hotpotato Posted April 19, 2014 Share Posted April 19, 2014 ...after nearly a year. I havent checked his facebook in months. Im not sure why I have the sudden urge. Everytime I have looked I have seen something that hurt me. I dont have to be friends with him or the new girl to see their relationship statuses. Back story. My boyfriend of 10 months broke up qith me seemingly out of the blue. The days before he broke up with me, I knew something was not right. We spent 4 months proximal and 6 months long distance. I was supposed to hop on a plan to see him in May, but he broke up with me in early me. So he was stringing me along leading me to believe that he wanted to see me. It turns out he was dating two women at once. He was talking to her for at least a few weeks before he dumped me. Heres the kicker- the new gf is from my state. I thought he had found someone local. Nope! Instead of flying me up there he flew her up there. He posted pictures of them together and changed his relationship status asap. He never changed his status for me, and we have no pictures together. I feel like im torruring myself. Link to post Share on other sites
zen2475 Posted April 19, 2014 Share Posted April 19, 2014 These urges will come from out of nowhere, but I think you realize checking is FB will only trigger you and cause you pain. Do something nice for yourself instead if you can, or just find something to keep you busy and ride the urge out. 7 Link to post Share on other sites
Always Pondering Posted April 19, 2014 Share Posted April 19, 2014 It's completely understandable but like zen said, checking your ex's Facebook will more than likely just create pain for you. Believe me, I have been guilty before (not anymore) of falling into the urge of checking my ex's Facebook and all I can tell you is every single time I did that, I regretted it immediately. It doesn't do you satisfaction, especially if you still have feelings or any regrets about the relationship. What I do nowadays if I ever get the urge to is immediately call an available friend and just hang out with them. Even if it's doing something simple like going to the park or playing some frisbee, it'll take your mind off of the urge and at the same time you don't even have to talk about it to your friend if you don't want to. Link to post Share on other sites
Arieswoman Posted April 19, 2014 Share Posted April 19, 2014 AP, I understand that you have a desire to "check-up" on your ex which is very natural but please try and resist the temptation. All you're doing is picking at an old scab and stopping it healing. Your bf acted like a two-timing, cheating jerk. Don't spend any more of your time and energy on him. Remember the old adage "If they cheat with you, they'll cheat on you". So her days could well be numbered. Good Luck 1 Link to post Share on other sites
FortunateSon Posted April 19, 2014 Share Posted April 19, 2014 I would suggest blocking your ex on FB, I did it at the beginning of the year to mine and it was a immediate relief. You will not be nearly as tempted to check and it is a process to unblock versus just looking the person up. As others have said NO possible good is going to come from checking it, why not eliminate the possibility and let go? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SadNLonley Posted April 19, 2014 Share Posted April 19, 2014 Please dont do it. Been there done that. It really only hurts. Brings back old memories and puts them back in your head. You will end up regreting that later. Promise Link to post Share on other sites
Author hotpotato Posted April 19, 2014 Author Share Posted April 19, 2014 I know it will hurt, but I still want to. Link to post Share on other sites
hoping2heal Posted April 19, 2014 Share Posted April 19, 2014 ...after nearly a year. I havent checked his facebook in months. Im not sure why I have the sudden urge. Everytime I have looked I have seen something that hurt me. I dont have to be friends with him or the new girl to see their relationship statuses. Back story. My boyfriend of 10 months broke up qith me seemingly out of the blue. The days before he broke up with me, I knew something was not right. We spent 4 months proximal and 6 months long distance. I was supposed to hop on a plan to see him in May, but he broke up with me in early me. So he was stringing me along leading me to believe that he wanted to see me. It turns out he was dating two women at once. He was talking to her for at least a few weeks before he dumped me. Heres the kicker- the new gf is from my state. I thought he had found someone local. Nope! Instead of flying me up there he flew her up there. He posted pictures of them together and changed his relationship status asap. He never changed his status for me, and we have no pictures together. I feel like im torruring myself. You are torturing yourself! I hope you will be able to realize soon what an absolute d!ck that guy is! (Sorry, no offense penises everywhere). I really feel sorry for some of the "new bf/gfs" of the LS dumpees dumpers. Some real rotten fruit out there and this guy is top of the bunch. Might be hard to see the forest through trees now, and I'm sure "you deserve better" gets old but my word! This guy is like captain of the peckerhead squad! He has actually done you a favor because you didn't spend more of your time and heart on this zero supremus (hehe E.T. reference). There are some extraordinary men out there and when you meet some of them, you will laugh that you ever shed a tear for this bonehead. Link to post Share on other sites
Elle1975 Posted April 19, 2014 Share Posted April 19, 2014 It turns out he was dating two women at once. That I feel like im torruring myself. And that Get away from the computer.. it's not going to help you, you stated it yourself. Do you want a cheater back in your life? You had no pictures, he never changed his status.. you know it's bad for you. Meet someone local, stop dwelling on the "what if". That's the best way to get stressed and anxious. Or maybe if we want to use the what if: "what if you don't go out..?" well you will never know if you could have met someone new, and obviously better for you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author hotpotato Posted April 20, 2014 Author Share Posted April 20, 2014 I dont necessarily want him back, but I cant hwlp but be curious. Most of the guys I date are not from the same state. Link to post Share on other sites
Elle1975 Posted April 20, 2014 Share Posted April 20, 2014 Why from a different state? I wouldn't check. But sometimes we need to learn the hard way. Link to post Share on other sites
Author hotpotato Posted April 20, 2014 Author Share Posted April 20, 2014 Why from a different state? I wouldn't check. But sometimes we need to learn the hard way. Most guys in my state are too overweight in my state. I live in the bible belt, and people tend to be big. Also, people marry early so most of the cute ones are taken. I havent checkee. I feel better. Link to post Share on other sites
gaius Posted April 20, 2014 Share Posted April 20, 2014 Should embrace your urges and check. After enough times getting burned you stop getting tempted to touch the fire. Or at least I did. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
arghzme Posted April 20, 2014 Share Posted April 20, 2014 DO NOT CHECK. Last time I checked, I ended up calling her at 2 am and started begging and pleading. And it makes me feel terrible. Just let it go. It was probably never meant to be. Link to post Share on other sites
Amelie1980 Posted April 20, 2014 Share Posted April 20, 2014 Similar story with me.... ex broke up with me out of nowhere. Found out from Facebook a year later it was another woman. I challenged him on it and he knew id been looking and he blocked me. if you block him, he will be very easy to unblock. if you really dont ever want to be able to look then why dont you contact him and challenge him on his cheating ways. Let him know you've looked and he will probably block you. If the other person blocks you there is nothing you can do. You can't ever look again. Link to post Share on other sites
Author hotpotato Posted April 20, 2014 Author Share Posted April 20, 2014 I dont think ill start begging and pleading. I didnt even do that when we were breaking up. I dont plan to challenge him on anything. Im sure he knows I know. When we broke up he assured me he was dating someone else. I wanted to believe him, but in my heart I knew he was lying. Guys dont usually break up with me to be single. Link to post Share on other sites
David87 Posted April 20, 2014 Share Posted April 20, 2014 I dont think ill start begging and pleading. I didnt even do that when we were breaking up. I dont plan to challenge him on anything. Im sure he knows I know. When we broke up he assured me he was dating someone else. I wanted to believe him, but in my heart I knew he was lying. Guys dont usually break up with me to be single. You can check his fb if that's what you feel you need to do. A whole year have passed.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author hotpotato Posted April 21, 2014 Author Share Posted April 21, 2014 Last night I had a dream they were getting married. Its the second time Ive had a dream like this. I cant wait to get over this hump. Link to post Share on other sites
Author hotpotato Posted April 24, 2014 Author Share Posted April 24, 2014 I feel better, and I didn't check. Thanks LS! I guess the holidays just had me feeling lonely. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts