Purepony Posted June 22, 2014 Share Posted June 22, 2014 So over been dating my gf well x gf now for almost 2 years. In the beginning things where going well and normal then I started noticing things I didn't like around the 6day month mark but we stayed together. I tried breaking it off she would pull and then I'd give in. .. well this continued for a long time. She started building resentment because I work alot but I would try and balance things by taking her out anywhere she wanted or taking a trip out of state. The resentment grew and well I met another girl and she really treats me well, cares about my interest, tries to be involved something my x didn't do so I kept giving my x chances until Friday night when I took this girl home . Thursday 9pm: we make plans Thursday 1030 pm :she cancels plans to go hang our with my cousin 1130: I tell her I'm disappointed in how things are going and she says I'm crapping her out so I end the call with have fun good night then I block her number Friday we make plans, she flakes again. I don't hear from her till 4 pm and she says that she wants to see me instead of going with hee friends (yeah right, her friends flake )I I reply with I made plans have fun and I get my car ready and go out with the new girl. Friday 7pm were at a car show 1030 we get home watch the Simpsons and fall asleep 2am my door is being kicked and knocked like its swat but I realize its my gf, she gets upset and makes a scene and says were over and I reply its been over for months.. she leaves and that's that. I haven't emailed, text, or called and don't plan to but I do feel bad and wish things didn't go down like this but I was tired of being sad and she didn't care after so many chances so what was I left to do really? I guess I'm just venting.. ill do my only option which is no contact and just stay away. I do miss her but I know she doesn't really care about me at least the way she said she did.. I haven't heard from her since.. The only bright side is I'm not as broken up inside as with the prior relationships I could actually see this coming. Sorry about the bad grammar I'm at work ans typing on a small screen ... feel free to comment. Link to post Share on other sites
TylerDurdenn Posted June 22, 2014 Share Posted June 22, 2014 What did you get caught doing? Link to post Share on other sites
Omei Posted June 22, 2014 Share Posted June 22, 2014 If you wanna date other women break up with your current gf first, this "what am I left to do" bs when you're unhappy you break up before dating dont be a cowarding dick. 8 Link to post Share on other sites
April Moon Posted June 22, 2014 Share Posted June 22, 2014 He got caught cheating. Link to post Share on other sites
zen2475 Posted June 22, 2014 Share Posted June 22, 2014 So rather than communicate your concerns and trouble shoot your problems together as a couple, the best way to handle the situation is to cheat and find a justification for it. Good work. You don't deserve to be in a relationship with anyone. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
Griesfootball Posted June 22, 2014 Share Posted June 22, 2014 Stories like this make it hard for good guys to earn trust 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Purepony Posted June 22, 2014 Author Share Posted June 22, 2014 So rather than communicate your concerns and trouble shoot your problems together as a couple, the best way to handle the situation is to cheat and find a justification for it. Good work. You don't deserve to be in a relationship with anyone. I communicated this with her way before.. I really did. I'm not saying I'm right but in a way she did contribute to this. I know what I did, I knew what I had but you can only take so much before you completely give up. I feel guilty but I'm glad it happened as for the girl she caught me with....I'm not staying with her I need a break after all this. Link to post Share on other sites
marcjb Posted June 22, 2014 Share Posted June 22, 2014 (edited) So over been dating my gf well x gf now for almost 2 years. In the beginning things where going well and normal then I started noticing things I didn't like around the 6day month mark but we stayed together. I tried breaking it off she would pull and then I'd give in. .. well this continued for a long time. This is the honeymoon phase. It's going to happen in every relationship. Sometimes they last longer, sometimes they last shorter. The resentment grew and well I met another girl and she really treats me well, cares about my interest, tries to be involved something my x didn't do so I kept giving my x chances until Friday night when I took this girl home . Of course because this new person is NEW. They are always going to put on their best show to please you. Just wait until the honeymoon phase ends with this one. What are you going to do then? Meeting someone new while you're still in a relationship with someone is cheating. Get rid of both of them and sort yourself out before getting involved with someone else. You feeling like you need someone around that cares about your interests and being involved, showering you with attention? That all needs to be settled within yourself. Don't expect any relationship to last if you're just looking for attention. For someone that wants their partner to be involved and caring about your interests, did you put the effort in to reciprocate all of that to your ex? Don't expect any of this to change with your next relationship until you tackle what's really going on inside of you. Cheating is never the answer. Edited June 22, 2014 by marcjb 3 Link to post Share on other sites
zen2475 Posted June 22, 2014 Share Posted June 22, 2014 I'm not saying I'm right but in a way she did contribute to this. I know what I did, I knew what I had but you can only take so much before you completely give up. How did she contribute to you cheating? You finding someone else while you were in a relationship has nothing to do with your ex. Grow up. 7 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Purepony Posted June 22, 2014 Author Share Posted June 22, 2014 I was in a relationship for a few years and I never cheated I was never pushed to. She did her part and I was happy with who I had but I'm.not blaming it all-in her but I feel as though she contributed.. maybe my mistake was not explaining that to her but had o been happy I'd say I wouldn't have done this.. Now I have opportunities to cheat all the time I meet women everyday ...I've turned good looking women down because I'm in a relationship but this time I slipped Link to post Share on other sites
Author Purepony Posted June 22, 2014 Author Share Posted June 22, 2014 This is the honeymoon phase. It's going to happen in every relationship. Sometimes they last longer, sometimes they last shorter. Of course because this new person is NEW. They are always going to put on their best show to please you. Just wait until the honeymoon phase ends with this one. What are you going to do then? Meeting someone new while you're still in a relationship with someone is cheating. Get rid of both of them and sort yourself out before getting involved with someone else. You feeling like you need someone around that cares about your interests and being involved, showering you with attention? That all needs to be settled within yourself. Don't expect any relationship to last if you're just looking for attention. For someone that wants their partner to be involved and caring about your interests, did you put the effort in to reciprocate all of that to your ex? Don't expect any of this to change with your next relationship until you tackle what's really going on inside of you. Cheating is never the answer. I agree marc and thanks for the input. I really need sometime off This guilt is eating me up. Link to post Share on other sites
April Moon Posted June 22, 2014 Share Posted June 22, 2014 I was in a relationship for a few years and I never cheated I was never pushed to. She did her part and I was happy with who I had but I'm.not blaming it all-in her but I feel as though she contributed.. maybe my mistake was not explaining that to her but had o been happy I'd say I wouldn't have done this.. Now I have opportunities to cheat all the time I meet women everyday ...I've turned good looking women down because I'm in a relationship but this time I slipped No. If you felt this way and she didn't change, you should have broken up with her. She would have contributed to the break up. She did not contribute to you lying and betraying her. What you did was so wrong. Unfortunately, you can't see this because you got the result you wanted. The lesson you should learn is to become a mature adult and realize how you treat people. I'm sure she is hurt by your actions and you couldn't care less. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
zen2475 Posted June 22, 2014 Share Posted June 22, 2014 I was in a relationship for a few years and I never cheated I was never pushed to. She did her part and I was happy with who I had but I'm.not blaming it all-in her but I feel as though she contributed.. maybe my mistake was not explaining that to her but had o been happy I'd say I wouldn't have done this.. Now I have opportunities to cheat all the time I meet women everyday ...I've turned good looking women down because I'm in a relationship but this time I slipped You are right a relationship takes two, and she had her proportionate share of responsibility in what happened between you two. But you saw things early on in the relationship that you didn't like. That would have been the time to end things rather than continue just because she tried to influence you to stay. Breakups are painful, but sometimes you just have to face the music, realize that person isn't right for you, and respectfully end things and move on. Instead, you continued, but were not as fully invested as you should have been. You use the "work" excuse, and while you may have had a lot of work commitments, you made the choice to not be as into the relationship as you should have been, and she knew that. There is more to nurturing a relationship than taking someone places and treating them to things. Your behavior accordingly is actually pretty immature and passive-aggressive of you. It sounds like this relationship should have ended a long time ago, but you refuse to take responsibility for any of your actions. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ktya Posted June 22, 2014 Share Posted June 22, 2014 Op, I hear ya on the feeling like your being driven to cheat. I felt like that with my ex. I didnt go off landing other girls i kept it in my pants but my ex smelled it and was voraciously going through my phone, tablet, internet history, email, facebook to find proof of what i was up to. She didnt find anything because i wasnt doing it but it got so bad i eventually had to change all my passwords. Too many grillings about google searches. She just wasnt fun to be around. Shed mope and talk about all the problems bitch at me that i wanted to get away every few weeks to go hang out on my boat never had money and never left the house. No babysitter so it was 24/7 family time and the kid was bad for eavesdropping so practically impossible to have purely grown up time. She had really let herself go too, gained 70 lbs since i met her and wouldnt even go for walks. Had to give her a weeks notice to take her and the kid swimming because she hadnt shaved her legs in a month. Rarely was out of pyjamas almost never made herself up. The sex was limited because she wouldnt sleep at night so not in the bed at the right time. I went ape**** dating after we broke up. Man its good shes gone! Maybe multi date for a while once you get over your guilt. Dont let the peeps in thid thread bash you down too hard, its not a cool way to break up with someone but these things can and do happen. I had a BPD girlfriend a while back that was a monster to live with. A friend of mine broke up with her boyfriend and i just wanted to get out of my house. One thing led to another really fast i pounded that girl for 4 hours, it was the hottest sex ive ever had. No regrets, i took it as a sign that me and the girlfriend were done and dumped her the next day. What good friends are for lol. Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted June 22, 2014 Share Posted June 22, 2014 Trying to blame your gf for you being a lying cheater is BS. If you don't like your girlfriend and you want something else, be a man and break up with her. Don't play stupid games. I don't feel the least bit bad for you. 8 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Purepony Posted June 22, 2014 Author Share Posted June 22, 2014 Op, I hear ya on the feeling like your being driven to cheat. I felt like that with my ex. I didnt go off landing other girls i kept it in my pants but my ex smelled it and was voraciously going through my phone, tablet, internet history, email, facebook to find proof of what i was up to. She didnt find anything because i wasnt doing it but it got so bad i eventually had to change all my passwords. Too many grillings about google searches. She just wasnt fun to be around. Shed mope and talk about all the problems bitch at me that i wanted to get away every few weeks to go hang out on my boat never had money and never left the house. No babysitter so it was 24/7 family time and the kid was bad for eavesdropping so practically impossible to have purely grown up time. She had really let herself go too, gained 70 lbs since i met her and wouldnt even go for walks. Had to give her a weeks notice to take her and the kid swimming because she hadnt shaved her legs in a month. Rarely was out of pyjamas almost never made herself up. The sex was limited because she wouldnt sleep at night so not in the bed at the right time. I went ape**** dating after we broke up. Man its good shes gone! Maybe multi date for a while once you get over your guilt. Dont let the peeps in thid thread bash you down too hard, its not a cool way to break up with someone but these things can and do happen. I had a BPD girlfriend a while back that was a monster to live with. A friend of mine broke up with her boyfriend and i just wanted to get out of my house. One thing led to another really fast i pounded that girl for 4 hours, it was the hottest sex ive ever had. No regrets, i took it as a sign that me and the girlfriend were done and dumped her the next day. What good friends are for lol. You just summed everything that happened... I always going it interesting how these behaviiurs are common. Mine let herself go too if I wanted to work I'm the car or the house it was an issue, if I worked it was an issue. I already have girls coming over and spending the night, I'm on my third fwb relationship so I'm not waiting on anything or anyone.. I'm doing me for now. I don't let the bashers get to me but thanks for the support and the understanding Link to post Share on other sites
Author Purepony Posted June 22, 2014 Author Share Posted June 22, 2014 Trying to blame your gf for you being a lying cheater is BS. If you don't like your girlfriend and you want something else, be a man and break up with her. Don't play stupid games. I don't feel the least bit bad for you. Aww I was hoping you would *sad* Link to post Share on other sites
April Moon Posted June 22, 2014 Share Posted June 22, 2014 Aww I was hoping you would *sad* This attitude proves your immaturity. Why are you posting on here? To get an ego boost? To show us how many fwb you can get? Congratulations! It seems you got over your "guilty" feelings real quick. 9 Link to post Share on other sites
Griesfootball Posted June 22, 2014 Share Posted June 22, 2014 Going off of ktya different topic but how do you all feel about your other going through your phone? I usually don't mind when I have nothing to hide but after a while it's not cool Link to post Share on other sites
Author Purepony Posted June 23, 2014 Author Share Posted June 23, 2014 Going off of ktya different topic but how do you all feel about your other going through your phone? I usually don't mind when I have nothing to hide but after a while it's not cool I don't let anyone touch my phone.. its always locked and I'm real careful . Link to post Share on other sites
Author Purepony Posted June 23, 2014 Author Share Posted June 23, 2014 This attitude proves your immaturity. Why are you posting on here? To get an ego boost? To show us how many fwb you can get? Congratulations! It seems you got over your "guilty" feelings real quick. Thank you can I get my prize In case you didn't read I was venting.. not asking for your validation or approval but when you reply with something stupid then I will do the same. Link to post Share on other sites
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted June 23, 2014 Share Posted June 23, 2014 Thank you can I get my prize In case you didn't read I was venting.. not asking for your validation or approval but when you reply with something stupid then I will do the same. Maybe a journal would do you better. Rather than, you know, an opinion based forum. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Purepony Posted June 23, 2014 Author Share Posted June 23, 2014 Maybe a journal would do you better. Rather than, you know, an opinion based forum. I welcome all opinion and new friends are always welcomed Link to post Share on other sites
April Moon Posted June 23, 2014 Share Posted June 23, 2014 I welcome all opinion and new friends are always welcomed Apparently not. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Purepony Posted June 23, 2014 Author Share Posted June 23, 2014 Apparently not. Thank you April wine.. I mean April moon 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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