Takataka Posted August 22, 2014 Share Posted August 22, 2014 Not sure which forum to use so I used this. I've been dating my boyfriend on and off for over a year. I recently bumped into my ex and we both agree a meet up and catch up is in order. He said he's been super busy at work, but will have to sneak behind his girlfriends back because "she's untrusting with things like his ex and a pain in the butt with people." We've been broken up for a year and a half and dated for 4 years. I'm pretty excited and really hope this happens. Is this bad? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Takataka Posted August 22, 2014 Author Share Posted August 22, 2014 My boyfriend knows. And when I say "bumped into" I mean I was pulling out of a gas station as he was pulling in and he texted me "nice jeep" and we started talking here and there Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted August 22, 2014 Share Posted August 22, 2014 Why are you pretty excited? If my gf was meeting her ex and said she was "pretty excited" then I'd be a bit worried. Did you ask your bf if he wanted to come along? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Takataka Posted August 22, 2014 Author Share Posted August 22, 2014 Honestly, no idea. Just curious I guess. We've both heard a few things about eachother through the grapevine and it seems we've both had an equally difficult year. I guess just to hear his stories and tell mine. I did not offer my boyfriend to come along, but I would if his girlfriend were to come along. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Takataka Posted August 22, 2014 Author Share Posted August 22, 2014 Anything else? Pointless thread? Anyone think it'll really happen? Link to post Share on other sites
BroknHrt Posted August 22, 2014 Share Posted August 22, 2014 It might, but understand the intentions of meeting up first. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Takataka Posted August 22, 2014 Author Share Posted August 22, 2014 I believe I do Link to post Share on other sites
marcjb Posted August 22, 2014 Share Posted August 22, 2014 OP, do you normally play with fire? No good will come of this. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Takataka Posted August 22, 2014 Author Share Posted August 22, 2014 Ehhhh if you'd call it that but why? In my mind it'll be closure. We dated for four years and all down the drain through text because "we were at different parts of our life" Link to post Share on other sites
Author Takataka Posted August 22, 2014 Author Share Posted August 22, 2014 Much more complicated than that but that's the jist Link to post Share on other sites
Author Takataka Posted August 22, 2014 Author Share Posted August 22, 2014 He did say "I always want to be a part of your life but I can't now" Link to post Share on other sites
marcjb Posted August 22, 2014 Share Posted August 22, 2014 (edited) You are currently in a new relationship. You will not get any kind of "closure" by meeting up with your ex. The fact that you are excited and would even meet up with him means you are at the very least not over him sub-consciously. You want to invite your past into the present? Well all it's going to do is screw the present and the future up. If you don't want to believe it, then just wait and see. Your next thread will be asking "Why did my boyfriend dump me?". Edited August 22, 2014 by marcjb Link to post Share on other sites
Author Takataka Posted August 22, 2014 Author Share Posted August 22, 2014 I think I have a fantasy in my head that something will happen. He didn't have good things to say about his gf. I guess I just surpressed feelings too well. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Takataka Posted August 22, 2014 Author Share Posted August 22, 2014 Hello more adivce Link to post Share on other sites
lauri Posted August 22, 2014 Share Posted August 22, 2014 This guy sounds like a keeper (not)!!! Doing it behind his girlfriends back? Why are you even bothering doing something like this? I can tell you now that this guy isn't worth your time based off of the little information you have given me. Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted August 22, 2014 Share Posted August 22, 2014 This sounds extremely foolish. Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted August 22, 2014 Share Posted August 22, 2014 (edited) We dated for four years and all down the drain through text because "we were at different parts of our life" You dated for 4 years and he discarded you like yesterdays newspaper? And you're getting excited over seeing him again? You need closure? The way he dumped you should have been enough closure for you. I'm baffled. And what sort of douchebag clown has the audacity to say that he has to sneak behind his girlfriend's back? Instead of providing her security and loyalty, he doesn't seem to care to prioritize her feelings (seems like a pattern) because he's suddenly excited over another woman paying him some attention. You're playing with fire. And I wonder what your boyfriend would say if you told him you are excited about meeting the ex. I bet his reaction would be far different than being agreeable. Edited August 22, 2014 by Zahara 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Takataka Posted August 22, 2014 Author Share Posted August 22, 2014 I guess I live on the edge Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted August 22, 2014 Share Posted August 22, 2014 I guess I live on the edge Not at the expense of disrespecting your boyfriend and your ex's girlfriend. It's called boundaries. If you want to live on the edge and crash and burn, do that on your own time. Just don't drag innocent people along with you. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted August 22, 2014 Share Posted August 22, 2014 I guess I live on the edge This isn't living on the edge -- it's weak and codependent. It's the opposite of edgy. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Oberfeldwebel Posted August 22, 2014 Share Posted August 22, 2014 Sounds to me like both of you are wanting to spark an old flame. You want him to see that he messed up and ask to start anew. Since you are not married, you can date who you wish. Just be up front with your "boyfriend" before you start up your relationship with your ex. However, there is a reason why we all have ex's, the chance of it working out this time aren't that good, but hey if that is what you want, go for it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Requiem4Dreams Posted August 22, 2014 Share Posted August 22, 2014 Ehhhh if you'd call it that but why? In my mind it'll be closure. Closure comes from within. It's not a gift that can be received in a box all nice and giftwrapped. Things ended for a reason,, and that reason will still exist now. People have the capacity to change sure, but that doesn't mean they always do. If there is any semblance of wishing to get back together with your ex and it's a mutual feeling be damned sure you tell your current boyfriend. Otherwise he'll be posting here next. I know I sound bitter, but it's this sneaking around that ultimately puts people into a position where they are faced with a choice that could lead to them compromising themselves. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Takataka Posted August 22, 2014 Author Share Posted August 22, 2014 His gf disrespected me first because she was a good friend of mine, although I know that was disresceptful of him as well. I know people don't change but now we're 22 years old, started dating when we were 17. I'm not disrespecting my bf because he knows. And I don't know what "you're codependant so your not edgy" comment has to do with any of this. Link to post Share on other sites
Requiem4Dreams Posted August 22, 2014 Share Posted August 22, 2014 I'm not disrespecting my bf because he knows You're disrespecting your boyfriend by meeting up with an ex, and being excited about it. Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted August 23, 2014 Share Posted August 23, 2014 His gf disrespected me first because she was a good friend of mine, although I know that was disresceptful of him as well. I know people don't change but now we're 22 years old, started dating when we were 17. I'm not disrespecting my bf because he knows. And I don't know what "you're codependant so your not edgy" comment has to do with any of this. You were trying to make yourself sound like a badass when your actions indicate that you are anything but. That's where that comment comes from. Being giddy over an ex-boyfriend that did you dirty makes you like the opposite of "living on the edge". Link to post Share on other sites
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