Should I Break Up With Her?

[Natsu21]

Okay, guys, I need your opinion and be honest. This might get complicated.

 

Been seeing this older woman for 6 months. We have our fights and disagreements like any other couple.

 

I'm 23 years old. She's 37 and is the manager of a large company.

 

Last month in June...I was vacationing with my sister in a resort in central Florida, when my sister and I had an argument...I walked away, tried to get out of the door, and was jumped and attacked physically by my own sister, she had her daughter and my brother hold me down to keep me from escaping and called the police, saying that I was beating on her, calling her the c-word, and planning on killing her.

 

I was arrested shortly afterwards and kept in jail overnight. When I got out on Pre-trial release, my sister had abondoned me and I was in central Florida, with no money(the Booking Department cleaned out my wallet) currently no I.D.(as it was all in NYC where we were trying to get it back) and an appointment to make.

 

Thanks to some stranger's kindness, I made the trip and eventually got out of Florida...where I learned that my case is now a week from today and I wasn't able to make enough money for the trip and back.

 

So I told the woman I was seeing about it and she told me she didn't want to be involved in helping me...I didn't have enough money and at the time, my I.D. was lost, and so is my birth certificate(long story)

 

But then she found out that a few of my female friends(some of them who do have feelings for me and I know it, though they deny it) were starting this "fundraiser" of sorts to get me back to Florida to make my case.

 

I told them that I was flattered but I don't need you guys to do it, but 3 of them still tried. Meanwhile...

 

In a heated argument the woman I was seeing was irate these girls wanted to help me because "they have ulterior motives"

 

I shot her a look and said "Well you didn't want to help" to which she said "That's not the point. What I said is that you can't afford to get warranted for an arrest."

 

Which, I know I can't, but if I can't make it to Florida from where I am without money...what can I do?

 

So I asked her "Would you support me if I was to be arrested on a warrant ,since you don't want to help me get to court?"

 

She sighed and said "I wouldn't wait for you. I'd support you, but only as a friend."

 

And that set me off. I posted my feelings later after the argument on a Facebook status. Here it is:

 

For the love of...you don't understand.

 

Why the hell is it we're supposed to be seeing each other, I'm in trouble, and while my friends all got my back and offered to help me in any way they can...

 

You just say "Nope, it's none of my business" while you tell me you won't stick around if I end up warranted for something I CAN'T CONTROL?

 

And then you get mad cause you think these girls want something?

 

**** that. You don't understand this, but loyalty is EVERYTHING to me. And the simple fact that you said you would leave me if I was in jail, even when it's clear that I'M INNOCENT, doesn't speak volumes about your loyalty when **** gets tough.

 

You think petty arguments are bad? Really? NO...you wouldn't last a DAY in my shoes. But I guess you don't have to.

 

You hurt my feelings and you don't seem to understand it. It's not that I wanted you to do it. It's that I wanted you to understand me, instead all I get is...

 

Sorry...I won't wait for you.

 

I know chicks out there who have boyfriends who got locked up for a year or two for crimes they didn't commit. These chicks waited and supported them.

 

And stuck around. Because they had loyalty. My own friends, girls I'm not even seeing, wanted to help me out. How the **** am I supposed to feel when you, the woman I'm interested in, say these things.

 

The **** you come at me trying to talk about us possibly having something when you can't even think of sticking around when the going gets tough.

 

I can understand if I was a real criminal and I beat my sister, but I didn't, and there's evidence that I didn't.

 

But you want me to go make a court date I'm finanically unable to?

 

The difference between me, my friends and you, is that they are trying to help me and they aren't asking anything in return, they just like me and they don't have much. We're friends, we support each other.

 

But you and I, we're more than that.

 

So how do you have the balls to say "Don't get warranted or else I may not stick around" and expect me to take you seriously as a potential girlfriend?

 

Loyalty is everything to me, and if you can't stick it out in the trenches, get the **** to stepping.

 

I never said your life had to stop, but if I'm there for you, I expect you to do the same, or else get to stepping.

 

And don't think we can just be friends...I got enough friends.

 

 

 

So the big question guys, I got a court case in a week and I still don't have the money to make it to court. Chances are I'm gonna get warranted. I'll take care of it when I can and I already notified the courts of my situations (I live in Alabama, the case's in Florida)

 

After our argument, should I break it off with her and move on?

 

Or was I ovverreacting?

 

Btw, my sister left me with a simple battery charge in the state of Florida, and as a result, I ended up homeless for a week in Florida till I got back to Alabama.

 

Honest answers are appreciated.

[Natsu21]

Maybe I should have posted in a different forum.

[Natsu21]

lol. Nothing? Wow.

[Smarty Pants]

I would be worrying more about your legal situation. Get a court-appointed lawyer if you can't afford to go to Florida or hire one on your own.

 

As for your girlfriend, if you even have to ask us if you should break up, you probably already know the answer.

[Natsu21]

Wish I could, cept I can't afford one and I live in another state.

 

It's the arraignment.

[flitzanu]

pretty sure she could care less about you dumping her if she's said she's not waiting. also don't overlook the notion she may simply not believe you're innocent.