Has this ever Happened to Anyone? On/Off relationship

[anemptycup]

Breaking up with someone one too many times - and they have no decided it's over, won't give it another shot and have lost trust in you even though they might still love you.

 

just curious if anyone else out there was in an On/Off relationship - and how many times they broke up / got back together before it finally ended?

 

 

i understand what i did was wrong - and not a day goes by i regret it - and i'm paying for it everyday - we were both in love (maybe still are - i still love her even 3 months after our break-up) and she might still love me - but i feel she is using her logic and trying to move past us... we broke up and got back together several times in the first 2 years - in May last year we had our first major break-up and got back together a month later - that lasted until November - we broke up again - and then got back together in December - and i broke up with her in January... and she's said enough is enough...

 

i know based on what i wrote above - it sounds terrible - but i haven't gone into detail - she has Adult ADHD - has totaled two cars in 2 years i knew her - lived in 6 different places - went through 5 different jobs - ADHD people have difficulties keeping focus, their jobs, their relationships.. and argue/fight a lot - on top of that, she loved male attention - all her friends are guys.. she was raised by a single mom with her big bro as her primary influence - unfortunately, i was insecure and jealous everytime she'd go out - once she went camping with a guy she had just met for the first time face to face after knowing online for a while.. and when she got back, she told me he hit on her..

 

i know i should not have felt insecure - but i did.. i love(d) her deeply and despite major incompatibilities we both were head over heels for each other... but i felt she was always more interested in having fun! than working on the challenges in our relationship... which often left me to calling it off - in an effort to get through to her (i know it was the wrong way)

[Onlyafterdark]

Same thing with me,we have split up separated around 6 times in our 14 years together.When i met her the guys was always knocking on her flat door for cigs etc.In our early days she locked me out as i walked home on a night out,i asked why at the door no answer so i said can i use the loo sort of took her key off her went in and a guy was fast asleep on her sofa.Her female friend was there also and after lisening to her explanation i gave her the benefit of the doubt.We did sit over silly things but the real biggy was the nite we split the very same night she brought a guy home, id rang her mum concerned she maybe upset her mum told me dont worry shes out with friends of ours.The next morning i went to pick my son up early to let her sleep the hangover off, she took a while answering the door then let me in,i went upstairs getting mu son ready when i noticed his bedroom door shut, i went in and a guy was in bed i walked out upset with my son.Anyway we talked i took her out for a meal she swore she had kissed him then wanted nothng else,we got back together but i still doubted her,as we got ready to go out one nite i heard her say upstairs to the sitter dont tell blah blah that this guy stayed in my bed ( a week ago she said he stayed in my sons bed).I took her out then told her id heard what she said hence we split up again, anyway two weeks went by and i saw her coming out of the local beer joint with this same guy i confronted them got my head kicked on she stood did nothing and walked off back to his,i was gutted stayed up till 4am crying the next day she called as though nothing happened.We ended up getting back together weeks later and 2 years later marrying but the insecurity and anger ate at me everynight.I lost my feelings for her became non affectionate etc, two weeks after we married we went out with friends got very drunk all came back to our house she had one friend who spent lots of time with her the bike as ppl knew her which i wasnt to happy about her being around my wife.Anyway this night my wife and her where being silly on the floor and a joke was made maybe they want each other.As the night drew to a close her friend said il stay over if u dont mind my wife said yeh fine,so she went and prepared herself for bed i to then decided to goto bed as i went into my room her friend jumped into bed saying im sleeping here, i asked a couple of times for her to leave but she didnt then my wife came in got into bed and i was like ok now funs over, i actually got the impression they were stiching me up, anyway i asked a couple of times more then said right well im getting in bed and me and my wife are making love so please can you go! I got into bed started kissing my wife then suddenly my wife started kissing her too, i was shocked and got out of the bed i went to the toilet and stood for a moment thinking.Then i heard moans and my rage was to stop this i walked into the room put the light on and her friend was obviously down south jumped up shocked i punched the wall told her to get the feck out! So yet again we split up my wifes choice as always, so as you can imagine here guys im losing my feelings again with now my wife after 2 mnths apart im back.Our next time apart came in june 2013 she had been on a charity walk told me it was from 10am till around 3pm dew drinks after and home but this turned out to be 3am then the next day shes out all day with her friend who loves to tan etc im stuck home with the kids as usual so i moan about gets the silent treatment same again the day after so i send a txt moaning her reply i cant do this anymore comes home im out the door the words i love u but im not in love with you.So the next 6mnths i do all the pleading etc all the wrong things have the children at hers whilst she goes out etc hoping it will change her mind.Doormat i guess me! Anyway leading upto xmas she decides she will try again so the next 2-3 mnths great i put lots of effort in new job then valentines night she gets a facebook message,her brother who shes met once in 30 years asks to meet her, whilst we was apart her auntie told me bad stuff about him so i tell my wife no i dont want to get to know him, the next month my wife sees him alot becomes distant with me i dont exist, i ask why then i get you wouldnt support me gettig to know him so im not sure how i feel about you anymore.Anyway i kept what i knew about her brother to myself let it go then one night i says to my wife ok il support you il get to know him etc, my wife says to late now keeps herself away from me spends all her time with him, at this point im getting paranoid if something is going on with them they have the same dad only. Then my wife asks me why i dont want to know him so i tell her i was doing it to protect her from the truth id get to him as ppl can change but my wife said well you already judged him so basically im now heading out the door yet again.My wife is one of these ppl that is all into somebody but can then drop them she has had a very hard upbringing suffered abuse sexually and in my opinion loves attention maybe even male attention as she never had a dad her real father died 10 years ago she met him once or twice.I love my wife so much ive always gine back everytime no matter what shes put me through and sometimes now looking back shes involved a guy everytime we split probably nothing in it but shes very good adds em on facebook,gets them to walk her home knowing im upstairs in bed as ive not always left our home. So insecure iam deflated with it ive no suelf resect left even now she cant understand why i txt angry messages then the next day loce messages im so ballsed up in my head please if anyones been with a woman like this or if theres ladies reading this please share your thoughts as this is one devastated guy hurting like hell