br0kenheArt Posted August 23, 2014 Share Posted August 23, 2014 Any stories of people who were able to get back together with an ex? Link to post Share on other sites
HeartbrokenNewbie Posted August 23, 2014 Share Posted August 23, 2014 PLEASE do yourself, your self respect and your dignity the biggest favour in the world right now and forget about any chance of reconciling... get on with your life and dont look back... what are you doing now is simply wasting YOUR life writing this while your ex is out living THEIR life... do you want to be a loser or a winner... because winners keep going... IF they come back then they come back but dont you put your life on hold trying to find a way to glue the pieces back together of something that is broken and will NEVER be the same.. please dont do what I done... there is nothing more attractive than someone that is strong, independent and focused on their life... which one are you going to be? x 1 Link to post Share on other sites
gamma2 Posted August 23, 2014 Share Posted August 23, 2014 Not so fast. Yes, it is possible to reconcile. I am one of the living examples for it. I have been together with my girl for 13 years. She broke up with me twice, and I managed to come back and keep the relationship going. The first time I could show her how much I've changed for the better, the second time her rebound broke up with her. Don't belive the short-term thinking no-sayers. If you belive in it, if you get yourself together and fight for it, you always have a chance. Life always finds a way. Link to post Share on other sites
Natsu21 Posted August 23, 2014 Share Posted August 23, 2014 Not so fast. Yes, it is possible to reconcile. I am one of the living examples for it. I have been together with my girl for 13 years. She broke up with me twice, and I managed to come back and keep the relationship going. The first time I could show her how much I've changed for the better, the second time her rebound broke up with her. Don't belive the short-term thinking no-sayers. If you belive in it, if you get yourself together and fight for it, you always have a chance. Life always finds a way. You're the exception, not the rule. There are far too many stories that suggest that getting back with an ex is a bad idea. Trying to be the exception is what makes people the rule. Go with your gut, not what your heart is saying. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
FortunateSon Posted August 23, 2014 Share Posted August 23, 2014 I have reconciled with two different long term exes. Both times the reconciliations failed after a year and a half because of the same incompatible patterns that lead to the initial break ups. In the end, I atleast knew that I did everything in my power to make things works and made changes they asked for, neither of them made any long term efforts to change or compromise as time went on, leading to the enevitable break ups. In both instances things were never the "same" again after getting back together, I am now convinced when you break up, it's over...you can't go home again. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
HeartbrokenNewbie Posted August 23, 2014 Share Posted August 23, 2014 I have reconciled with two different long term exes. Both times the reconciliations failed after a year and a half because of the same incompatible patterns that lead to the initial break ups. In the end, I atleast knew that I did everything in my power to make things works and made changes they asked for, neither of them made any long term efforts to change or compromise as time went on, leading to the enevitable break ups. In both instances things were never the "same" again after getting back together, I am now convinced when you break up, it's over...you can't go home again. I totally agree but I wouldnt have done after my break up... I still thought it could all be fixed and be the same... Now I know it never would be.. how can you live everyday with the person that has proved before they would break your heart in a second... you would never fully trust they wouldnt do it again x 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted August 23, 2014 Share Posted August 23, 2014 Sure it happens. My sister married a man she was broken up with for a year (he broke up with her) and my buddy married a woman who he was broken up with for 6-7 months (he broke up with her). I've had exes that have broken up with me attempt to come back. But in the two successful ones, all parties accepted the breakup, had significant time apart and reconciled when the dumper went above and beyond the call of duty to try again with the dumpee. Getting stories for "hope" just leaves you stuck in the muck, and you won't reconcile successfully if you stay in the muck. As Natsu said, looking to be the exception guarantees you to be the rule. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
HeartbrokenNewbie Posted August 23, 2014 Share Posted August 23, 2014 Thanks for reporting my post as offensive... I did not character assassinate you in anyway... I went into a pet shop the other day there were 2 hamsters in a cage I liked them both but I preferred the Syrian hamster but as the assistant opened the cage the Syrian ran away so I took the one that was left... it was my second choice.. Maybe that explains it better.. Im sorry if I caused you any offense it was not meant like that at all. Link to post Share on other sites
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted August 23, 2014 Share Posted August 23, 2014 Any stories of people who were able to get back together with an ex? No. When you break up, NO ONE wants you after that and you die alone. RIP Link to post Share on other sites
Natsu21 Posted August 24, 2014 Share Posted August 24, 2014 No. When you break up, NO ONE wants you after that and you die alone. RIP I lol'd so hard at this comment. But I get it. The better question is, are you so desperate and unattractive that you would consider getting back with someone that didn't want you at one point? That speaks volumes for the respect he or she must totally give you! Link to post Share on other sites
The dot Posted August 24, 2014 Share Posted August 24, 2014 I've known people who got back together in those circumstances, but none that actually *stayed* together. Usually by then there's been too much water under the bridge, so to speak. The old issues, arguments and incompatibilities that caused the relationship to fail the first time usually come to the surface again before too long. To be honest, I think the only reasons people bother getting back together are fear and laziness. Having to go out, meet new people and ultimately share intimate details about yourself is scary for a lot of people. Often, I think people just decide that it's easier and somehow "safer" to just go over turf they've already ploughed and stick with the situation they know, no matter how bad it was. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Sweetcheripie Posted August 25, 2014 Share Posted August 25, 2014 I have friends that were married, had 2 children. He had issues and was an alcoholic. They divorced. She really shined, got her Master's and a fantastic job. He stopped drinking and found a great men's support group. The kids were in Little League and both parents were on the Board. They worked together and decided they loved each other and remarried. I give it 5 years at the most. Link to post Share on other sites
leavesonautumn Posted August 25, 2014 Share Posted August 25, 2014 Yes and it turned into 4 years of on/off hell. Trust me, in most cases you do not want to get back together with an ex. Something is usually lost or broken and there is no way to fix it. Don't hold on to hope of being with anyone. Work on yourself and be the best person you can be without holding on to anything or anyone. Link to post Share on other sites
kiss_andmakeup Posted August 25, 2014 Share Posted August 25, 2014 I did. We are getting married in a few months. I don't feel like typing the entire story again, but here's the thread I started about it: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/second-chances/395148-update-ex-no-longer-ex However, it's important to note that as a previous poster said, stories like mine are definitely the exception and not the rule. It's also important to realize that there is nothing *YOU* can do to "get" your ex back. All I did was move on with my life - I went NC and even dated others - but I didn't do it with the intent to get him back. I did it because I thought we were done for good and it was the only way I could heal. He came back into my life on his own accord. This is the only way it can be done healthily. There is no point in trying to manipulate someone back into your life. Not only will it likely not work, it will probably make them think even less of you than they already do. Link to post Share on other sites
bubbaganoosh Posted August 25, 2014 Share Posted August 25, 2014 I got back with an ex from 40 years ago. A phone call became two and then more. Then she invites me to come visit her and actually sent me a airplane ticket and I went back to my hometown and spent a week with her. All was well and I had fun. Then she asks me to movie back and get back together and I did. Now maybe it's just that I'm old and as we get older we mellow out a bit. Well what I found out was after a while I remembered all the things that she did that drove me crazy when I was younger and they were still there but this time her vices were now habits and when you get older, your habits become more steely than ever and the long and the short of it is that after 9 months, I bailed big time. The more things change, the more they remain the same. Link to post Share on other sites
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