MissHim1313 Posted July 22, 2014 Share Posted July 22, 2014 So I've gone NC with my ex boyfriend for a week and a half. We have been on and off for 9yrs. I love him, but he moved 3hrs away. It worked for about a year, but then he dumped me for a much older woman, who doesn't want a commitment. I told him not to contact me unless he wants to be with me and only me. That was a week and a half ago. Since then, whenever I post on Facebook and mention another guy, he "likes" it. He even left a comment on one that was sarcastic but pretending to be helpful. Since going NC, I scroll right past his posts. I don't even read them. But it's impossible to no see when he likes or comments on what I post. I know he doesn't want to be with me, so why does he have to rub it in? I don't want to block him. Like I said, I don't read his posts, so why is he liking my posts about other guys? It just makes me feel bad. If he wants me to move on, why doesn't he just ignore my posts like I do his? Thanks guys for any insight you may have! Link to post Share on other sites
irresolute Posted July 22, 2014 Share Posted July 22, 2014 Stop posting updates on facebook. You know you're doing this to provoque him. You don't need to let the world know about you dating. And yes, block him. He chose not to be with you, you need to move on with your life. I know it may sound harsh but you need to stop playing games (posting on Facebook and pretend not to see his sarcastic comments) Link to post Share on other sites
Author MissHim1313 Posted July 22, 2014 Author Share Posted July 22, 2014 I wasn't trying to provoke him, because I know it wouldn't. I guess I just wanted him to know I wasn't sitting home missing him... because for the most part, I am. You're right though.. no more posts about guys! I feel like he does it to upset me, and if I block him, then he'll know it worked. Link to post Share on other sites
Author MissHim1313 Posted July 23, 2014 Author Share Posted July 23, 2014 After 9yrs, I guess I know if I block him, I'll never hear from him again and that's too scary for me to do right now. I don't have a problem scrolling past his posts. Why does he want to antagonize me? I have left him alone and his Facebook profile also. Why doesn't he do the same? Maybe I'm grasping, looking for any glimmer of hope. But if I broke up with someone and they didn't contact me, I would ignore their posts. I don't get it. Should I ask him to stop? I don't want to speak to him. I don't want to block him... he was pissed last time I did. I know that would be the end and I don't want it to be... Link to post Share on other sites
travelbug1996 Posted July 23, 2014 Share Posted July 23, 2014 Its already ended. Why are you holding on to someone that doesn't want you. That seems to have a negative effect on your esteem which is the reason you can't block him You really need to move on. Link to post Share on other sites
irresolute Posted July 23, 2014 Share Posted July 23, 2014 I'm really sorry. It seems you're not ready to give up yet. I don't really know how to give you advice if you're still hopeful and cannot go no contact. He hasn't tried to get you back, he hasn't begged for you, he's just living his life mocking of your posts on Facebook. He's not mature, but you can be mature. Blocking him doesn't mean you'll never hear from him again. Means you choose yourself and your sanity. If you cannot block him, just unfollow (that's what I've done, but with the difference my "ex" doesn't post or comment any of my updates). I'm sorry you're hurting. Link to post Share on other sites
music_and_poetry Posted July 23, 2014 Share Posted July 23, 2014 After 9yrs, I guess I know if I block him, I'll never hear from him again and that's too scary for me to do right now. I don't have a problem scrolling past his posts. Why does he want to antagonize me? I have left him alone and his Facebook profile also. Why doesn't he do the same? Maybe I'm grasping, looking for any glimmer of hope. But if I broke up with someone and they didn't contact me, I would ignore their posts. I don't get it. Should I ask him to stop? I don't want to speak to him. I don't want to block him... he was pissed last time I did. I know that would be the end and I don't want it to be... You can try unfollowing him. That's what I did. But you have to make sure you don't look at his page. Ever. That takes some self control. I actually am taking a temporary 2 week hiatus from Facebook which is definitely helping! Link to post Share on other sites
Author MissHim1313 Posted July 24, 2014 Author Share Posted July 24, 2014 I'm still hesitant to block or unfriendly him. I've loved him for so many years it's hard to take that step. I have no problem ignoring his posts and I never go to his page. He still continues to like my posts, which is annoying, because we aren't speaking. It's been 11 days no contact, but every time I see his name on my page, I get tempted to call him. The only thing that stops me from calling is the thought that that's what he is trying to get me to do. If I call him, nothing will ever get better. I don't know if unfriending him will push him even further away. Also, I feel like it shows a level of caring to unfriend someone and I don't want him to think that I care at all. Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted July 24, 2014 Share Posted July 24, 2014 You create a thread asking if you should block. You get a consensus to block and then you make every excuse in the book to why you won't block. It's insanity. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
BC1980 Posted July 24, 2014 Share Posted July 24, 2014 I'm still hesitant to block or unfriendly him. I've loved him for so many years it's hard to take that step. I have no problem ignoring his posts and I never go to his page. He still continues to like my posts, which is annoying, because we aren't speaking. It's been 11 days no contact, but every time I see his name on my page, I get tempted to call him. The only thing that stops me from calling is the thought that that's what he is trying to get me to do. If I call him, nothing will ever get better. I don't know if unfriending him will push him even further away. Also, I feel like it shows a level of caring to unfriend someone and I don't want him to think that I care at all. You have no problem ignoring his posts or going to his page, but it's tempting to see his "likes" or his name on your page. Still sounds like a problem. You feel that unfriending him will who him that you care, you don't want to project that to him. So you prioritize how you will possibly look to him over your own emotional well being. Sounds like a bad plan to me. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BC1980 Posted July 24, 2014 Share Posted July 24, 2014 I know he doesn't want to be with me, so why does he have to rub it in? I don't want to block him. Like I said, I don't read his posts, so why is he liking my posts about other guys? It just makes me feel bad. If he wants me to move on, why doesn't he just ignore my posts like I do his? He does it because you left the door open for him to do this. You enjoy the attention on some level and want him to see your posts. Link to post Share on other sites
Elle1975 Posted July 24, 2014 Share Posted July 24, 2014 I'm still hesitant to block or unfriendly him. I've loved him for so many years it's hard to take that step. I have no problem ignoring his posts and I never go to his page. He still continues to like my posts, which is annoying, because we aren't speaking. It's been 11 days no contact, but every time I see his name on my page, I get tempted to call him. The only thing that stops me from calling is the thought that that's what he is trying to get me to do. If I call him, nothing will ever get better. I don't know if unfriending him will push him even further away. Also, I feel like it shows a level of caring to unfriend someone and I don't want him to think that I care at all. You get tempted to call him because you're not in no contact. You keep him on your facebook. He posts comments, and like your photos. No contact means. no contact, at all. Yes, block him, instead of playing games, and not being able to move on. Link to post Share on other sites
FortunateSon Posted July 24, 2014 Share Posted July 24, 2014 Block him...you will be happy you did. Link to post Share on other sites
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