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Reasons my break up was a good thing


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This isn't just about me. EVERYONE needs to post here. I'll start though.

 

1. My ex treated me like garbage and I let him.

2. Now I'm free to find someone who actually wants to be with me.

3. Hopefully the next guy won't be so lazy in bed.

 

Ok, your turn..add to this list!

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Strength in Healing

Lazy.. in bed?

 

So are you, like, really proactive in bed? If so, hello

 

lol jk jk

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He would initiate but then expect me to do all the work. Every time!!! How would you like it if you were in bed with someone who just wanted to lay there while you did everything???

 

And you didn't contribute. Add to the list!

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Strength in Healing

I tried to edit my post so I didn't seem creepy even though I was kidding lol but it's too late.

 

ANYWAYS. To answer your question, that's uh, I mean, it would probably remind me of like having sex with an unconscious person, which IS creepy. If I were you I mean I would probably feel I dodged a bullet.

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I do feel that way. He was also emotionally abusive and had several personality disorders.

 

BUT YOU STILL DIDN'T CONTRIBUTE! Why was your break up a good thing?

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Strength in Healing

I specialize in personality disorders. What did he have?

 

But mine had personality disorders too. Well, one... borderline.

 

And she was bipolar.

 

 

 

It was good it's over because clearly the girl I thought she was, she WASN'T. I created an image in my head, put her on a pedastool, to which she RIPPED herself down from in a dramatic fashion. Now my glasses are off and my vision was never clearer.

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I believe (per my therapist) that my ex has a lovely mixed bag of disorders including, but not limited to, NPD, BPD, depression, and severe anxiety (I've held his hand through anxiety attacks before and it's scary). He is currently on 6 different psychotropic medications for depression and anxiety prescribed by several different doctors which he regulates the dosages of himself. According to him, he's been told by multiple psychologists and psychiatrists that he doesn't need therapy. He is the most selfish person I've ever met in my entire life.

 

Fun times!!!

Edited by KaliLove
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hermitinator

cons

 

Was not kind or showed compassion

Very blunt in his advice

No concern to what I needed but his opinion of what I needed

No job & a criminal record

Always late & running after the bus

An alcoholic

Dreamer - talks the talk but no action to apply himself

Spending last cash on beer - always

No respect for me - obligated to have sex when I don't want to

Always visiting him - spending $ and time for him

Doesn't treat me - is cheap

Very passive aggressive - is not open or communicates

Occasionally has asked for money & spends half of it on alcohol

Always interrupts or talks over me

Does not listen to what I am actually saying instead wants me to hear his interpretation of what I said

Farts all the time - is obscene about it - does not apologize

Sometimes he treats me poorly in public, in front of his friends

Is an adult child

Edited by hermitinator
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Strength in Healing
I believe (per my therapist) that my ex has a lovely mixed bag of disorders including, but not limited to, NPD, BPD, depression, and severe anxiety (I've held his hand through anxiety attacks before and it's scary). He is currently on 6 different psychotropic medications for depression and anxiety prescribed by several different doctors which he regulates the dosages of himself. According to him, he's been told by multiple psychologists and psychiatrists that he doesn't need therapy. He is the most selfish person I've ever met in my entire life.

 

Fun times!!!

 

 

Lol OH lawd that's no joke...

 

I am not convinced he is NPD though because generally, someone with NPD would never seek nor accept help unless solely to manipulate someone or something.

 

But none the less, sounds like you dodged a missile

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Grumpybutfun

My reasons are many, but the best one is that they just weren't my wife and she is the best woman I know in every way.

Good thread, kali, very positive,

Grumps

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Lol OH lawd that's no joke...

 

I am not convinced he is NPD though because generally, someone with NPD would never seek nor accept help unless solely to manipulate someone or something.

 

But none the less, sounds like you dodged a missile

 

He only sought help because of his crippling panic attacks. Otherwise he never would have. He refuses to admit he needs help now.

 

There's also a lot more..but I don't really feel like talking about it because it's in the past!!

 

I dodged nuclear war. :)

 

Thanks Grumpy!! I hope it helps people.

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cons

 

Was not kind or showed compassion

Very blunt in his advice

No concern to what I needed but his opinion of what I needed

No job & a criminal record

Always late & running after the bus

An alcoholic

Dreamer - talks the talk but no action to apply himself

Spending last cash on beer - always

No respect for me - obligated to have sex when I don't want to

Always visiting him - spending $ and time for him

Doesn't treat me - is cheap

Very passive aggressive - is not open or communicates

Occasionally has asked for money & spends half of it on alcohol

Always interrupts or talks over me

Does not listen to what I am actually saying instead wants me to hear his interpretation of what I said

Farts all the time - is obscene about it - does not apologize

Sometimes he treats me poorly in public, in front of his friends

Is an adult child

 

Good post Herm!!

 

Ok, the farting..I have to admit that made me laugh, but only because I can relate. I went on a date a few weeks ago with a guy who thought it was hilarious to aim his ass at our waitress and fart loudly as she was passing by. Apparently he thought that would charm me. Then he proceeded to get wasted and tell me he was in love with me. This was our third date.

 

There was not a fourth...

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He only sought help because of his crippling panic attacks. Otherwise he never would have. He refuses to admit he needs help now.

 

There's also a lot more..but I don't really feel like talking about it because it's in the past!!

 

I dodged nuclear war. :)

 

Thanks Grumpy!! I hope it helps people.

 

SIH..once we can both PM, I'd be happy to share more details if you feel like analyzing. Hehe

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hermitinator
Good post Herm!!

 

Ok, the farting..I have to admit that made me laugh, but only because I can relate. I went on a date a few weeks ago with a guy who thought it was hilarious to aim his ass at our waitress and fart loudly as she was passing by. Apparently he thought that would charm me. Then he proceeded to get wasted and tell me he was in love with me. This was our third date.

 

There was not a fourth...

 

 

 

Ugh, disgusting! I would have taken a cab home, but tipped the waitress an outrageous amount first.

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1. My ex thought that she was better than me in any possible way.

2. She was a narcissistic and manipulative b***(sweet girl)

3. Never appreciate the things I've done for her.

4. She took away 3 plus 1.5 years of my life that I could have spent finding my true love.

5. She turned me from the most confident man on te face of the earth into a wimp( I've recovered :D)

6. She bossed me around all the time.

7. She was just a mean person, very hartles and careless.

 

Thise are all the cons. She had qualities to but I will keep them for another thread.

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She tipped me in the right direction to become the man I always wanted to be.

 

If she didn't dump me, I would still be grumpy, depressed, deliberately victimized wimp

my parents tried to make me into.

 

I didn't have my beautiful animal.

 

I wouldn't find my passion in web development.

 

Why don't I just turn in another way after so much time.

 

Instagram

 

I don't slander her not because she is ideal.

 

She is not. She was childish and has a history of passive aggressive behavior.

 

But that ultimately led to a good things in my life.

 

Oh, and a way she does /truncate brain on me.

Edited by erklat
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After dumping me, my ex told me she had one foot out the door for the entire two years, after I went to the ends of the earth to make her life easier to get her masters degree.

 

This and too many other things to mention.

 

Sad thing is I still miss and crave her 4 months later. Like crack cocaine.

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Good post Herm!!

 

Ok, the farting..I have to admit that made me laugh, but only because I can relate. I went on a date a few weeks ago with a guy who thought it was hilarious to aim his ass at our waitress and fart loudly as she was passing by. Apparently he thought that would charm me. Then he proceeded to get wasted and tell me he was in love with me. This was our third date.

 

There was not a fourth...

 

I've certainly made my mistakes while on a date, but that's just way over the top. I'm sorry, KaliLove. I don't understand how anyone would have found that to be attractive.

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I've certainly made my mistakes while on a date, but that's just way over the top. I'm sorry, KaliLove. I don't understand how anyone would have found that to be attractive.

 

Ha, it's ok..I'm over it now. I wasn't really into the guy anyway..the third date was his last chance to impress and he CLEARLY failed miserably. I don't know any lady who would find that funny except my friend's 3 year old daughter, but even she has better manners than that.

 

 

I got a funny story to share out of it though. :)

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BLINDERS OFF:

 

I can date mentally healthy people

I can date people who will be on time.

I can date people who can eat without getting sick.

I made new friends!

I am learning how to play the ukulele!

 

I can date people who are good for me, and not just good to me.

 

Deep down, he's a good guy. But we're incompatible.

Edited by elseaacych
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I don't have to feel like a shameful embarrassing secret - he couldn't be honest with anyone about our relationship (big age gap)

I don't have to wait for the inevitable axe to fall

I don't have to fake it when he couldn't be bothered to make the sex work for me too

I don't have to keep checking what he's asking the Yahoo community about our relationship

There was a lot of farting (but not at waitresses)

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Just want to make sure we are clear here..the farting guy was NEVER a boyfriend. We went out 3 times. I would never!!!!!

 

Yay for everyone who has posted. I hope more do!

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A broken engagement is better than a broken marriage.

He has issues with depression and addiction (nothing illegal). It was draining when he relapsed.

He was never in love with me. I deserve to be with someone who is in love with me.

He didn't love me like I've loved him. I deserve to be with someone who loves me like I love him.

I was a doormat with him. Not gonna happen again.

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Good girl Soosh..proud of you.

 

PS...I am TOTALLY in like with the new guy...he texted me tonight and said that I am the best thing in his life right now and he adores me, but he's also happy to take things as slow as I want. Mmmmm..he's so cute and sweet...

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