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Dating coworker, whose wife is dating my husband


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Since my separation back in January (husband initiated- left me for other woman) I have dated my coworker (ironically, the other woman my husband left me for is his wife- yep, true story). We have been on again, off again. Every time my co-worker "ends" it with me its because he says he is having a hard time with the entire situation (spousal swap?). There are also 4 children involved which complicates things. Well, we are "off" again. He ended it with me about a week ago saying he has to just be friends. We were good friends for a couple years leading up to this. However, he is now texting me non-stop as he did before. I don't know if he is worth waiting around for, or not. Is he just going through some personal things that he will eventually figure out? How do I convince him that this messed up situation doesn't have to be all bad and that our kids will be okay? Our kids LOVE each other and they love the 4 adults involved. he believes this is very bad for the kids and that it will "mess" them up. He has told me that I put him too close to the situation, but that he cares deeply for him and he wishes our spouses weren't dating so he could be happy with me. Somebody please help me! I am between a rock and a hard place. I don't know if I should cut all communication and move on with my life. Or, wait around and hope he figures it out. This an amazing guy we are talking about- completely my type and someone I could see being with for a very long time. How long does it typically take a person to "get over" (I say that lightly) a separation?

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Alexjones1

Yea should stop. Because your getting played by this guy.

 

He knows that his wife left first with your husband.

 

So he's trying to make her jealous.

 

If it's just no strings sex still doesn't matter.

 

Your making your own bed here with needles.

 

Goodluck.

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salparadise

You didn't detail the timeline, but it seems like the two of you may not have taken time to heal from the loss of your marriages. If you're rebounding to each other it's not likely to be a healthy situation and the prognosis for long-term is not good. And not only that, but trying to be in any relationship will prevent you from doing the work you need to do to prepare yourself for a healthy relationship in the future. What is your counselor saying about all of this?

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It's not worth it because he still clings to his ex...... And this whole situation has drama written all over it.

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