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Question that i'm sure is open for debate...


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Ok so me and my ex girlfriend of 2 years have been broken up since the end of May. There have definitely been points of no contact, but when she did contact me she was peristent and there were times she really wanted to see me and we hung out. When we did hang out things were great, there was this one time when she still had the key to our apartment she came over and wrote all this stuff about wanting me back on this board of mine. Anyways, i'm pretty sure she's just been keeping me around for who knows what reason. She is great sometimes and distant other times.

 

But thats just a little detail before I ask my main question. We used to fight about money a lot becuase we both didn't have much of it. I had a lot of debt due to a few years of gambling. Anyways when she needed money i would help her and she would help me when i needed it. When we broke up I owed her money, she moved out of our apartment and I was left to pay rent by myself.

 

Now, just today she has asked me if I was going to pay her back, my friends don't think I owe it to her since she bailed and left me paying twice as much rent, but I feel bad. I said that I would help her out but I have a tight budget, which I do especially now that the rent is so much. I've always hoped we would get back together and this has now thrown a big dent into that, she is being very mean and demanding I pay her back. What do you guys think?

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Can really hold the rent too much over her head because she lent you that money while she was paying her half of the rent and on top of what she lent you. I'm sure that put her in the red at the time.

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It's around $800. She left 3 months before our lease was up which cost me an extra $945.

 

I would call it a wash and tell her as such.

 

She left you with an additional financial burden that exceeded your debt to her. Ask her how she would have handled the situation if the roles had been reversed.

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NoLeafClover

Yea ..tell her you'll pay her back by sex and even that it costs too much..

 

She should have gotten the money first then left u to pay the other side of the rent..did she give you time to figure out the roomate situation or she just left you with a full bill? If so then she owes you. It's a different story if she gave you a heads up.

 

Even when people quit their jobs professionally the give a 2 weeks notice..It is common sense and gives you a bit of time to prepare yourself.

 

If you guys had a lease there should be a contract and if her name is on it then I'm sure she still has to pay you till the lease ends (I'm only speculating on this part cause it is possible)

 

Tell her when you go to look at the car you don't pay without looking or test driving it. It's like she is paying for the car without seeing it in person, then goes to pick it up the next day, doesn't like what she sees and she wants to negotiate the price by asking for some money back after paying already.

 

Don't feel bad either, she Def didn't feel bad to break your heart. You are not responsible for her and don't allow yourself to be a doormatt. Would you feel any different if she got another man already right after you? Well start thinking cause she might want to get him a nice watch for their 1 month anniversary

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SoThatHappened

My ex owes me 3 years worth of half the bills (minus groceries). So:

 

- 36 months x $700/month

= $25,200

 

That's low-balling it...

 

I dumped her and forgave the debt.

 

Don't pay her a dime.

Edited by SoThatHappened
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It looks like theres a few different opinions. When I talked about the rent yesterday she threw it in my face that it was my fault that she left. And no there was no notice she broke up with me on the very last day of the month. I had to borrow money from a friend just to keep a roof over my head that first month which I still owe him but he knows my financial situation and knows I will pay him back when I get the money.

 

The fact is when she lent me the money I had no idea down the road I would be paying so much in rent and so strapped with money. It's not like I have the money and I just refuse to pay her back, the fact is I don't have it and I offered to help her out as much as I could but that I was on a tight budget. But a part of me feels like I don't even owe it to her becuase if she hadn't moved out I would have had enough to pay her back already.

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Are you still living in the same place? Still paying the 945 rent?

 

If so you are in no position to be paying her anything at the moment.

 

I'd imagine she's brought it up as a semi breadcrump/excuse to talk/argue with her.

 

I'd say she'll get it back when you have it, when that is is regardless.

 

Look after yourself first and foremost, she can wait.

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