yukra Posted April 23, 2014 Share Posted April 23, 2014 Hi there, my ex broke up with me about one year ago after 2.5 years relationship. It was a difficult relationship because we were at different maturity levels and I was in a difficult job situation that I didnt manage very well and allowed to fester between us. We were very strongly in love though. I am incapable till now to let him go, waking up everyday thinking of him. NC is impossible. He is my anchor and I feel very vulnerable without some sort of contact with him. We live in different countries now. He's been very decent about the breakup, told me clearly he was done and had moved on, that he will always love me but is not in love with me anymore. I feel I need closure, but I am clinging to the idea that we may get back together and have a better relationship. The separation was so hard that I have grown up in such a way that I feel much more mature to manage a relationship. It just seems too unfair that now that I am ready, he is gone. I am just wondering if miracles happen and people come back together. Has anyone managed to persuade an ex back? Cheers Link to post Share on other sites
David87 Posted April 23, 2014 Share Posted April 23, 2014 Yes miracles do happen, but only when you drop your anchor and set sail forget your past and move on. There's no other way. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
organizedchaos Posted April 23, 2014 Share Posted April 23, 2014 Hi there, my ex broke up with me about one year ago after 2.5 years relationship. It was a difficult relationship because we were at different maturity levels and I was in a difficult job situation that I didnt manage very well and allowed to fester between us. We were very strongly in love though. I am incapable till now to let him go, waking up everyday thinking of him. NC is impossible. He is my anchor and I feel very vulnerable without some sort of contact with him. We live in different countries now. He's been very decent about the breakup, told me clearly he was done and had moved on, that he will always love me but is not in love with me anymore. I feel I need closure, but I am clinging to the idea that we may get back together and have a better relationship. The separation was so hard that I have grown up in such a way that I feel much more mature to manage a relationship. It just seems too unfair that now that I am ready, he is gone. I am just wondering if miracles happen and people come back together. Has anyone managed to persuade an ex back? Cheers You live in different countries now. How far apart? Practically speaking, How would a reunion work in this situation? Link to post Share on other sites
Jiivy Posted April 23, 2014 Share Posted April 23, 2014 (edited) There's some horrible truth in David's post. Personally, since I was left for someone else...I've read literally hundreds of stories of reconciliation, of finding new people, of finding no people. My ex and I live in different countries, but we made it work for 6 out of our 7 years. We lived together for one - it's totally possible The more I read the more I realise that no situation or theory can EVER predict what's going to happen to you. There's sometimes a common theme, but your love is not common. The relationship, like you and your ex is totally individual and unique. I'm a rational guy - I absolutely HATE the idea of not knowing. Yet here I am, holding my hands up and saying in sorry...but you just won't know until the future plays itself out. Edited April 23, 2014 by Jiivy 5 Link to post Share on other sites
redbaron005 Posted April 23, 2014 Share Posted April 23, 2014 Yes miracles do happen, but only when you drop your anchor and set sail forget your past and move on. There's no other way. I think its lift your anchor to set sail. Just remember, sometimes in sailing you may have to move backwards to move forwards. Miracles do happen: Oracle Team USA pulled an amazing comeback over NZ last year. Keep your head up! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
David87 Posted April 23, 2014 Share Posted April 23, 2014 I think its lift your anchor to set sail. Just remember, sometimes in sailing you may have to move backwards to move forwards. Miracles do happen: Oracle Team USA pulled an amazing comeback over NZ last year. Keep your head up! At that time I had a different scenario in my head, the anchor was dropped and was holding the boat in a steady place. I meant to say drop the anchor as in cut the rope and se sail. (leave the anchor behind ) Link to post Share on other sites
Author yukra Posted April 23, 2014 Author Share Posted April 23, 2014 :-) Thanks all for your replies. I did get the "drop/lift the anchor" image and it is a "horrible truth". I know that rationally, but im still stuck emotionally. I must be stupid. Letting go is the hardest thing Link to post Share on other sites
KaliLove Posted April 23, 2014 Share Posted April 23, 2014 You can't persuade someone to be in love with you, so no, you won't be able to charm him back into being with you. If he came back it would have to be because he wanted to but you can't bank on that. You must move on. You're not stuck, you yourself admitted that you are clinging. Clinging is not stuck. Time to let go. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
redbaron005 Posted April 23, 2014 Share Posted April 23, 2014 I know that rationally, but im still stuck emotionally. I must be stupid. Letting go is the hardest thing Pshh you're not stupid, you're normal. In fact you are more awesome than normal. The harder it is to 'let go,' the more you can reassure yourself that you are truly capable of loving someone deeply. Its a good way to bridge your emotional side with your rational side. I meant to say drop the anchor as in cut the rope and se sail. That works too, its more dramatic! See there are multiple ways to move forwards (or backwards to move forwards)! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Jiivy Posted April 23, 2014 Share Posted April 23, 2014 (edited) Nope, not stupid. Your head and heart are in two different places. So are mine and 2 months later they're still playing the nastiest game of catch up I've played Welcome to the hell of unrequited love. Come, take a seat with me and let's get this NC self healing journey blazing! Edited April 23, 2014 by Jiivy Link to post Share on other sites
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