Koans Posted July 25, 2014 Share Posted July 25, 2014 (edited) Long story short. My situation is related to the gigs article with all the elements of why people say, "long distance relationships never last". You can say that the nature of the beast took hold.. 3 year LDR relationship. Anyways she broke up with me out the blue after I asked if she wanted to move to my state. She then fell out of love and jumped with a new guy within a week and blamed the crap out of me for everything. I initiated contact and blamed myself. Fast forward on the 4th month, after 2 months of chasing her (2 months of NC). The NC gave me major clarity and my love turned into anger. Ok so on the 4th month, she then tries to add me on Snapchat*delete*. She tries to add me on Instagram twice *delete*. I got sick of the mind game plaguing me so I initiated contact through email and said something like, "you got my #, if you got something to say, say it to me directly, F all this passive crap". (Not exact words but similar) She came back on attack mode and I attacked back etc. Then later I thought, how do I get this biiitttcchhhh to be leveled with me. So my next email was softer but firm. She mirrored that. Eventually we got to a level ground to the point we were speaking on the phone like old times laughing, joking, and catching up. But I let her know were not 100% cool till she fly's here and we correctly make right of what went wrong. I asked if she was with the "new guy" and she sounded reluctant to reply, "yes". Then I eventually let her know the dilemma at hand and that reconciliation over the phone isn't an option. It has to be in person. She was eager to still keep in contact but I let her know that is also not an option indirectly, by means of weaseling my way out to answer her. She gave me contradicting mixed signal answers that sounded like she would be up for flying here but not really. Answers that sounded exactly like how we broke up. I was on my game at this point so I didn't read into too much. Being on my knowledgable pimp shiz at this point, after her being curious to what I texted... "I forgot what I was gonna say, nevermind". I followed it with, "since you're not coming coz I would have to know soon anyways, that if you wanted to just reconcile and evaluate our relationship ove the phone, but even if that was our only option, I wouldn't be able to take it seriously". She texted back, "So if we had no other option you would just never take it seriously". I responded, "Are you asking me or telling me" - "And that depends on how serious you care to make right of what went wrong". In essence, this means she has to dump her rebound and also fly here. She hasn't responded since. Exactly 4 hours as I'm writing this thread. So I basically put her in the hot seat. Which is effin fantastic because not only do I have control. 1) I cameback as a new man. Got me a new house etc. 2) I have emotional control to the point I jokingly told her, "tell your new guy I said hi". IRRELEVANT SHIZ: But for the 1 week span of limited contact I have been having with her. Their hasn't been a day she has gone out with her new guy. And she has unblocked me from FB. I see no pictures with the new guy except 1. But I am still firm about not adding her on social media till we come to a peace treaty. What do you make of this? What is your opinion on this situation. Thanx! And yes I know shes not sure of what she wants, so my approach is showing her that I'll be fine if I bounce. Because at this point, I really am. Hopefully that will make her realize of what she does not have till it is gone forever. I'm naturally a deep thinker. When I reflected back on our relationship. I can see the catalyst to why it manifested a demise to our relationship. I told her, it is not my fault, or your fault. It was the nature of the beast of a LDR. But in order for you to hear me out, I will tell you only in person. We broke up on Facebook which is retarded. So I feel like she owes me this if she is truly apologetic. And yes I have my beliefs to the b.u., but also it would be of interest to the both of us for the purpose of growth. Edited July 25, 2014 by Koans Link to post Share on other sites
hoping2heal Posted July 25, 2014 Share Posted July 25, 2014 Need more details. Fly there as in to meet? Or, fly there as in to relocate as you two have already met? Link to post Share on other sites
SoThatHappened Posted July 25, 2014 Share Posted July 25, 2014 The first piece of advice after my first post here: "Hug the cactus and let this one go, my friend." LDR's are already hard enough. She is involved with someone else. Your "pimp shiz" is weak. You've got nothing, man. "Pimp shiz" is writing her off, leaving her alone, and working on yourself. There are millions of eligible women in the world. Find another one in the same city and without a boyfriend. Link to post Share on other sites
Itspointless Posted July 25, 2014 Share Posted July 25, 2014 Treasure the good memories you have with her and go on with your life. I have the feeling the more you two have contact the more tainted those three years will become, due to the fact that she is not that person any-more, just as you are not. I read in your posting that she takes no responsibility for her actions and just wants to be pleased when she wants to be pleased. Good communication does not need that pimping bs, although I get that it felt good. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Koans Posted September 1, 2014 Author Share Posted September 1, 2014 Her fly to my city and just talk it out. Reconciliation in terms of hashing out the negative. Not necessairly getting back together. But I guess I didnt make that clear with her. But its not like shes tryna talk so fucc her. Link to post Share on other sites
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