Jump to content

Getting Over 5 Year Girlfriend Dumping Me


Recommended Posts

Hey everybody. This is my first post on here. I will try to keep it short, but will probably end up being long due to having so much to say haha. I would really appreciate some advice!!

 

Almost 2 months ago, my GF of over 5 years dumped me out of no where through text message. She was the girl I thought I would marry in a couple of years, and have kids with, and considered her my best friend. She constantly told me how much she loved me, and how I was her best friend too.

 

We graduated college 1.5 years ago. Since then, we have both been living at home to save money, and figure out what we both want to go back to school for. I have since decided I am going to go back for my Master's in Accounting in the Fall. We lived just an hour away from each other, but she complained about how she "grew apart" from me, and "didn't even miss me anymore." We saw each other probably 8-10 days a month. We were planning on moving in together finally this fall, but I honestly thought not seeing each other all the time kept things fresh. Anyways, she let us knowing what we want to do with our lives at 24 years old ruin our relationship, and it really bothers me.

 

More than anything, the way she ended things is what is affecting me too. She was at my house one night, and I took her out to dinner/ice cream/movies, and then we celebrated my Mom's birthday the next day. Her and my Mom were close. She always called her her "second Mom." Then 2 weeks later before even seeing her again, she ends things through text message, and I have to beg her to meet up. She goes and gets drunk with her friends and tells them in person before talking to me. She texts other friends laughing about it with them. She says hurtful thing after hurtful thing when we finally met up. I had no idea she was capable of acting that cold. She hasn't tried to contact me once since ending things. Anyone that knew us thought we had an amazing relationship, and would be together forever.

 

2 months later, I will admit one thing: I did get complacent, and stop putting in as much effort for things as I did in the future. We didn't always celebrate holidays, and other special stuff, and it's bothering me so much when I think about it, and blame myself. I always treated her good though, and she knew how much I loved her, and I definitely didn't deserve the way she ended things.

 

Since then, I have talked to numerous friends that have gone through the same thing.

 

I am: 1) Working full-time, 2) Working out like crazy, 3) Hanging out with friends a lot more than I did in the relationship, 4) Picking up new hobbies, and 5) staying busy. I also deleted her off all social media so I don't constantly check and see what she is doing. Some days I feel fine, but other days like today I feel AWFUL. I thought about her the entire day at work today.

 

I just feel like I am in a dream most days. I can't believe me and her are over, and I can't believe how easy it is for her to just move on. One thing I really regret is not talking to friends, and visiting forums like this when the breakup first occurred. I kept contacting her, and writing her love poems, and doing all the stupid stuff that I shouldn't of done. I feel like I ruined any chance of her coming back to me one day because I made her lose all attraction. Deep down though, I know I deserve someone that treats me with respect.

 

I am just really struggling with this. I am 25 now, and it seems like since the break-up has occurred, every couple we knew in college is now engaged, and we were together longer than ALL OF THEM. I also have that stupid fear that I will never find someone as good as her. She is a beautiful girl, and we had an amazing connection. I just wish we had figured out our lives right after graduating college, and none of this would have happened if we had moved in together right away.

 

I am doing everything possible to get over her. I am not sitting around moping. I am staying busy, but I am sick of her being on my mind. I can't even sleep without her being in my dreams most nights. I am at 10 days of NC. Everytime I try and contact her, she just ignores me anyways. I am 99% sure another guy is involved. She moved down South for a couple months, and should be back soon. I constantly wonder if she is going to ask to meet up when she's back, but it seems very unlikely.

 

I am so motivated to be successful in life now. As corny as this sounds, it woke me up for life, and made me realize I can count on myself. I am determined to accomplish all my goals, but the thoughts of never getting over her, and never finding a girl better than her that I love, and can have a family with one day terrifies me.

 

Any tips to help me get over her?

 

I never in a million years thought I would be this sad over a girl. She was my first real serious GF so I am sure that is making it even harder. When I went to visit the school we went too last week, I was just sad the whole time because every memory I have there is with her. She just seems like she doesn't give a crap about me, and has seemed completely happy since dumping me. She told her friends she was "at peace" with her decision already before even discussing it with me in person.

 

1 week she's having sex with me, and telling me how much she loves me, and I am her best friend. The next week she wants nothing to do with me anymore. Can people really be that fake, and lose all feelings for someone after 5 years? I realize it probably happened gradually over the last 6-12 months, but she sure acted like she still loved, and cared about me.

 

Sorry for the rant, but any advice would be much appreciated!!

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author

Just bothers me how much I am blaming myself.

 

1) I wish I would have decided on where to go back to school, and got out of my parent's house.

 

2) Put on some weight during the winter, and feel like she lost attraction to me,

 

3) More than anything, I hate how I got complacent, and just figured things would work out for us eventually. I stopped doing cute things like taking her out for dinner/drinks, celebrating our anniversaries/birthdays, etc, etc, and that was one of the main reasons she ended things IMO. I was too focused on saving money so we could get an apartment together, and was also frustrated/depressed at not knowing what kind of career I wanted to pursue that I just sat around when we were together, and she probably got bored. I was depressed being apart from her too, but I just had faith things would work out for us eventually. She compared us to her friends who already had good jobs, and lived together, and let it derail our relationship. She just made me feel like more of a failure but giving up on me/us.

 

Life just seems so weird without her. I'm 25, and a lot of my friends are getting married, and having kids. I am not in a huge rush to do that, but in the next 4-5 years, I would like for that to happen, and the fear of being alone, and not finding anyone kills me. I have no problem being single for now, but I just get terrified at the thought I will never find someone as beautiful as my ex was.

Link to post
Share on other sites

I'd get an MBA instead, and if you haven't already, pass the CPA exam. Unless you want to teach, the MBA is more valuable.

 

As for the girl, and the "sudden" change, I'm sure she resisted and fretted over these changes in her feelings for weeks or months. She was probably afraid to tell you, and hid it from you. All that "I love you" talk was her trying to convince herself. She didn't want this either, but at some point, she met a milestone, and that milestone was the ultimate realization that she could live without you, and in fact, wanted to do so. It was only then, after some liquid courage that she could end it.

 

That felt pretty ****ty to you, but in a sick way, it is a testament to how committed she was to your relationship. I'm sure she "fought" her own feelings until they consumed her. That's why she's at peace. You're just getting the memo now, and security has escorted you to the exit. She had your love and support, and wound it down gradually. You were pushed off the cliff.

 

You'll be just fine, although it will take a while. Try not to contact her ever, and don't respond if she contacts you. When you recall the breakup, look at it in your mind's eye from a different perspective... as if you were a third party. See you and her from afar. It will help you desensitize if you can stop seeing it from your eyes. Also, think of your relationship as a tangible thing. For me, I imagined that my ex shot our puppy without any regret. I don't know why, but it helped me when I viewed it as something other than what it is.

 

Also, I began to refuse to call the need and desperation I felt "LOVE". I called it neediness. I called it grief. I called it a lot of things, but I never called it love again. I told myself that she killed my love along with that puppy, and that my desire to be with her was there only because those were the conditions that existed when love was alive. If you're like me, you hate that it is like a shattered glass. It can never be repaired.

 

Good luck... it won't be easy, but it will get better, and you'll do just fine.

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites

I think you are doing everything right! And great job on starting NC and staying motivated to achieve your goals.

 

You are still in the early post break up stage, so it's normal to have disbelief and overwhelming sadness (and even shock). Be kind and patient with yourself. Don't feel bad about feeling bad, because you are a normal, good-hearted human being!

 

I know that NC is the most efficient way to recovery, but it is also normal for some to break it. When that happens, again, don't be harsh on yourself because many of us have done it also. Some people might have to hit rock bottom to really commit to NC while others are able to maintain it without hitting rock bottom. It's different for everyone, but most people would do a lot of thinking (obsessive, even), reflecting, crying, etc, and it's perfectly normal.

 

Give yourself a pat on the back for surviving a day, or even a few hours. You can even give yourself some sort of point system where you give yourself a point/credit for feeling OK for a few seconds. Over time, you would surely accumulate enough points (moments of feeling Ok) and pain becomes manageable.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

Dont blame yourself.

Also dont pay too much attention to the way she dumped you. It's a difficult situation also for the dumper and not everybody know how to do it the right way.

 

What happened is that she felt she is distanced from you, she tried to fight and sometimes to ignore her deep feelings and to look the other way. Every time she was trying to suppress the problem and hope it will be gone... you felt that everything is OK because she tried autosuggestion.

 

Finally she knew for sure it's OVER. then she couldn't wait even one minute, she had to tell you immediately, so she did it by text.

 

It's not your fault. it's not because something you have or haven't done. it would have been ended anyway.

Sorry for you...

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author

Thanks for the advice. I would like to possibly teach one day, but I don't know that for sure.

 

Everything I have read online, and talked to other friends, she definitely showed signs. She randomly mentioned going on a "break" back in December. I was even more in shock then. I just thought it was frustration from not living together, and figuring out what we wanted to go back to school for more than anything. I asked her what a break would do, and she gave no good answers. It just sucks because I know things would have worked out if a couple different things had happened, and I hadn't got complacent with her. I wish I could have done something special for our 5 year anniversary this year. Instead she had to work the day of our anniversary, and I was just stupid, and decided to save $$ instead.

 

I should have known back in December that we were over, or things needed to drastically change soon or they would be. I just thought she felt about me how I felt about her. She always called me her best friend, and told me she couldn't imagine a life without me. I was frustrated being apart from her too, but I always told her things would work out for us one day, and we would have an amazing, successful life together. Guess she didn't have the confidence that would happen.

 

Just wish we could have talked things out, and fixed things rather than just ending things. I know it probably was built up over months, but I just can't believe how easy it was for her to end things. All I want is another chance to fix things, and make it work. It's been about 2 months now, and I know everything that would need to be changed to make things better. Just sucks...

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author

I just wish I could know if she will ever contact me again or not.

 

Kills me not knowing. I am in no rush to get married (only 25), but I get jealous as hell seeing all these couples that went to college with us engaged, and happy when they were always fighting during college days. Not saying their relationships sucked, but we had the longest one of them all, and everyone thought we were perfect for each other.

 

She was my first girl so I don't have much to compare her too, but I had no desire to be with anyone else.

 

Hate the feeling of an unknown future, and the thoughts that I will never find a girl like her again. She's always gonna be the one that got away, and I just fear I will always think about her.

 

Guess I will just have to trust everyone, and hope it gets better with time. I wish I would have just accepted the break-up like a man when she ended things so that I would have had a shot at getting back with her eventually. I feel like I pushed her further away by crying, and begging, and continuing to contact her.

Link to post
Share on other sites
I just wish I could know if she will ever contact me again or not.

 

I'll help you out with that. No. She will never forget you, but she will never contact you again, or at least, you should hope not.

 

This must be your operating assumption in order to heal. If you're proven wrong, you need to enforce it from your end unless she contacts you to tell you she's made a big mistake.

 

Even if she does, you're going to need her back in little by little. These boards are filled with stories of yo-yo love. I'll spoil the ending for you - the string always breaks.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author

Just blows my mind how you can be with someone over 5 years, and be on a date with them one night, having sex, snuggling together, etc, etc, and then before you see them again, they are completely fine with you 100% out of your life for good.

 

Call me dramatic, but if I find another girl I really like one day, I don't even see how I allow myself to get close to them again because the fear of them leaving me like this will pop up again.

  • Like 3
Link to post
Share on other sites

Dramatic! Perfectly understandable. Yes you will. She'll be great, and you won't be able to resist.

 

Don't worry about that now. It will happen in its own time.

 

You're like an alcoholic, wondering how you're going to make it through the day without your favorite drink. It will get easier, but it is one day at a time. Stay busy.

 

Over and out.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author

I wish I could just talk to her again, and understand it more so I could move on easier.

 

Just crazy how I go from talking to her all day, every day for over 5 years to nothing just like that. It's hard to accept.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Dude, she told her friends she was going to break up with you before she actually broke up with you. She didn't have the guts to do it face to face, or not even over the phone. By text?!?! She's a coward, after five years, you would think she would owe you at least one last face to face. THEN, she laughs about your pain to her friends afterwards. Am I missing anything?

 

 

Dude, you don't need to talk to her again. Her actions spoke for her. She doesn't care and she doesn't respect you. I think her friends had a big influence in her decision and celebrated her breaking up with you and celebrated your pain. They're probably hooking her up with other guys. Setting her up on dates.

 

 

Look, I'm not trying to make you feel any worse than what you already do. I need you to open your eyes to what's happening from that first paragraph, those are YOUR words.

 

 

Now, if the roles were reverse and it was ME making that post and you read it to offer advice. What would that say to you about what's happening to me? Would you tell me that it must have been something I did that made her do that? Would you think that my Ex was a cowardly bitch? Would you tell me I could have done more? Would you tell me that I probably deserved it?

 

 

Here's the thing, you didn't do anything wrong and you didn't deserve the treatment you got. One day, after the high and the influence her friends have over her starts to go away, the guilt on how she handle things with you will start to eat away at her. And she might reach out to see where your head is at. One thing about a lot of girls, they hate the fact that there might be a person on this planet that hates them or doesn't think they're a nice person. So, she might want to find out if you hate her after a while. She's going to feel guilty and will reach out to you to find out if this is the case.

 

 

You need to ignore her! Let all calls go to voicemail. Let all texts go unresponded. You owe her nothing. You are not her friend. And you don't need to ease her guilt for her. When you don't respond, you give her NOTHING! She has no idea where your head is at. She has no idea if you hate her or if you forgive her. She has no idea if your happy or sad. She has no idea if you angry or indifferent towards her. She made the decision to have you out of her life and that's EXACTLLY what you need to give her. She can hold onto that guilt and learn from it. She needs to learn that you can't treat people the way she treated you and expect people to be okay with it.

 

 

Time to move on, you don't need closure. Her actions gave you all the closure you need. Time to start making positive changes in your life.

Edited by Chi townD
  • Like 3
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author

Thanks for the encouragement and post man! Made me feel a lot better.

 

You're right she is a coward. You know what hurts though? That I thought she was different. I had NO idea she could ever act that cold towards me.

 

You're 100% right though. Could I have maybe done a couple things different? Sure. She could have too. Regardless, I always treated her with respect, and loved her. Never was I mean to her, or cheated, or anything like that.

 

That's how I feel after the way she left though. I feel like I beat her, or cheated on her, or something like who acts like that towards someone you've been with for 5 years?

 

You know the funniest part of it all though? She has denied ending things through text lol! I am like how are you denying this? You texted me you were done. I had to beg you to meet in person, and by the time we did, you had already told me you were done, and drank and went out with your friends.

 

I was reading on here the stages of the dumper. She is probably in the happiness stage now, but in a couple months, she will feel some regret.

 

More than anything, I just feel dumb for thinking she was such a great person. I would have took a bullet for the girl, and she dumps me like that rather than ending it in person, or trying to work and fix our issues? It's just crazy to me.

Link to post
Share on other sites

And now you know her true colors. IME, it's always been the ones from whom you least expect it who cause the most damage to our hearts.

 

 

Again - there was LITTLE you could do. I suspect she has a case of GIGS, and if it's not another guy already, the desire to have another one is there.

 

 

Take it from me (and Chi) - you'll move onto greener pastures, and she'll be calling you wanting another chance at some point, at which time you can let her know that you value yourself more than she valued you, but she will then understand just how cold and cruel love can be when you betray your own partner.

 

 

Let me close by saying this - a girl who would "never betray" me did just that in 2010 with some other jerk. Just last month I got a text from her "Why did we not work out and what can we do about it". Mr. new knight in shiny armor wasn't so shiny after all.

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author

This may sound immature, but there is literally nothing more in the world I want then for her to see me accomplishing all my goals, and come running back to me, and me tell her to F off.

 

Do they really all come back one day? With how serious our relationship was, and nothing crazy happened, I have had thoughts she would one day. She ended it right before moving down South for a couple months so maybe she will regret it 1 day. However, I think the way I acted crying, and begging for her, and sending her long emails and love poems, and acting pathetic the first 2 weeks pushed her further away. Also told her I would never be friends with her, and that I have more respect for myself than to be friends with her. Whatever that even means lol.

 

Last time I checked her Instagram, and Facebook, she still has all the pictures with me up, except her profile pictures on FB. Haven't checked in a couple weeks since deleting her.

 

I definitely think she got GIGS, and there probably is another guy involved.

 

Oh well. Just crazy to think she may never attempt to contact me again. Went from talking all day, every day to nothing, and whenever I tried contacting her, she just ignored me. It feels like a dream to me.

Link to post
Share on other sites

After you stop caring whether she comes back so you can tell her to F-off is when you will have the chance to do just that. Any by then your life will be awesome without her, and you'll have the capacity to have a new, better gal around.

 

 

Everyone pleads and begs after a breakup, everyone. I would never hold that against someone and I don't know anyone who would, as long as there is no physical stalking, etc going on. It just takes the little thing called "time" to get all parties calmed down enough that the rational thinking head overtakes the emotional one.

 

 

Look - the way she screwed you over - presumably so she could move down south and shag or attempt to shag some other guy, is deplorable. Girls like this wind up being in their early 30s, single, alone, and without many solid options. I've seen enough of them throw away good guys and good relationships for some "wild" unknown to know that's exactly what happens, so us older guys get to deal with them. I just hooked up with a girl last week who did the same as your ex did to you (10 yrs ago) and is still f-ed up in the head over it.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Just blows my mind how you can be with someone over 5 years, and be on a date with them one night, having sex, snuggling together, etc, etc, and then before you see them again, they are completely fine with you 100% out of your life for good.

 

Call me dramatic, but if I find another girl I really like one day, I don't even see how I allow myself to get close to them again because the fear of them leaving me like this will pop up again.

 

Take this advice from someone who was dumped in a very similar way like you. Only i been with my ex 9 years and have 2 kids with her under the age of 2 years old.

 

When you meet someone new who is attractive and start being intimate with that person your ex will not even cross your mind. 3 months ago i thought i was going to literally die from the pain my ex caused me.

 

Better your self go to the gym, get a new hair cut go out to night clubs, meet new people. Please trust me. When you meet someone new you will get over your ex.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author

That's how I feel now some days like my life is over. I am not suicidal or anything crazy like that, but I just feel like I will be alone forever.

 

I loved the girl. She was my first true love. Spent my whole time in college with her. Wanted to marry her, and have a family with her. Seeing friends, and other people getting engaged/married to their long-term girls is making me extremely jealous. It should be us.

 

Just wish we had a second chance to go back and improve things. Can't get over how easy it is to just not talk to me anymore for her. The last couple days have been miserable keeping NC. I feel like a drug addict that needs a hit or something, and it's pathetic.

 

Just wanna tell her how much I love her, and how much better things could be, and find out if she is ever going to talk to me again, but there's no point cause I have already said stuff like that to her, and she's ignored me.

 

Wish I could have just accepted the break-up when it happened, and told her how much I love her, and that's it, and maybe she would have came back to me when she moves back in a couple weeks.

 

The thoughts of her with another guy kills me. I am supposed to be the one that loves her, and takes care of her. Worst feeling ever. Never in a million years thought I could be this sad over a girl.

 

Still can't believe how heartless she left me.

You run and tell your friends that you're leaving me

They say that they don't see what you see in me

You wait a couple months then you gonna see

You'll never find nobody better than me

Link to post
Share on other sites

I was almost in a similar sitation..... 4 yr relationship no abuse no hurtinngs.... yea we used to fight that too cz of the distaces but we truely loved each other even after being in long distance (shes in usa nd me in india for 3.5 yrs out of 4 yrs)... she broke up in february this yr... chased fr 3 months then 3.5 months of no contact... guess wt she texted me once between this period of nc nd i dint replied... aimed for fullfiling up my goals.... i still love her nd want her back... m nt going to make my post much brief right now...

Check my posts for brief story....

 

And hey LakersFan81 pleeeaaase do post here on loveshack if ur ex ever contact u or something..... it will be helpfull :)

 

Trust me she will text u... just be dedicated to nc.... give her chance to miss u

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author

I hate days like today where I don't feel like I am going to make it. Just hard to imagine a life without her.

 

I wish I would have just accepted the break-up when it happened, and not been all emotional, and defensive, and begged for her back. I continued to contact her constantly every 7-10 days, and it just pushed her away further, and confirmed her decision.

 

After 2 months apart, I miss her like crazy. I now see all the issues she had with our relationship after sitting back, and thinking about everything. She was fed up with not living together, and having a plan on where we were gonna move, and do with our lives. I remember times I turned her down doing things to save money, and work. Also probably got unattractive to her because I put on weight during the winter, and stop dressing nice for her too. Always wore T-shirts and hoodies lol.

 

She wasn't perfect though either, and she should have worked through things if she loved me like she said. I just need to get her off the pedestal I have her on because I can't see myself ever comparing to her.

 

Just wish I could meet up with her, and talk. I know how much things would be different this time around. It's not like we had any serious things happen. We just had some issues we had to resolve.

 

Part of me wants nothing more than to be with her, and love her again, and the other part of me hates her for leaving me like she did, and I think I deserve better.

 

Just wish these emotions would go away. I wanted to move with her, start a career, and have kids with her in the next couple years, and now I am stuck by myself.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author

Posted my story below, but the love of my life and girl I considered my best friend broke up with me about 2 months ago. We dated for 5+ years, and the whole time through college.

 

She left me cold like I didn't even matter to her anymore. Told me she was at "peace" with her decision, and before I deleted her off social media a couple weeks ago, seemed to be enjoying her life.

 

2 months have passed, and I can see why she was frustrated. We were both living at home since college trying to decide what we want to go back for our Master's for. She was frustrated we had no direction, and plan, and didn't hang out and do things together all the time because we had busy work schedules, and lived an hour apart. I was clueless because I love her more than anything, and just knew everything would work out eventually.

 

I begged her non-stop calling, texting her, writing her love poems, and I really regret doing that! I wish I could have just accepted the break-up, and focused completely on myself. I called her again on my birthday 2 weeks ago because I was with another girl, and there was just no connection, and I missed her so much. Regretted doing that the next day. Have sent her some e-mails too of long rants, and I just wish I had done all that.

 

My question is do they all come back one day? I love this girl more than anything in the world, and it breaks my heart realizing we never got a chance to move in together after college, and have a great life together. She wasn't just my lover, she was my best friend. I am focusing on making myself successful, and accomplishing goals, but life just isn't the same without her anymore, and it depresses me more than anything that I pushed her away further, and made her lost even more attraction by begging for her.

 

Will she come back to me one day? I just can't believe over 5 years together, and were on a date one night, and having sex, and cuddling, and then the next week she's gone for good. Is that really possible?

 

Just wish I could focus on myself, and KNOW that she will make contact with me one day down the line. It kills me to think I may NEVER hear from her again after over 5 years together, and nothing crazy happened between us. I am so focused on self-improvement, but the ups and downs just suck. I miss everything about her. She ignored me everytime I tried to contact her. It just drives me insane how easy it is for her.

 

Just wish I knew I would be able to talk to her one day because I know what we had was special, and uncommon, and I know what it takes to make things work, and make her happy after two months apart. It depresses me to think I will likely never get the opportunity, but people say they always come back when you finally move on with your life, so maybe she willl...I hate that I begged for the first 1.5 months off and on for her to come back to me!!

 

End of rant!

Link to post
Share on other sites

It is always best to assume that they won't ever come back regardless of anything you do or don't do. Here, a few examples

 

A couple years ago, my ex broke up with me, started dating a guy less than a month later, and then BAM....she is now engaged to the guy. I didn't beg for her back, I didn't call her or contact her, right after our break up...nothing.

 

I have a relative, who broke up with her bf of like 7 years, and ended up marrying a guy soon after that she only dated for a few months right after the break up.

 

Long story short....assume they aren't coming back, even IF you go NC (which you should be doing only to heal yourself, NOT to try and play games to get her back). As much as it hurts, and believe me, we all know, whats it's done, deal with the pain of accepting that it is done done. Best of luck

Link to post
Share on other sites

I agree, it's just best to assume she won't come back. That way you can start healing and then eventually move on. It sucks, but you will get through it. If I can do it, you can too!

 

And they don't always come back. Everyone always tells me that a couple of years down the line my ex will contact me somehow, and at this point I hope that he doesn't. And if he were to contact me somehow I would just ignore him. That actually goes to all my exes :).

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author

I know she loved me though, and I know I loved her. Just sucks we couldn't figure things out together rather than things having to end.

 

If we would have just moved in together right after graduating college, none of this would have ever happened. I will always regret that.

 

We had an amazing connection, and I am worried I will never find a girl quite like her again. She is beautiful, and we had amazing chemistry, and friendship, and she was the girl I wanted to be my wife. It kills me seeing all these other couples that dated while we were in college too engaged and all happy, and everything.

 

2 months away from her has given me a long time to sit back, and realize what needed to be fixed individually with me to be successful in life, and also what it takes to get our relationship back to where things were.

 

I know it would be different if we had another chance together, and I think I pushed her away, and made her realize she made the right decision by continuing to contact her. Horrible feeling.

Link to post
Share on other sites
deathandtaxes

I guarantee you she didn't view it as leaving you cold. She probably had been thinking about it for a long time. Agonizing over it, even. A break up like this is not something that just occurs at random.

 

 

They don't come back. The one's I've seen come back (and have experienced myself) almost always end in disaster or, if they stick together, it's a ****ing train wreck.

 

 

You need a support system, OP. You need friends. Hobbies. A life outside the relationship.

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites
×
×
  • Create New...