Anyone been through similar breakup ?

[chardayze]

So my ex of 2 1/2 years broke up with me 6 weeks ago because he said he needs to go out into the world and "find out who he is and what he wants in life" (we are both 20 and have history of about 6 years (we had previously dated when we were younger) he said he still loved me and hopes we will be together in the future.

 

About a week later we caught up to talk more and we ended up kissing and he said he wasn't sure what he wanted, so I agreed that we would both see each other after we got back from our trips (he was going away for 1 week then coming home for 4 days before going away for another month all with his dad and older sister) and see how he felt then.

 

When he went away for the first week he was telling me how much he missed me and that he couldn't wait until I got back from my trip to see and that he had to see me in the 4 days he was back before we both left again.

 

So I stupidly agreed to see him earlier because I thought he wanted to get back together. We ended up kissing and he said that he knows I'm the one for him and that he can't lose me etc but he still isn't sure of what he wants... So that made me pretty annoyed. So I said I would see him again after our trips and he has to give me a definite answer then because I'm tired of waiting for a definite answer.

 

For the first 3 weeks of our trips we were texting all the time and he was telling me the usual stuff how much he loved me and how excited he was to see me when he got back. However all of a sudden in the last week before he was coming home he started texting me less and when he would text me he would be very blunt. I was so confused and upset and I tried asking him but he just said "nothing's wrong" but I knew there was. Anyway I asked him if he still wanted to see me straight away and he told me he "wasn't sure and the he might need a few days" but I was sick of waiting so I said I need to see you straight away.

 

So I went and saw him yesterday and the first thing he did was give me a huge hug and a kiss and he seemed happy.. We talked first about our trips and then I asked him what I came to ask being what is happening between us. He said that he had thought so much about it and had thought he wanted to be together with me again but then he spoke to his dad about it and his dad told him that he thinks he should be on his own for awhile.

 

He said he didn't mean to be blunt but he didn't want to keep leading me on anymore once he realised he wanted to be on his own. This made me quite upset because it feels like his dad made his decision for him and changed his mind(and his dad has never been one to have a successful relationship).

 

My ex said he was so sorry but he was sure this is the right thing for him to do and that he needs to be alone for awhile but that he still loves me and hopes we will be together in the future. He said he is not breaking up with me because he is interested in getting with other girls, but that he really needs time on his own. I am quite upset but also a little relieved that he has finally given me a definite answer as I can now try and move on.

 

Anyway a few questions for you. 1. I know he is saying he is not interested in getting with other girls but I know that could easily happen and I don't know how I will cope when and if I hear that he has, so any coping advice for that?

 

2. I am stoping contact with him and he thinks that is for the best too, but do you think he will try to contact me?

 

3. If he really loved me do you think he would really want to be on his own for that long especially because he said he doesn't want to lose me?

 

4. I've heard that when guys dump girls they feel very relieved and happy about it for a few weeks whilst the girl is feeling the opposite, but then when the girl starts to feel better the guy starts missing them, do you think that is true?

 

5. I have also heard that when someone finally starts to move on it's like their ex can sense it and then they all of a sudden come running back, do you believe this is true?

 

Thanks everyone, would really appreciate peoples opinions.

[Griesfootball]

1. To get over this part you can't think about anything like it or it will eat you up.

 

2. If he really loves you and you've known each other for a while he will not forget about you. He will contact you without you asking so don't beg.

 

3. I don't know if he has different goals than you, that age different people want to do different things but if he really loves you why is he letting you go knowing that you could find someone while he does whatever.

 

4. It happens sometimes depending on how the relationship was. He will enjoy that freedom and the feeling of not having any pressure but come time he will probably miss you if he honestly says he is not interested in other girls.

 

5.This also does happen sometimes because when someone breaks up with you, they know you are still avaliable to them but once you date and it starts to get serious they realize you may never be avaliable again.

 

Hope my viewpoints help in some way. It's though but you can get through it you sound like a very caring person.

[chardayze]

Thank you so much. Your viewpoints did help, it's always nice hearing other people's opinions. Much appreciated.

[Griesfootball]

I'm around the same age and have had one lover, this stuff is hard to work through at this age because we just aren't mature with relationships and it's due to not having much experience. Life is so crazy at this age. Usually there is a lack of communication.