....

 

First, she is is not stable. The fact you want to make her a wife is scary. She isnt giving you signs for anything other than being co-dependent. She is giving you breadcrumbs galore. You guys broke up numerous times. If she REALLY loved you, she wouldnt have been saying that stuff to her ex a long time ago.

 

You cannot force anyone to see what you want them to see. Its going to repeat the SAME OLD S***. If she REALLY wanted to be with you, she would. This whole "I'm going to break up with you to make you see something wrong" is HIGHLY disfunctional and immature. That concerns me to no end.

 

You want advice and everyone is saying the same thing...you have to let it go. You keep blaming yourself which is dumb because that solves nothing.You just have to open your eyes and realize it's just not working.

[ImSoLostWithoutYou]

LONG POST but please read!!!

 

She did cheat on me and talked to her ex in the first year. We talked a lot about it and she admitted her fault and stuff.

I'm that kind of person that believes in change. I believe anybody could change and she did exactly that - she changed and showed that to me all day every day. She never spoke to another person while she was with me after that.

 

You will be angry at me right now and i'm angry at me too, but i must say something. The last time when we were apart for like 8 months and we both thought it's over she tried to move on with her life and met a new guy but the things between them didn't worked out back then.

And a few months later out of the blue i reached out for her and we began to see each other again. I putted a lot of effort to get her back and eventually i did after a few months. It was perfect - she showed me her love every day, little presents every now and then, we made plans to live together in the near future and stuff.

 

We had to live in different towns for the summer and the distance was killing us because we were used to see each other every day.

 

As i said i've made a lot of mistakes like not listening to her, not supporting her every time she needed, i was a bit selfish though... and one day i made the final mistake to blame her she was cheating on me again (which was actually not true as i found out) but it seemed she had enough of me not changing and she broke up with me.

After that i had the feeling she was seeing that other guy from the past but was not sure.

When we broke up i told her that i'll go to meet her in a couple of days to sort things out in person and not on the phone. She agreed.

 

So i went to her town.

She was very, very cold when we met. She barely spoke to me. I never asked her but she told me "I did not miss you the last days". What the hell? She tells me this even when i was not asking her such thing and i was thinking of this reverse psychology thing and thought (she must have been missed me for saying such stuff). She even got mad why i didn't texted or called her for her birthday which was the day before. I had my reasons though...

So the first day&night was very rough , she barely spoke to me, every time we touched by accident she avoided me like i was sick of something. The next day we had a conversation and she said she do not love me anymore, she do not want to be with me anymore and stuff. I did not believed her because i studied psychology and her actions were completely different. She never looked me in the eye when she told me all of this.

But the afternoon we had was magnificent and it felt like we were still together. We went out for a walk, she was grabbing my hand, she was chatting with me and non of the cold person from the day before existed. She made me lunch and dinner, we watched a movie and she asked me to massage her. But not only her back but the whole body from head to toes. When we went to sleep she asked me that i "pet" her (sorry to not know the word) so she could fall asleep. This "petting" thing is just our thing i did every time to put her to sleep.

 

It was some kind of strange that she was very cold when i first showed up and after that it was like we were together.

 

The next day when needed to come back home she was nervous and sad.

Remember the guy from the past? I accidently saw her to block him on facebook! I asked her what she was doing and she said she blocked some co-workers from her last job. (what the .... ? why would she block him but tell me she blocked some co-workers).

 

 

Anyways after all that and assuming i know her very well... this whole break up thing is just her defensive mechanism. She breaks up with me every time she didn't felt right with me and i needed to change. So i guess this is another break up of that kind, not a final break up. But i can never be sure.

It was some kind of strange for her to act completely normal with me when she told me she did not have feelings for me anymore. I personally could not do such thing with somebody i have no feelings for.

 

I think that i owe her a big apology for all the stuff i did and not realized i've done. I think that if only she could see i mean it and i really can change she would be with me again.

How do i do this...

 

 

I appreciate all of you opinions guys and girls. This is just my first love and i honestly do not know how to let go...

[ConfusedHumanBeing]

LONG POST but please read!!!

 

She did cheat on me and talked to her ex in the first year. We talked a lot about it and she admitted her fault and stuff.

I'm that kind of person that believes in change. I believe anybody could change and she did exactly that - she changed and showed that to me all day every day. She never spoke to another person while she was with me after that.

 

You will be angry at me right now and i'm angry at me too, but i must say something. The last time when we were apart for like 8 months and we both thought it's over she tried to move on with her life and met a new guy but the things between them didn't worked out back then.

And a few months later out of the blue i reached out for her and we began to see each other again. I putted a lot of effort to get her back and eventually i did after a few months. It was perfect - she showed me her love every day, little presents every now and then, we made plans to live together in the near future and stuff.

 

We had to live in different towns for the summer and the distance was killing us because we were used to see each other every day.

 

As i said i've made a lot of mistakes like not listening to her, not supporting her every time she needed, i was a bit selfish though... and one day i made the final mistake to blame her she was cheating on me again (which was actually not true as i found out) but it seemed she had enough of me not changing and she broke up with me.

After that i had the feeling she was seeing that other guy from the past but was not sure.

When we broke up i told her that i'll go to meet her in a couple of days to sort things out in person and not on the phone. She agreed.

 

So i went to her town.

She was very, very cold when we met. She barely spoke to me. I never asked her but she told me "I did not miss you the last days". What the hell? She tells me this even when i was not asking her such thing and i was thinking of this reverse psychology thing and thought (she must have been missed me for saying such stuff). She even got mad why i didn't texted or called her for her birthday which was the day before. I had my reasons though...

So the first day&night was very rough , she barely spoke to me, every time we touched by accident she avoided me like i was sick of something. The next day we had a conversation and she said she do not love me anymore, she do not want to be with me anymore and stuff. I did not believed her because i studied psychology and her actions were completely different. She never looked me in the eye when she told me all of this.

But the afternoon we had was magnificent and it felt like we were still together. We went out for a walk, she was grabbing my hand, she was chatting with me and non of the cold person from the day before existed. She made me lunch and dinner, we watched a movie and she asked me to massage her. But not only her back but the whole body from head to toes. When we went to sleep she asked me that i "pet" her (sorry to not know the word) so she could fall asleep. This "petting" thing is just our thing i did every time to put her to sleep.

 

It was some kind of strange that she was very cold when i first showed up and after that it was like we were together.

 

The next day when needed to come back home she was nervous and sad.

Remember the guy from the past? I accidently saw her to block him on facebook! I asked her what she was doing and she said she blocked some co-workers from her last job. (what the .... ? why would she block him but tell me she blocked some co-workers).

 

 

Anyways after all that and assuming i know her very well... this whole break up thing is just her defensive mechanism. She breaks up with me every time she didn't felt right with me and i needed to change. So i guess this is another break up of that kind, not a final break up. But i can never be sure.

It was some kind of strange for her to act completely normal with me when she told me she did not have feelings for me anymore. I personally could not do such thing with somebody i have no feelings for.

 

I think that i owe her a big apology for all the stuff i did and not realized i've done. I think that if only she could see i mean it and i really can change she would be with me again.

How do i do this...

 

 

I appreciate all of you opinions guys and girls. This is just my first love and i honestly do not know how to let go...

 

I've noticed something very large in this

 

Your self esteem is s***. You keep saying I did this and how we're going to be mad and whatever. We are random strangers I have no reason to be mad.

 

You relate your happiness to her and that's not good. You cannot love yourself unless you've yourself.

 

Again, you want answers that cannot be answered. You can't make someone care. You cannot make someone see something. SHE has to.

 

Your only option is to back off. Sucks, but thats that.

[W101]

Your beating yourself up over this and thinking far too much into it, how was you supposed to know how you should be, act and feel?, sounds like you couldn't find your arse with both hands or walk down any of the right pathways with this person, nobody is perfect, and nobody should have to live up to the ideals of somebody else, if you feel the need for change, go ahead, have at it boss, so long as it's you doing the changing and bettering yourself for you, you can't change the past, it's already happened, so stop thinking about it already, most relationships don't work out because people always expect, want and demand better, there the kind of relationships you don't want to work out, I'll bet before this person came along, you was mostly comfortable in your own skin.

 

In my opinion, she comes across like as a liar with something to hide, this is a big mess, you clearly don't trust her, and clearly she's a bit mean for not sparing your feelings a little, she doesn't seem all that great at all, inevitably this won't last and you'll move on to somebody else eventually, why not spare yourself your self respect and have some dignity by walking away right now?.

[HeartDesires]

This is just my first love and i honestly do not know how to let go...

 

You sound petrified...you're really scared that this is the end, aren't you?

 

First love breakups are the worst...and I believe you when you say you don't know how to let go.

 

Because you are so inexperienced, you don't realize you had a very unhealthy relationship, you have nothing to compare it to.

 

I sense that all the great advice you are receiving here is falling on deaf ears...you are incapable of listening to reason.

 

To be honest, I don't think anyone here can help you...you are going to have to just live and learn.

[ImSoLostWithoutYou]

Don't get me wrong.

 

I maybe want to be with her by any means. But the fact that somebody here tells me i'll be better off, i'll find somebody better is a little bit helping. Because if none of that ever happened, how could somebody tells me that i would be better off without her?

 

This gives me a little hope and a little light at the end of the tunnel.

 

The best i can figure out right now is to give her some time to heal from our most recent fights. I know that everybody is affected after a fight and do not think sober. Even i'm not doing it right now. But eventually the things settle down and you forget the fight and you start to miss the good times.

I should and give her a little time then i have a present for her birthday from my mother (they two were really close because she had her mommy issues and i felt like she was feeling my mother like her own) and i should give it to her. She have to agree. So i must apologize for all the stuff i did to her not to excuse myself only but to apologize her! I think that when you admit your faults you're on the way to change yourself for good, right?

 

So i'll let her be, then apologize and after some time i'll try to reach out for her. If she let me to, then this is a good sign. If she don't - then i must listen to you and move on...

 

Am i on the right track?

 

 

P.S. I don't know why, but these days we spent together she told me that i came to her to BREAK UP with her!? I asked how the hell could i break up with her when she already did it? She told me "Fine, i broke up with you, this will make you more desired to the other women". It's funny because we red a thing before that said it's better for a man to be left and not that he leaves somebody.

So i'm actually pretty WTF still of what she said "you came here to break up with me..." .... ?!?

Edited August 31, 2014 by ImSoLostWithoutYou

[W101]

The right track isn't scheming and making plans to get her back and show her your Mr nice, women see through all of that, if you decide no matter what that she is the person you want to be with, then... stick at it, if confessing all your faults and mistakes to her will make you feel better, then do it, but be prepared for knock on effects, change really is something that can take years, it's not enough to look at your faults at certain moments, you have to redesign the whole blueprint of your mind, I'd suggest monitoring your behaviour, thought patterns and how you react to her when she plays on your nerves, personally,I'd never accept somebody who couldn't accept me, but that's just me.

[ConfusedHumanBeing]

Don't get me wrong.

 

I maybe want to be with her by any means. But the fact that somebody here tells me i'll be better off, i'll find somebody better is a little bit helping. Because if none of that ever happened, how could somebody tells me that i would be better off without her?

 

This gives me a little hope and a little light at the end of the tunnel.

 

The best i can figure out right now is to give her some time to heal from our most recent fights. I know that everybody is affected after a fight and do not think sober. Even i'm not doing it right now. But eventually the things settle down and you forget the fight and you start to miss the good times.

I should and give her a little time then i have a present for her birthday from my mother (they two were really close because she had her mommy issues and i felt like she was feeling my mother like her own) and i should give it to her. She have to agree. So i must apologize for all the stuff i did to her not to excuse myself only but to apologize her! I think that when you admit your faults you're on the way to change yourself for good, right?

 

So i'll let her be, then apologize and after some time i'll try to reach out for her. If she let me to, then this is a good sign. If she don't - then i must listen to you and move on...

 

Am i on the right track?

 

 

P.S. I don't know why, but these days we spent together she told me that i came to her to BREAK UP with her!? I asked how the hell could i break up with her when she already did it? She told me "Fine, i broke up with you, this will make you more desired to the other women". It's funny because we red a thing before that said it's better for a man to be left and not that he leaves somebody.

So i'm actually pretty WTF still of what she said "you came here to break up with me..." .... ?!?

 

No you are not on the right track.

 

Your only track right now is her her her. You are using every excuse to try and get her to see you. Not smart. YOU NEED TO STOP TALKING TO HER. Just because you give her time doesn't mean she will magically change her mind and miss you. If I had to bet, I'd say there is someone else involved. A quick hot and cold change is usually a good indicator. Whether OR not that is the case doesnt.matter. What matters is you healing. A SUCCESSFUL reconciliation happens when both parties have taken time apart and become two almost completely different people. The fact you guys have had this on and off thing for a long time doesnt bode well.

 

You have to take it at face value. She said she is done and doesn't love you anymore. She keeps giving you hints to leave her alone, so do just that.

[ImSoLostWithoutYou]

So how can you call that she is still sleeping with my T-shirt i gave her when we got together? All of my presents for her are still there and not boxed somewhere.

 

I say that because she is pretty do or don't person. If she does something she does it fully i mean if she decide not to be with me she will throw out all of my stuff etc.

 

And every single time we've been separated she always told me the same stuff - she didn't love me anymore, blah blah blah...

Edited August 31, 2014 by ImSoLostWithoutYou

[veggirl]

How old are you guys? Your relationship is dramatic and immature and super unhealthy.

 

Don't you want peace? A relationship that doesn't consist of make ups, break ups and cheating? You WILL NOT find that with this girl, the foundation for you two has been SET and it's a crappy one. You have no future of a healthy relationship with this girl.

[Zoe Lilith]

What I've noticed is that, every time you guys fight, you apologise to her, she won't hear you out, you go home crying and/or upset, but then she calls you and you run back to her like her puppet so that she can manipulate you all over again! Soulmate doesn't do that. You're in love, people fall in and out of love. I wouldn't say you guys are soulmates, fiding a soulmate is deeper and bigger then being in love, I would imagine. Stay NC, work on your self esteem and move on. You deserve better. Good luck.

[ImSoLostWithoutYou]

Maybe you are right... Maybe i deserve something better. But still i need for one last try before the closure.

If you are right about it all does her "end" means end or it is just some kind of trick before we get together again?

[ConfusedHumanBeing]

Maybe you are right i deserve something better. But still i need one last try before the closure.

If you are right always all does her "end" means end or it is just someand kicirtrick before we get together again?

 

No you dont need one last try. That makes you look incredibly weak and someone she doesnt respect. In fact, that's probably a huge reason why you two always play this breakup game. You keep apolgizing and coming back. She KNOWS youll always be there. She can leave 100 times and you'll come back everytime.

 

Wearing pajamas and keeping presents dont mean a lot. Im wearing a sweater as I type this from a GF I had 8 years ago who is married and has two kids lol. You have got to stop with this man. At some point, the cycle has to stop.

[ImSoLostWithoutYou]

Thank you for the positive comment!

I know this has to stop, God i know it! It hurts so much that i know it now... But i feel that i need one last try.

 

Anyways i plan on going to the gym and jog, i need to break my comfort zone and start doing something new. In fact maybe i'll sign to a Kudo course (i am peaceful guy but i need to get out of the comfort zone, right?) and i'll start to improve myself. This is for me. If she come back, OK, if not i hope that when i feel good with myself i'll attract other women in my life... right?

[ConfusedHumanBeing]

Thank you for the positive comment!

I know this has to stop, God i know it! It hurts so much that i know it now... But i feel that i need one last try.

 

Anyways i plan on going to the gym and jog, i need to break my comfort zone and start doing something new. In fact maybe i'll sign to a Kudo course (i am peaceful guy but i need to get out of the comfort zone, right?) and i'll start to improve myself. This is for me. If she come back, OK, if not i hope that when i feel good with myself i'll attract other women in my life... right?

 

Heyyyyy THERE WE GO! That last paragraph at least.

 

It takes time. You'll be fine. You have done that "one last try" several times, and youre still in t this spot.

 

Just keep at it.

[ImSoLostWithoutYou]

The only thing that keeps bothering me is the mistakes i made. I keep wondering what if i've done everything right? This is why i need that last try to do my best and if even then we break up again, then i'll know for sure it's over...