moving on

[Ericd90]

Hello,

 

Long story short me and my ex have been split up over 2 years now after a 3 year relationship, she left me for another guy because we fought a lot for the final 5-6 months of our relationship. We have a daughter from our relationship, she is 30 months and beautiful.

 

For a year after the break up i collected my daughter 3 times a weeek. This made it very hard for me to move on at the time because i was seeing my ex regularly. I finally had enough as i was becoming depressed and it was affecting everything such as my moods and i found it hard to be a father because i was so upset inside.

 

I arranged that my parents collected and dropped off my daughter instead and drop her off at my house so i couldn't see my ex. This is what i have been doing for the past 12 months i feel alot better and happier and have big plans for myself but recently i am finding it extremely hard, her and my mother recently went out for a lunch( my ex asked her) where my ex brought me up in a conversation saying to my mother that me and my ex ate in this cafe when were were together ,which has started making me think about her a lot again. Of course this wasn't the reason for them to meet it was a general chit chat about my daughter etc. and she was still in a relationship.

 

I miss her but i don't think i can forgive her deep down for leaving me for someone else, before i left her for no contact, i asked if she still liked me and she replied that she has something for me but its not the right time. She hasn't attempted to contact me and i haven't attempted to contact her in thoose 12months of NC, and i probably will never contact her. I have heard from word of mouth she is single again though.

 

Best part of all this is i still see my daughter 3-4 times a week without fail.

 

Any help would be welcomed just to keep me going and get through this rot that i have been in the past few days.

 

thanks

[realfriends]

Hello,

 

I miss her but i don't think i can forgive her deep down for leaving me for someone else,...

 

thanks

 

Listen, I know how you feel. My ex cheated on me. But eventually, if you want to heal and move on with your life, you are going to have to forgive her. Its hard to get yourself to understand why, and its even harder to do, but eventually when you reach that point, you will be at total indifference.

[Strength in Healing]

You're doing EXACTLY what you need to be brother. Being a great father, planning things to improve your life, and staying NC. You should be commended for being so intelligent and aware.

[Chi townD]

You're healing so keep on doing what you're doing. Don't worry about her. This was her choice, not yours.

 

 

Keep on making positive changes in your life. Make plans for you and your kid. Strike a deal and take your kid to Disney World or somewhere fun! Let her see that you are moving on without her and you're doing things with your daughter. Let her see that even though you two aren't together, she has no doubt that you are an awesome father. All women can respect that.

 

 

This isn't about you and her anymore. It's about you and your daughter. She's not in the picture.

[Ericd90]

Thanks very much for the advice guys. I think i will just continue focusing on my daughter and improving myself. I am healing but i just can't get over that final hurdle just yet, but im sure it will come one day. I'm planning to leave my job and go back to university to hopefully get a degree to open up some more career prospects down the line.

 

Thanks again

[Chi townD]

There ya go! You already got a gameplan together. So, see it through. Go back to school and get that degree!