BethBratson Posted April 24, 2014 Share Posted April 24, 2014 I can't tell if this was a disconnection trigger or not... When I dated my boyfriend for 2 years, he never really liked to talk about the future. I the topic of moving in together, our kids names somedays, or even marriage came up; he would shut down a little bit and ease into another topic. It wasn't like I wanted it right then and there, I just thought it'd be fun just to TALK about. Now I knew he wanted all of that someday, but right then and there didn't like to speak about it. Why? I remember he told me that we were both still young (Both of use being 21) and he just wanted to LIVE FOR THE MOMENT. Said that we should just enjoy what we have now. One time he said that the reason he didn't want to talk about marriage is because he couldn't promise that. He said he wanted it, but couldn't promise it because things can happen and that he didn't want to promise me something so special. Opinions? Link to post Share on other sites
Summerrose2013 Posted April 24, 2014 Share Posted April 24, 2014 I was listening to a radio programme the other day. They listed 5 ways to know your OH is not THE ONE. You guessed it, number 3 - he won't talk about the future. My ex was the same and we are 20+ years older than you, and guess what, he finished with me a month ago. You are young, please don't get yourself tied up in knots about this. Enjoy each day, but if you are ready to settle down and he is not, you have choices - you either WAIT it out, PUSH him and live with the decision which you may not like, or walk away from him. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Iguanna Posted April 24, 2014 Share Posted April 24, 2014 If he doesn't want to talk about the future, I don't want to talk about the present. Next.... Link to post Share on other sites
Cerulean Blue Posted April 24, 2014 Share Posted April 24, 2014 Yes. I have experienced the same thing with my ex. He always avoided talking about the future and guess what? He broke up with me because he couldn't commit. It's a huge red flag and you need to weigh up whether you're happy to continue with a relationship that is likely to have a use-by date. No one could guarantee a relationship will last a lifetime. But being able to at least THINK about the future is a crucial first step. Link to post Share on other sites
CadeYeager Posted April 24, 2014 Share Posted April 24, 2014 You're definitely going to get different opinions about this subject. Here is my stand... I don't think it was a commitment issue. I mean you two dated for what, 2 years? If that's not a huge hint that he's committed then I don't know what is. I always believed that what you do now is going to determine the future, and well... that's fact. He probably didn't feel comfortable talking about it because he didn't want to set up a future that didn't exist yet. In other words he didn't want to disappoint you if the course changes a bit in the "IDEAL PATH" you two have. I understand where you're coming from though. Link to post Share on other sites
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