It's over after 5 and a half years..

[Papaya_mya]

So my boyfriend of 5 and a half years broke up with me about a week and a half ago. I though everything was going great. We were happy and I thought we were in love. We've talked about marriage and buying a house as a next step. He broke up with me because he said we are too different and I don't show a lot of affection. He kept saying that he wants his space. I have since found out that he met another girl and has been talking to, even while we were going out. I had my hunches on who it was because I did some instagram investigating and checked the phone records. It was confirmed by his best friend. My ex has shut me out and won't talk to me. He said he will still pay my phone bill until the contract is up (that's a year away) and he pinkie promised to be friends. He said he will still go to my college graduation which is 3 weeks away. He broke my heart and I can't stop thinking about him. I've tried giving him space but it's very difficult. He helped me through my mothers death (6 months ago). I can't seem to get over him. I need some advice.. It's pretty clear that it's over, he's found someone else and doesn't talk to me. Should I still invite him to my graduation? I want him to be there but part of me feels like he will just disappoint me. I even have a stole of gratitude to present him with. Should I get my phone in my name and try to move on? There's so many things I don't know about and thinking about them just made me more sad..

[STM206]

No, don't invite him to your graduation. How painful would it be to see him show up with the girl that he practically emotionally cheated on you with?

 

It was kind of him to help you through the loss of your mother but you don't owe him any favors.

 

I would really consider getting a new phone plan.

 

Break all ties... It's almost as if he thinks that paying your phone bill is a "look at me being a good guy still"

[Poppyolive]

i agree with above.

 

Hes not talking to you,

He dumbed you to seek out another girl,

Paying the phone plan is him trying to be the good guy...

 

Stand on your own two feet, sever all ties. your graduation is important to you, embrace it, enjoy it, don't mix in all the heartache.

 

Go no contact,

block him

take care of your heart, your loss of your mother was recent as is your loss of your partner, you really need to take sweet care of yourself. Surround yourself with friends, people who love you and got your back.

[Papaya_mya]

I've tried the no contact thing and it's difficult. I've texted him like twice and he doesn't reply so he's definitely making it easier. We have a lot of things to work out especially since my mom's name is on his car loan and she has past. He also owes me $300 on my credit card. It was more but the other day he gave me money when I went to his house to pick up the things I had there. That made it much more real.

 

I don't know if I should just chalk up the $300 and pay it myself and call the bank to get my moms name off the loan or should I just let things settle down and see what happens?

 

I'm really trying to do what's best for me and I'm trying to focus on school but I don't like being alone. I can't sit still and when I do leave the house I'm lonely. I have my friends but when I'm with them I feel like I'm physically there but I'm not mentally involved. I just feel numb and my emotions are all over the place.

[nightbird101]

wow. This is an almost idential story to mine (if not a few difference here and there for me...and that I'm a guy).

 

Right now I can't really give you any good advice since I'm currently in the same sticky situation. My break up happened...wow, this time 2 weeks ago.

 

I can't say I'm doing well but I am doing better than what i was 2 weeks ago xD. 2 days ago I finally mustered up the strength to remove my ex from Facebook, steam and my phone (even though I know her number off by heart). Its hard trust me but it does help with the temptation of contacting your ex.

 

this also reduces those random break down emotion swings (crying like crazy moments).

 

Anyway Good luck with things

[Justletgo]

Sucks so much. I know how it feels, the same sort of happened to me.

 

There is no hope really, accept that it's over and that he wasn't right for you if he leaves you for another just like that.

 

Try to keep giving him less thought as every day goes by. Don't invite him to things or give him special attention.

Show YOURSELF how strong you are and others will see it too.

 

It will be far more attractive that way.

 

Hope you get over this healthily and asap

[KatZee]

No, don't invite him to your graduation. How painful would it be to see him show up with the girl that he practically ABSOLUTELY emotionally cheated on you with?

 

As much as it's going to suck to hear this, the only thing you MUST do right now, is go complete NC and never speak to this person again.

 

He's been in your life for 6 years, obviously he cares about you and it's why he's not being vengeful or spiteful with the split. He's still saying he's going to pay your phone contract, and wants to support you when you graduate.

 

Although this seems all wonderful in his head, YOU'RE still in love with him and you're going to be looking into the deeper meaning of his actions all the time. Also, he cheated. Who knows if it was physical but it was absolutely emotional and that to me is the worst kind of cheating.

 

But if she was able to steal him from you, let her have him. Real men can't be stolen. (Or says some cheesy inspirational quote.)

 

The fact he's so easily able to toss you in the "just friends" category, is because he's felt platonic about the relationship for a while. This is why you need to be complete NC. Because he's already over it. He's moved on already.

 

I would tell him NOT to come to your graduation and honestly, I'd request the contract be put in my name, I wouldn't want to be tied to him in any way. Far too easy to start hearing about the new woman, or worse, actually witness it in real life.

[Papaya_mya]

So I posted on here about a month ago about my boyfriend and I breaking up. On day 4 of no contact, he texted me, and we started talking. Later that night were were back together and we talked about everything that needed to be worked on. Three weeks went by and we ended up breaking up again. I thought everything was going fine but then he started kind of pushing me away again. I saw him Sunday and haven't seen him since. We planned to see each other on Wednesday but then when he wasn't home I got upset. He said he would come to my house, but I was already mad and told him don't bother. We didn't argue or anything. He said he was sorry and that hopefully I would forgive him. I tried going to sleep mad but I couldn't so I called him and we started talking. It got to the point where we were talking about how he feels the relationship ended back to where it was the first time we broke up. I think it was going better this time. Mind you, we've been together for 5 and half years. It was mentioned as to whether he is in love with me or just loves me. He said he's been questioning that all day. We kind of agreed that over the years, we've basically just become friends. We still have the physical attraction but he's not in love with me. I'm in love with him and he can tell. We also talked about how we've matured since we started dating 17 and 18 years old. We have changed but I don't think these changes contributed to the lost in our relationship.

 

While working on our relationship the past 3 weeks, he said I was giving it my all but he was only contributing 50% and that I deserve better. I know I do but he's the one I love and then he kept asking if he was a bad person. He's not. He was just being honest with me, because last time he basically shut me out. We agreed to be friends and we've talked through text for a little bit the past 2 days but it does feel like we are only friends. I want to be more than that and be with him again. I need some advice on what to do. I'm hopelessly in love with someone who isn't in love with me.

[Papaya_mya]

So I posted on here about a month ago about my boyfriend and I breaking up. On day 4 of no contact, he texted me, and we started talking. Later that night were were back together and we talked about everything that needed to be worked on. Three weeks went by and we ended up breaking up again. I thought everything was going fine but then he started kind of pushing me away again. I saw him Sunday and haven't seen him since. We planned to see each other on Wednesday but then when he wasn't home I got upset. He said he would come to my house, but I was already mad and told him don't bother. We didn't argue or anything. He said he was sorry and that hopefully I would forgive him. I tried going to sleep mad but I couldn't so I called him and we started talking. It got to the point where we were talking about how he feels the relationship ended back to where it was the first time we broke up. I think it was going better this time. Mind you, we've been together for 5 and half years. It was mentioned as to whether he is in love with me or just loves me. He said he's been questioning that all day. We kind of agreed that over the years, we've basically just become friends. We still have the physical attraction but he's not in love with me. I'm in love with him and he can tell. We also talked about how we've matured since we started dating 17 and 18 years old. We have changed but I don't think these changes contributed to the lost in our relationship.

 

While working on our relationship the past 3 weeks, he said I was giving it my all but he was only contributing 50% and that I deserve better. I know I do but he's the one I love and then he kept asking if he was a bad person. He's not. He was just being honest with me, because last time he basically shut me out. We agreed to be friends and we've talked through text for a little bit the past 2 days but it does feel like we are only friends. I want to be more than that and be with him again. I need some advice on what to do. I'm hopelessly in love with someone who isn't in love with me.

[zen2475]

I'm sorry you are going through this and understand the pain you are feeling. Now is not the time to be friends with him because you have admitted you want more. Friendship can be accomplished at some point, but only after you have become truly ambivalent about him and any prospect of reconciliation. Being friends with him now will only cause you prolonged pain.

 

 

I think you need to focus on you and your healing. You can't make him change his mind and he needs time and space to really figure out how he feels about you. The way you do both is to go NC.

 

 

Remember, you deserve nothing less than someone who knows they love you and will put in 100%. Right now he can't give you that, and you need to honor what is best for you. Accepting anything less is settling and will only cause pain, resentment and frustration.

 

 

Biggest of hugs.

[BaselineLeaner]

You have to let go, as hard as that is. I just went through a breakup with my ex and we dated 4 years. She broke up with me and started dating a week later. I

Have gone full no contact since then and every day gets better. You can't be friends with someone you love or you'll drive yourself crazy. Delete him from every social media and don't talk to him. You need to move on to someone who actually wants to be with you and doesn't have to question it. You deserve to be loved by someone who wants to be with you and only you. His loss! And that's the way I felt about my ex. Her loss cause I was a good guy to her. Good luck!

[mantlefan]

Agree with a lot of what is said here. Him paying the phone bill is not for you, it's for him. Get a new phone company if you need to, get out and away wherever and whenever you can.

[jbelle6]

I'm sorry about this. 6 years is a long time but people really do grow a lot at that age and most don't end up together, but go on to meet even more amazing people. I think you need to go no contact for a while at least for your own sake. I'm sure one day you'll be friends. I was around the same age with my first guy, all of high school till my early 20's, we are wonderful friends now.

 

It's no ones fault, sometimes peoples feelings just change. And even if there was another girl he was talking to, I don't feel that had anything to do with it, because if he still had the feelings he had at the start for you he wouldn't have started talking to her in the first place. A lot of people want to blame it on them having someone else but I think that is more a symptom of the breakup and not the cause.

 

Good luck.

 

Just wanted to add that I'm not surprised you tried and broke up again, I think we all want our exes back on here but there is something broken in the relationship even though we wish it weren't so.