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Social Media & Breakups


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Feelbettersoon

We all know how much social media sucks during a breakup. Seeing their updates you don't want to know. Or removing them and seein the hundreds of mutal friends updates that still hurt when the ex is involved. Sometimes it's unavoidable and since social media is growing each day we can't runs way forever. Many people don't want to completely take down their profile as you can miss out too.

 

For my university it's nessasary to use FB as we have a private group where everything is organised and even teachers use it. I find myself logging in for 3 seconds with my eyes squinted incase something I don't want to see pops up.

 

Do you believe that sites such as Fb and instagram have killed more relationships? It makes people think that their lives are unfufilled by seeing others updates? That they wish they had a bf/gf taking them away on trips at the weekend? Or they see they're other half talking to the same girl every week and get jealous? Does it promote people in relationships to emotionally cheat because someone attractive posts pictures having fun all the time and they wish their other half was like that?

 

What does everyone think?

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starryeyedsurprise

You have to stay off, as hard as it is. Do your best to ignore anything that has to do with your ex. It's easy to slip and peak, but than you pay the price after and it adds salt to your wounds. Log on less, and don't search for anything. Just do what you need to do.

 

I found out yesterday that the guy I dated for 6 weeks was talking bad about me in FB. I didn't even do anything wrong, but he is calling me names for no reason other than he is a immature, and we are in our late 30's. It hurt, I won't lie. This is why I hate social media, to easy to see what others are doing.

 

Just focus on you, stay off social media for a while, you will survive ;-)

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starryeyedsurprise

Oh, and I have first hand seen social media break up many, many relationships, or cause fights about stupid things, new friends, status, likes, etc. It's plain retarded if you ask me.

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Feelbettersoon
Oh, and I have first hand seen social media break up many, many relationships, or cause fights about stupid things, new friends, status, likes, etc. It's plain retarded if you ask me.

 

Me too. I used to be friends with a guy who wasn't allowed accept girls, like any pictures and if he his gf would go insane.

 

I feel it's another stress adding to breakups, 50 years ago people spoke, to each other in person.

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starryeyedsurprise

Very true, I won't even friend someone I am dating on FB. I learned my lesson with the last guy I dated. I went to bed on Friday night and 8 hours later, he had 15 new friends who were all girls. I immediately de-friended him, it put to many ideas in my head no matter how harmless they might have been. This is the same guy who is now talking bad about me.

 

yes, back in the day there were no phones, texts, emails, FB, etc. you either had to show up at their house or write a letter, I bet is was easier to break up with someone back than.

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Feelbettersoon
Very true, I won't even friend someone I am dating on FB. I learned my lesson with the last guy I dated. I went to bed on Friday night and 8 hours later, he had 15 new friends who were all girls. I immediately de-friended him, it put to many ideas in my head no matter how harmless they might have been. This is the same guy who is now talking bad about me.

 

yes, back in the day there were no phones, texts, emails, FB, etc. you either had to show up at their house or write a letter, I bet is was easier to break up with someone back than.

 

Yikes! Yes I will look at it differently now. My ex had added 14 plus girls before I had to delete him, whether their randomers, friends or new flings I couldn't deal

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CommanderMadi

To be honest, social media is a double-edged weapon. It can really help you getting to know more people and even may help you form and maintain an LDR and on the other end, it can really make your relationship worse off.

 

I'm a kind of a person that comes from a somehow conservative society where boys are kind of responsible totally for their girls in all matters. For example, you can't live with your girl here unless both your parents really accept it and that is rare, you can't make your fiancee or wife pay utility bills or phone ones except if you are really out of money.

 

The same goes for social media, boys tend to instruct their girls not to ever flirt or upload their pictures on Facebook as there are many harassers and bullies that would take such pictures and create fake account with them and many other problems. So in here, we are better safe than sorry.

 

However, for what you ask, you can easily control yourself and not login to Facebook to see immature status updates from ex or her mutual friends. I thought before I'd never be able to log off Facebook for a complete day but I was practically able to stay away from all social media networks (Facebook, twitter, instagram, whatsapp) for 50 days without even a single try to login. I felt much better to be honest but I was also happy that I knew who are my real friends that picked up their phones or even came to my house to ask where I had gone. That helped me know who really loves me and who just is an "electronic" friend.

 

My regards

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It definitely sucks. lol RSs were less complicated & a lot easier before social media, for sure.

 

I think it makes me more self conscience and I even get kind of jealous when I see the guy I'm with liking pictures of other attractive girls.

 

It's so stupid and I really hate to admit that I have felt that way in the past.

 

Now that I have been single for over a year and my ex has long been removed from my FB, there are zero threats on social media for me. (-=

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I couldn't say social media is to blame for everything but sadly in my experience, from the time sites like facebook and instagram boomed (2007 to now), I've been involved with four people... two of them were completely reluctant to even have a facebook and the other two were on every existing network out there. My relationships with them ended badly and it was very very hard to move on and I continued to look at their social media way after the relationships had ended. It's always been difficult for me to trust people and social media makes this harder for me as you have to see them post a picture and see their exes like it and have quick exchanges with them or just comment... it just makes the process of getting to know someone and trust that person slower and more difficult... it's not impossible by any means but it can be exhausting.

 

In comparison, my relationships with the men that weren't anywhere on the internet had a clean and dignified end.

 

Based on that, although I wouldn't say being obsessed with social media is a dealbreaker for me, it certainly makes me lose a bit of interest because I know the extra amount of energy that comes with it when you're trying to have a healthy relationship, you basically have everyone under one roof (people from work, family, parties, past, present, future, etc)... it's a bit too much.

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Feelbettersoon

 

I think it makes me more self conscience and I even get kind of jealous when I see the guy I'm with liking pictures of other attractive girls.

 

It's so stupid and I really hate to admit that I have felt that way in the past.

=

 

Me too!!! This happened a lot, do you think guys do that out of innocence, or do they wish they were with women like that? I hope to understand some day

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Back when I was in a relationship, I didn't really pay much attention to social media, as I really only used it to keep in touch with friends. My ex wasn't really active, so I didn't keep tabs on him. I figured that it wasn't worth obsessing over, and I didn't need to worry about other women trying to poach "my man".

 

Lo and behold, things got rough between us. He started acting weird, and I didn't get it until he broke up with me and got with some girl a couple weeks later. Surprise, surprise, he be-friended her on facebook around the time he started acting weird. He was definitely having an emotional affair with her.

 

Facebook was so helpful in helping me find that stufff out, but it doesn't matter because it really hurt more to see what he was up to. Anyway. Facebook is the devil. It is whatever you want to show the world, so of course you only show your best. It is too often lies.

 

Don't bother with it, in or out of relationships.

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Me too!!! This happened a lot, do you think guys do that out of innocence, or do they wish they were with women like that? I hope to understand some day

 

It depends on the guy, really. BUT guys are visual creatures so if they're liking another girl's picture it's because their picture aroused them. Like, "damn she's hot." That's the only reason a guy would like a girl's picture...to let them know "hey, I'd f*#k you."

 

And we as women are mostly the same way too. We just tend to know better than to do something like that for the sake of not offending our fellas. Not all of us though, unfortunately.

 

I can count on one hand how many times I have liked a guy's picture that wasn't a boyfriend of mine.

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