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What would you do if you and your ex were in an empty hall?


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OK_computer

Just wondering..

 

This happened to me today. We were both alone and she was just standing there. I had to walk past her, no other choice. I gave her the meanest coldest stare like "You're dead to me."

 

We stared at each other for maybe 5 seconds, no words. I walked past her. Parts of me wonder if things would have changed if in moments like this one, either one of us was to put our differences aside and hash things out. Little things like this destory any chance of future reconciliation I feel. But I'm ok with that now...I think

 

 

But I want to know what YOU guys would do if it happened to you... :o

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If you stared at her, that clearly indicates the complete opposite to 'You're dead to me'. Refusing to look at her and just walking straight past without so much as a hint of an acknowledgement, says that. So, you're clearly not over her, but still at the 'hate' stage. Which holds and binds her to you almost as much as if you still loved her. You need to get to the stage where even seeing her, doesn't make you think about her, at all.

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Ordinaryday

turn my head the other way, pretend I didnt see her and keep walking. ignore her at all costs. if she says something short to me like "hi" I will just ignore and keep walking, if she outright grabs me by the shirt or jumps in front of me and outright tries to engage in a long conversation I will simply say right to her face "I have nothing to say to you" and keep walking.

 

the moment she dumped me she became dead to me.

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OK_computer
If you stared at her, that clearly indicates the complete opposite to 'You're dead to me'. Refusing to look at her and just walking straight past without so much as a hint of an acknowledgement, says that. So, you're clearly not over her, but still at the 'hate' stage. Which holds and binds her to you almost as much as if you still loved her. You need to get to the stage where even seeing her, doesn't make you think about her, at all.

 

Yeah... well I've come a long way nonetheless I feel. Next stage is to get to that. I mean inside I was thinking all that but outside was a cold empty stare. Idk exactly how powerful eyes are.. But you think by making eye contact the other person can tell how you feel inside? If they knew you well enough?

 

I have to become apathetic..I know..I'm almost there..which is saying alot since i see her everyday except sundays. And for me not to be breaking down, but rather fine with it, its cool.. thanks

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OK_computer
I would smile and say hello....i dont hold grudges.....deb

 

I want to do that too, apart of me does. But I know a hello is where it will start all over again, that's the vicous cycle I don't want to get into again. If it was any other ex i would definitely be down with a cordial hello hehe. :rolleyes::o

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Ordinaryday
I would smile and say hello....i dont hold grudges.....deb

 

yeah but are you the dumpee??? or dumper?? it is a lot easier not to hold a grudge when you are the one who did the dumping!

 

when you are the one who got dumped.... well you might have thought you had a future with this person, might have been in love with them and had plans for the future with them, and then all that gets shattered when they tell you they don't wish to see you anymore.

 

all the plans for the future you had, all the dreams you had, all gone in an instant.

 

yeah I won't be saying "hi" to someone like that!

 

as someone on this board once said "the person who suggests just being friends is always the person less invested in the relationship. being just friends is easy for them".

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Just wondering..

 

This happened to me today. We were both alone and she was just standing there. I had to walk past her, no other choice. I gave her the meanest coldest stare like "You're dead to me."

 

We stared at each other for maybe 5 seconds, no words. I walked past her. Parts of me wonder if things would have changed if in moments like this one, either one of us was to put our differences aside and hash things out. Little things like this destory any chance of future reconciliation I feel. But I'm ok with that now...I think

 

 

But I want to know what YOU guys would do if it happened to you... :o

 

Walk away as fast as I can and then have an anxiety attack.

 

I would smile and say hello....i dont hold grudges.....

 

At this point I should and will continue.

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I would smile and say hello....i dont hold grudges.....deb

 

Same here :)

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todreaminblue
yeah but are you the dumpee??? or dumper?? it is a lot easier not to hold a grudge when you are the one who did the dumping!

 

when you are the one who got dumped.... well you might have thought you had a future with this person, might have been in love with them and had plans for the future with them, and then all that gets shattered when they tell you they don't wish to see you anymore.

 

all the plans for the future you had, all the dreams you had, all gone in an instant.

 

yeah I won't be saying "hi" to someone like that!

 

as someone on this board once said "the person who suggests just being friends is always the person less invested in the relationship. being just friends is easy for them".

 

 

i have been dumped and i have had to end things too with a few guys....i am on a friends basis with all......i havent got an ex i wouldnt say hi too......or even someone who has treated me badly in the past ...its done i dont want a relationship that is intimate but i am able to say hi to all my exes they are exes not the anti christ....deb

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yeah but are you the dumpee??? or dumper?? it is a lot easier not to hold a grudge when you are the one who did the dumping!

Not really. Sometimes you dump someone because you know you aren't wanted. I don't need to be shown twice, happy to walk before I'm pushed or tolerated for a while. That doesn't mean it's going to play on my mind forever. Move on, end of story.

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Ordinaryday
Move on, end of story.

 

yes, and I consider part of 'moving on' to be completely removing the ex from my life. that includes saying "hi" to them!

 

in january my ex saw me in a very similar situation and did exactly this to me, said "hi" and then walked away. it annoyed me to no end, she has no right to say hi to me after what she did to me!

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todreaminblue
yes, and I consider part of 'moving on' to be completely removing the ex from my life. that includes saying "hi" to them!

 

in january my ex saw me in a very similar situation and did exactly this to me, said "hi" and then walked away. it annoyed me to no end, she has no right to say hi to me after what she did to me!

 

 

read your last sentence aloud.......does it seem a little childish......like im packign up my marbles and going home dont talk to me sort of thing.....i think it shows you arent really over her. i sometimes have wanted to pack up my marbles too....i just cant be bothered holding on to them..too heavy ...so i drop them...adn i just say hi ...it isnt hard...better than holding a whole bag of marbles........deb

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OK_computer
yes, and I consider part of 'moving on' to be completely removing the ex from my life. that includes saying "hi" to them!

 

in january my ex saw me in a very similar situation and did exactly this to me, said "hi" and then walked away. it annoyed me to no end, she has no right to say hi to me after what she did to me!

 

I agree. It really depends on the ex and how things ended. If you ended things badly I'm sure the last person you want to acknowledge is your ex.

 

After she told me to go die and leave her alone, that she doesn't bloody care about me..and I call her pathetic and wished she died. ..there's no much room for a hi..even though it was so long ago..like 6 months.

 

She's healed and though the bu was mutual..it doesn't mean I should be cordial. I'm not ready.

 

Thanks for the responses evryone.

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yes, and I consider part of 'moving on' to be completely removing the ex from my life. that includes saying "hi" to them!

So if you were in an empty hall with them, you would pretend they didn't exist?

in january my ex saw me in a very similar situation and did exactly this to me, said "hi" and then walked away. it annoyed me to no end, she has no right to say hi to me after what she did to me!

I guess I don't see it as their going out of their way to hurt me. They feel as awkward as you do and they try to be civil.

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I agree. It really depends on the ex and how things ended. If you ended things badly I'm sure the last person you want to acknowledge is your ex.

 

After she told me to go die and leave her alone, that she doesn't bloody care about me..and I call her pathetic and wished she died. ..there's no much room for a hi..even though it was so long ago..like 6 months.

 

She's healed and though the bu was mutual..it doesn't mean I should be cordial. I'm not ready.

 

Thanks for the responses evryone.

Pf! I told my last ex I hoped his plane would crash :laugh: Had a million conversations with him since.

All that stuff goes away after a while. Good luck!

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OK_computer
Pf! I told my last ex I hoped his plane would crash :laugh: Had a million conversations with him since.

All that stuff goes away after a while. Good luck!

 

Yea I feel ya...maybe I'm just holding onto stupid words for no reason. I can at least be civil. ..but isn't ignoring someone or not talking to them civil too? I'm still not a 100% over her. And im in NC...so not saying hi is staying in nc right?

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Yea I feel ya...maybe I'm just holding onto stupid words for no reason. I can at least be civil. ..but isn't ignoring someone or not talking to them civil too? I'm still not a 100% over her. And im in NC...so not saying hi is staying in nc right?

You should certainly do what you feel is best for you. In an empty hall completely ignoring someone could be incredibly awkward BUT in any other situation, avoiding her is probably best, yes.

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I would say a cordial "hello" and I'm pretty sure he'd do the same. He is still someone I care about deeply and hold no grudges even though i am the dumpee. There is no point for me. This doesn't mean I want to be friends.

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I'd never stare at him like you did. I'd say hello and smile. He is not guilty for not loving me so I don't hate him at all.

I still care for him, so I'll be nice if I ever cross paths (very undoubtedly well ever meet aagain in this life)

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OK_computer
I'd never stared him like you did. I'd say hello and smile. He is not guilty for not loving me so I don't hate him at all.

 

Again, that depends on how you ended things with your ex. I ended things with sh÷t hitting and fan. And the stare went both ways. I find nothing wrong with staring at someone whom you have unresolved issues that accumulated for the last 4 years. So what if its awkward? Breaks ups are.

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