Jump to content

Love boyfriend, but want to travel.


Recommended Posts

Hey guys! I'm pretty sure this is classic G.I.G.S, but any advice would be great.

 

First of all, I am a 24 year old gay Flight Attendant who just moved cities across Australia around 9 months ago. The place I moved to wasn't the most exciting, but was happy to get the job I had wanted for a long time. Also to let you know, I've never been in a proper relationship. I've dated guys, yeah, but never anything past a month or so.

 

I met a guy through a work colleague about 3 weeks later on a night out. I was definetly NOT on the lookout for a boyfriend but me and this guy hit it off and casually started dating. I knew from the get go he wanted this to lead to a relationship, I didn't lead him on but probably sure have been more clear about what I did and didn't want. Even though he was absolutely perfect for me in pretty much every way, I knew I didn't want to be tied down and I began to almost resent our time together. After 8 weeks, I ended it and I thought it was definetly the right thing to do.

 

For the first week or so, things were great. I was feeling free and happy about my decision. As weeks went on, I started to really regret and question if I should have kept with it. Keeping in mind, I still didn't really know many people in this new city and looking back I question if I just missed friendship/company more than anything.

 

After about 8 weeks, I ran into him on another night out. I hadn't seen him in so long and this just made me feel confused! I couldn't get him out of my head after this, and about a week later I sent some flowers to his work apologising and saying please give me another chance. 1 week later, with slight reservations on his part, we were back together.

 

This time, things were quite a bit different. I had prepared myself this might head into relationship land and I was happy to experience it. I began to fall in actual love with him and there seemed to be no problems in our relationship at all.

 

We did seem to have a mild argument that would come and go every now and then of, "what would happen if I want to go to a international airline in the future, and have to move overseas?". We always decided it would be something we would just talk about later. He has a vision for the future of us settling down in a few years, buying a house etc. I know I'm not getting any younger, but these thoughts scare the hell out of me.

 

I'm not sure if I'm having a quarter life crisis or something, but now I'm thinking more and more this is something I want to do sooner then later. I want to do it while I'm young and I want to do it single.

 

I told him about this last week and we almost broke up, after him saying there isn't much point us being together If it will end soon anyway. We resolved it more or less with me compromising saying I will hold off on applying, and maybe I would be happy not going there in the future. With us arguing about this, it has raised lots of other questions for me in the same time. " Am I ready to put a dream on hold for him?" "What if he is the one and its worth it?" "Am I ready for him to be the one...I'm only 24".

 

I have known him for about 10 months now, but we have been together about 6 months. It probably sounds like we talk about the future a lot for a new couple, but he mentions it all the time. I know this was alot to read, any help you guys have would be great.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Do you think he's the one for you or do you see long term potential in the relationship? If not, then it's probably not worth giving up on your dream. Another question to ask yourself is, how would postponing/giving up an opportunity to travel the world affect the relationship? Would you end up developing resent towards him and see him as a reason you didn't pursue your dream?

 

I know I may sound negative, but I do think that if you think he's the one for you, then it could be worth giving it up. If you don't have full confidence in that, then I'd consider where you see yourself in 2/3 years, do you want to be where you are now and with him? Or abroad somewhere?

 

Best of luck

Link to post
Share on other sites

I don't believe in giving up on dreams of a lifetime for a lover's sake. Love can go wrong in many, many ways, and giving up on something so important for something that can be so fleething is a mistake imo. Especially if you are already having doubts after 10 months.

 

And that guy seems to be getting serious way too quick, which in your shoes would make me wonder about how quick he would be to give it up. I don't think he is having a healthy approach to the relationship.

Link to post
Share on other sites
×
×
  • Create New...