meg1818 Posted July 25, 2014 Share Posted July 25, 2014 I am in a long distance relationship east coast to west coast. While my bf was here I got caught in some lies about texting people who were in my past by just answering. But didn't want to say who they were in case his feelings would get hurt. He forgave me understood said don't do it again. We have been having long distance arguments do to his mother not liking me because she wants someone close to him. It's taking a toll on us I don't feel free to even visit. We have been arguing a lot. I asked for a break then backed out because he said a break would be for good. I just needed some peace. I had a friend over the house after a huge argument and he found out a lied. I said I was alone. I was wrong but it was an innocent lie to not let the fighting get anymore out of hand. Anyways he saw a picture of us flipped out on me. Said its over said he asked one thing of me to not lie and I do it over and over again. It's been two days no contact. Do You think he'll cool off and eventually text me ? Or it's over ? I'm afraid to text first since he said its over. I don't want to look desperate and be even more hurt. What do you think? Link to post Share on other sites
deathandtaxes Posted July 25, 2014 Share Posted July 25, 2014 You need to find somebody to be in a relationship with that you don't have to lie to. Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted July 25, 2014 Share Posted July 25, 2014 You had a guy over after a fight with you bf -- picture of you and a guy that you posted so bf could see? You kept texting other guys from your past even when he said to stop? 4 Link to post Share on other sites
thekid36 Posted July 25, 2014 Share Posted July 25, 2014 I am in a long distance relationship east coast to west coast. While my bf was here I got caught in some lies about texting people who were in my past by just answering. But didn't want to say who they were in case his feelings would get hurt. He forgave me understood said don't do it again. We have been having long distance arguments do to his mother not liking me because she wants someone close to him. It's taking a toll on us I don't feel free to even visit. We have been arguing a lot. I asked for a break then backed out because he said a break would be for good. I just needed some peace. I had a friend over the house after a huge argument and he found out a lied. I said I was alone. I was wrong but it was an innocent lie to not let the fighting get anymore out of hand. Anyways he saw a picture of us flipped out on me. Said its over said he asked one thing of me to not lie and I do it over and over again. It's been two days no contact. Do You think he'll cool off and eventually text me ? Or it's over ? I'm afraid to text first since he said its over. I don't want to look desperate and be even more hurt. What do you think? First of all, long-distance relationships take a little extra effort. Otherwise, there is no chance at all that they will work out in the end. It takes total commitment on both sides. Especially, because you see one another not as much as other couples. Second, whether or not his mom likes you or not should have nothing at all to do with your relationship. Sure, it would be nice to have her approval. Yet, it is also not necessary. The both of you need to do what is best on each of your ends. That being said, he should step up as a man to his mom and give you some props as his woman. On his own volition and without you needing to tell him. Third, you need to be honest and open with a partner at all times. It is the cornerstone of any healthy and happy relationship. Whether you end up staying with him or not. No matter how difficult the truth may be. You owe it to your partner and vice-versa. If you are not comfortable being open with him, there is a serious issue with your relationship. You both are going to need to decide if you want this specific relationship to have a chance. It is going to take more effort from the both of you going forward should you stay together. If there are doubts, end the experience here and take it as a learning experience. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
dannytheman Posted July 25, 2014 Share Posted July 25, 2014 Why doesn't the mom like you? The above poster makes a good point. Sounds like you haven't been fully committed to him or do you love him enough Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted July 25, 2014 Share Posted July 25, 2014 Why would you invite a male friend over after the talk with your bf and then lie about it? Girl you were asking for a break up. Maybe with the texting, male friends and lies it's best that you not be in a relationship right now. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted July 25, 2014 Share Posted July 25, 2014 The only thing you really have in an LDR is trust, yet you have broken his several times by continuing to lie to him so no, I don't think he's going to cool off & everything will be OK In light of the fact that this is falling apart in part due to the distance which you don't seem to have a plan to fix, perhaps you are both better off dating people who are located closer to you. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author meg1818 Posted July 27, 2014 Author Share Posted July 27, 2014 I am 28 dating a 22 yr old. We fell in love where I live, she was here for school. We are truly compatible and in love in everyway its mutual. I would visit there. Things were awesome. Her mom found out about us and the dynamic of the relationship changed. WHile she was here I lost her trust by telling little lies to avoid conflict. SHe didnt like them at all, she would always ask me to stop it became a small pattern. I am loyal, never cheated never will. but sometimes i need space. And she needs to know everything, WHen i went to visit her lied about someone calling me because i needed advice about what to do about our relationship. She went throughh my calls. I apologized said i was lonely, and she abondoned me when i flew to another state to see her. I didnt think it was a big deal and i lied to avoid conflict. She forgave me and we worked back the trust, ABout three months later we have been arguing more than ever. About her mom, about the time change, and about not getting enough time. The arguing was taking a toll on me i told her i needed space, she didnt handle it well i saif if i did to leave now, i chickened out because i dont want to lose her i love her, The next day i had a coworker/friend over and lied to her about it, because i knew shed start an issue about me not dedicating time to her, She found out i lied again although a stupid lie to avoid arguing creating something worse. SHe dumped me said i was a born liar and wished me luck. Its been 4 days. I sent her texts no answer, then an email no answer. WHy isnt she replying? even if it is over why doesnt she answer its over or leave me alone. is there any chance? Link to post Share on other sites
Author meg1818 Posted July 27, 2014 Author Share Posted July 27, 2014 after someone dumps you in anger. how long does it take for them to respond if ever? no cheating involved, and you both are in love? it's been four days and he wont answer emails or texts Link to post Share on other sites
dannytheman Posted July 28, 2014 Share Posted July 28, 2014 Confusing. Is it a boy or girl Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted July 28, 2014 Share Posted July 28, 2014 meg1818 -- I need clarification. Your 1st post said "while my BF was here" & that his mother did not like you. Then you say you meet while "she" was here for school & her mom found out. What gender are you? What gender is your SO? Who is 22 & who is 28? If your communications with your SO are as confusing as your posts, especially about basic things like who is who that may be half your problem. She doesn't know what to believe because you can't get the facts straight or is straight a poor choice of words? I'm not trying to be judgmental but knowing the nature of your relationship may help us to give you better advice. Link to post Share on other sites
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