Will I feel that way again?

[STM206]

Hi guys,

 

I'm seeking reassurance today from people who have experienced love after heartbreak.

 

I still can't fathom the idea of someone loving me the way my ex did and even feeling the same way I did with my ex.

 

It's been 3 1/2 months since my ex packed up, moved across the country and fell back into the arms of his ex... After being with me for 4 years.

 

It kills me, knowing that I don't have him to share my life with anymore. Things don't feel the same, I'm always trying to occupy my mind with my phone, or talking to friends via text.

 

I am awful at meeting people, I get nervous and hate the thought of having to go through that whole "getting to know/trust" again.

 

I never really dated before my ex and I'm 28 now.

 

I miss having him in my life, he was such a huge part of my family as well, so everyone felt the pain when he left so abruptly.

[hoping2heal]

I still can't fathom the idea of someone loving me the way my ex did

 

It's been 3 1/2 months since my ex packed up, moved across the country and fell back into the arms of his ex... After being with me for 4 years.

 

 

Well, what do you mean?

Read sentence 2, and then refer to sentence 1. I would hope someone wouldn't love you like that again, I would hope someone would love you better.

 

 

and even feeling the same way I did with my ex.

 

 

 

I never really dated before my ex and I'm 28 now.

 

Which is part of the reason why this is hard for you. It's only been 3.5 months and you were together for 4 years. This person did a very large betrayal against you, so you have that to process along with losing someone you spent 4 years with. It's a lot and I'm sorry you're going through that pain at all. You have a lot to deal with before you'll be ready to start looking at new prospects. So, don't be surprised or upset by your feelings of not even wanting to try right now.

 

 

I miss having him in my life, he was such a huge part of my family as well, so everyone felt the pain when he left so abruptly.

 

That is understandable. After the way he hurt you and your family, I think the RS would never be the same again even if he were to show up a month later. I mean, if a man can leave you for someone else after 4 years then do you really think you'll ever be able to trust in him again? Sure, you'd have the "comfort" of having him back but that would only go so far before you started to feel anxious and bogged down by the negativity and worrying because this guy hurt you and your family, and who's to say he won't do it again? RS plagued by trust issues are an exercise in mental exhaustion and your happiness would soon be replaced.

 

It's hard to understand why people do hurtful things like this. But, there is better love out there.

[SadNLonley]

Im sure you've heard this over and over again, but at 28 Im sure you will find love again. It may not be today, but Im sure you will.

 

It is hard to fathom life without someone you have spent so much time with. One you thought you'd have forever. I am in the same situation. Our NC started 5 months ago. I just found out last week that he is now dating and doesnt ever think he could go back to a relationship with me It is hard to think about not having him in my future. He was my best friend and now he is cold to me.

 

I do question though if we were to get back together if we would be ok. After some time apart there would be questioning of his feelings for me all the time. I wonder if we would even have the comfort level we once had. I love him to death and he made life wonderful while he was in it, but could we have it back? Im starting to think NO. Its just not the same anymore.

 

Like you I do not look forward to starting all over again. Ive really only had 2 relationships in 22 years. I love to hear what others say. At 43 its not near as easy to meet single men.

 

You definitely dont need someone who will leave you after 4 years to go back to an old relationship. You deserve better than that.