Should you unfriend your ex's family and friends on Facebook?

[br0kenheArt]

Should you unfriend your ex's family and friends on Facebook?

[Zapbasket]

Should you unfriend your ex's family and friends on Facebook?

 

There is no one, universal rule. You do what feels right for you. I tend to vote for leaving them as friends, but unfollowing them. That way, once your feelings settle, if you still care for them you still have the connection, superficial as it is.

 

The main thing to keep in mind is that everything Facebook is superficial. Just because you're Facebook "friends," doesn't mean you have an actual connection. So I'd recommend striving to settle what kind of ACTUAL connection you have / want to have way down the line with your ex's family and friends, and then what connection you have on FB really won't matter...not that it ever did, anyway ;-)

[Kid_Charlemange]

Should you unfriend your ex's family and friends on Facebook?

 

I did. But only because the breakup was so ugly.

 

Unfortunately, my ex and I had dozens of mutual friends. My rule was, if it's someone I met solely through her, they got the axe.

 

Most of my friends unfriended my ex when they found out what she'd done.

 

It's not the cleanest, but it works. It's a shame, because I really liked just about everyone I met through her, and I got along fantastically with her family. She's blocked me on FB now, so it would be very awkward to have any contact with them now.

[Art_Critic]

I'm friends on FB with my stepdaughter from a previous marriage but no friends of the ExW or other family, not that I would have a problem with it if they sent a request but I can't imagine why they would, if they were on my FB today and not involved in my life I would unfriend them.

[SoThatHappened]

I would maybe just tell them that you don't want to stumble upon what he's up to through their accounts.

 

Tell them that you just need to heal, and that seeing pictures of him will set you back.

 

I think you should do that, be honest with them, and then block them.

 

This is for you to heal. If you don't block them, you may find it tempting to keep checking their accounts for updates of him. If you do that, you may see something you don't want to see, which will hurt... believe me.

[FortunateSon]

I wanted complete NC, I blocked my ex, I unfriended her family and anyone that I met through her. I never cared much for her family or friends so that was no big loss for me. My ex met a lot more people through me than I did through her, she tried to stay "friends" with some of my friends, even to the point of trying to re-add them as friends after she was unfriended by them.

[d0nnivain]

It is probably one of the healthiest choices you can make.

[me85]

I just leave it up to them if they want to delete me. After my BU I made it to where they couldn't see my posts and I couldn't see theirs on my news feed.

 

At first this is something major to consider...at first. Then it becomes a non issue. It did for me anyway. I felt like, they added me and it's their son, brother, best friend, friend, cousin...it's up to them if they want to delete me.

[Always Pondering]

I wasn't really that close to her friends as my moral compass clashed with theirs so it was a fairly easy decision to make. I'm sure they understand why I made that decision and if they don't, oh well it doesn't really matter to me.

 

Two of them have asked me what happened later in life and I explained it to them. They were understanding about it and we haven't talked since.

 

So yes, in most cases you should do it.

[mightycpa]

I don't know. A lot of that depends on you and your relationship with them. Some families can have an independent relationship, some can't. STH wisely points out that if you keep them, pictures and posts will invade your life when they might set you back.

 

That said, I really liked my ex's father. He and I would run into each other every so often, and even though he started talking about the ex the first time I saw him, he listened when I explained I couldn't hear about it, and he honored my request every time I saw him after, and we talked about other things. I never heard about her again, and he never invited me over to see her again. I think he would have loved to see us together again, but he understood and respected my wishes on that subject. I really liked him a lot.

 

I would have loved to stay in touch, but I didn't. It is a mild regret, not that big a deal, but it would have been nice.

 

I think I'm with STH on this one. Liked.

[greenfairie]

I had to unfriend his entire family like his sisters, it was too difficult for me to see Thanksgiving/Christmas posts.

I still do follow his sister in law on IG, it's lovely now for me to see her daughter (his niece) who I have known since birth.

 

We have LOTS of mutual friends, so I see him every now and then in friend's posts. In the beginning, it was so difficult I couldnt delete my friends though. so instead what I did was, deactivate my accounts or just STAY away from social media... Take care of myself until my heart is healed. It gets easier, trust me. I saw him in person a few months ago, and I got total clarity that time really does heal pain.

[lauri]

Even though I respected and really loved my ex's family, I decided for my own benefit and protection of my feelings, it was best to cut them out and move on. I'd rather stop worrying about keeping a connection with people who will no longer be apart of my future. With that said, My breakup was nasty and I did get hurt pretty bad, which makes me believe cutting them off was much easier this way.

 

My suggestion is who cares what they think. They aren't apart of your life anymore, so do what is best for you.

[erklat]

Yeah, I agree you should do what feels best for

Your self preservation. My last ltr ex kept in contact with

my family, but I haven't kept with hers at that moment.

 

Cut them out if it feels better for you. No one will judge you for that.

[BC1980]

I would just do what you can live with. I would unfollow them at least because I think it would be too hard, especially in the beginning, to see posts that could hurt you. The family probably doesn't think as much if it as you, but you can explain to the closer ones if you decide to unfriend. I'm sure they would understand.

[Raena]

I stayed friends with all of my exes family, his son, cousins, aunts, ex-wife etc, but I unfriended and blocked him in the beginning when it was very painful. I was never friends with his friends anyway, they weren't people I got along very well with so that wasn't an issue.

 

Several months later I'm glad I didn't just unfriend his family. They are my son's family too so I like to update them on how he's doing. It does get a little weird when his cousin keeps asking me to come out to their state and stay with her for a bit. I like her a lot but I think that would be strange.

 

I made my decision because we had a child together. If we didn't, I probably wouldn't haven't remained friends with his family either.

 

Sometimes it's just best to cut the cord and let it be.

[Jmk21]

I did after about six months. I was tired of the random texts from my ex about pics I've uploaded to FB of pics I was tagged in. So I dropped every damn one of them and haven't heard anything since.

[Wings Of Love]

I had to. Originally I just unfollowed them, but kept them as friends. But when I got a message from my ex talking about something he could not possibly have seen from his own account, I guessed he was keeping an eye on me through family. That really irritated me, so I had to unfriend them all for my own peace of mind.

 

The weight that lifted after that was amazing. If you're comfortable with them seeing what you post then by all means keep them. But if it makes you feel uncomfortable then I would recommend removing them. Do what you feel is right for you.

[Ordinaryday]

if you only met them through your ex and had no association with them outside of your ex then I say unfriend them.

 

if they are a longterm friend of yours who happened to know your ex as well, then keep them.