H245 Posted January 22, 2014 Share Posted January 22, 2014 Tonight my ex texted me. Need some advice on how to handle. Her: My W2 should be arriving this week. Please mail anything that has come for me to: <insert address here> Me: Ok Her: Thank you Her: Have I done something wrong? I was very surprised to see that you blocked me on fb. I have no idea how to respond. Part of me does not want to be disrespectful and completely ignore it since I am bound to see her at mutual friend events in the future. But I also think I need to choose my words carefully so that she does not get any power over me. Thoughts? I'm going to sleep on it too. Link to post Share on other sites
Ordinaryday Posted January 22, 2014 Share Posted January 22, 2014 Tonight my ex texted me. Need some advice on how to handle. Her: My W2 should be arriving this week. Please mail anything that has come for me to: <insert address here> Me: Ok Her: Thank you Her: Have I done something wrong? I was very surprised to see that you blocked me on fb. I have no idea how to respond. Part of me does not want to be disrespectful and completely ignore it since I am bound to see her at mutual friend events in the future. But I also think I need to choose my words carefully so that she does not get any power over me. Thoughts? I'm going to sleep on it too. If she was the dumper (I take it she was) and you don't want any animosity between you two, respond with something simple like "I just feel it would be better for both of us if we didn't talk on fb for awhile, and it will help me move on. I hope you understand". if she cares about you she WILL understand. if she responds with something like "no, that is NOT okay. I still need you as a friend and shoulder to cry on" then she is just being completely selfish... and you are better off without her. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
pickflicker Posted January 22, 2014 Share Posted January 22, 2014 Tonight my ex texted me. Need some advice on how to handle. Her: My W2 should be arriving this week. Please mail anything that has come for me to: <insert address here> Me: Ok Her: Thank you Her: Have I done something wrong? I was very surprised to see that you blocked me on fb. I have no idea how to respond. Part of me does not want to be disrespectful and completely ignore it since I am bound to see her at mutual friend events in the future. But I also think I need to choose my words carefully so that she does not get any power over me. Thoughts? I'm going to sleep on it too. Nope, no answer! Mail the stuff to her with no note. You took care of business, she's attempted to steer the convo into personal, which is where you stop. No response. It's GREAT to hear you didn't respond to the attempt at personal enquiry. Keep it that way! 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Author H245 Posted January 22, 2014 Author Share Posted January 22, 2014 I was the dumper since she I caught her doing some shady things. Though after everything was said and done, I think I am the dumpee because she looked to have been checked out of the relationship. If you check my threads, there's a ton of information as to what happened. Link to post Share on other sites
Ordinaryday Posted January 22, 2014 Share Posted January 22, 2014 Nope, no answer! Mail the stuff to her with no note. You took care of business, she's attempted to steer the convo into personal, which is where you stop. No response. It's GREAT to hear you didn't respond to the attempt at personal enquiry. Keep it that way! this is a problem I have often encountered when you see the ex out publicly or something. you will deliberately not say anything personal, ask personal questions about how she is going or even mention the break up... but THEY DO! They will put you on the spot by asking "how have you been since the break up?". this is why I maintain 100% no contact, not even a ten second small talk chat, NOTHING! Link to post Share on other sites
chris21422 Posted January 22, 2014 Share Posted January 22, 2014 Bro don't reply nothing good will come out of it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author H245 Posted January 22, 2014 Author Share Posted January 22, 2014 To add, she did text me at 3:20am Friday asking if it was necessary I deleted her off FB. Not sure if I should respond with what Ordinaryday said and let her know it's best we not talk for a while. It's not like she's been making a huge effort to communicate to me outside of me mailing her her mail and her paying me back money she owes me. Probably stick to NC. If she doesn't realize why I had to do it or what she did wrong, then I dunno...probably wants to keep tabs on me. Link to post Share on other sites
pickflicker Posted January 22, 2014 Share Posted January 22, 2014 To add, she did text me at 3:20am Friday asking if it was necessary I deleted her off FB. Not sure if I should respond with what Ordinaryday said and let her know it's best we not talk for a while. It's not like she's been making a huge effort to communicate to me outside of me mailing her her mail and her paying me back money she owes me. Probably stick to NC. If she doesn't realize why I had to do it or what she did wrong, then I dunno...probably wants to keep tabs on me. If the business end of things has been taken care of, don't respond to the rest. Good luck! :-) Link to post Share on other sites
Author H245 Posted January 22, 2014 Author Share Posted January 22, 2014 She still owes me a sizeable chunk of money so I don't really want to piss her off. But at the same time I am not going to respond to something silly like FB blocking. She has multiple ways of reaching me. Ironically...I don't feel a setback from the text... Link to post Share on other sites
erklat Posted January 22, 2014 Share Posted January 22, 2014 You don't respond. You don't owe her anything, including civility. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Arieswoman Posted January 22, 2014 Share Posted January 22, 2014 She's on a fishing expedition. Either don't respond or Her: Have I done something wrong? I was very surprised to see that you blocked me on fb. "You are an ex and I would like you to stay that way. Please don't contact me again." Then go NC. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ithappenedagain Posted January 22, 2014 Share Posted January 22, 2014 If you want a setback, go ahead and give her what she wants.. A response. If you want to heal, continue with hardcore no contact. Mail her W2 back to her like she said, and then continue on with your life. As for the money she owes you... Ask a friend, or family member to be your middle man. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted January 22, 2014 Share Posted January 22, 2014 I agree, she's fishing under the guise of the W2 to try and ask for the second time why she was blocked. Ignore it, move on. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
barky2 Posted January 22, 2014 Share Posted January 22, 2014 Size able chunk of money? Have you made arrangements to get it paid to you? That should be first and foremost. I wouldn't reply to her fb fishing attempt, but if you'd like to get paid keep it business like and ask when youll be getting paid. Then finish the convo with as soon as your w2 comes I'll send it. And leave it alone. Barky Link to post Share on other sites
julzfromsa Posted January 22, 2014 Share Posted January 22, 2014 dude, get your money. Other than that she should disappear from you life. Respond to nothing, say nothing, don't be nice, don't do anything. Strict NC dude! Block her on everything. Breadcrumbs are BS and they are there to break your heart. Stay away from it Julz Link to post Share on other sites
songbyrd Posted January 22, 2014 Share Posted January 22, 2014 My ex has been going crazy since I went NC and also used the excuse of needing his w2's. I have not replied to any brradcrumbs and I won't until I get a loaf, lol. Stay strong!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author H245 Posted January 23, 2014 Author Share Posted January 23, 2014 I ended up mailing her W2 forms from work and never responded. I feel regardless of what response I gave her, it would lead to her getting the upper hand. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
ithappenedagain Posted January 23, 2014 Share Posted January 23, 2014 I ended up mailing her W2 forms from work and never responded. I feel regardless of what response I gave her, it would lead to her getting the upper hand. Good job man. I am proud of you.. Now for the money... If it's a large amount of money, than I can definitely see why you would want it back. As I stated earlier.. Ask a friend, or a family member to reach out to her to make payment arrangements.. Trust me. Once she see's that you are having someone else be the ''middle man'' she will get it. Hell.. My ex threw me a text message last night saying that I forgot my iPad at our old place (I just moved out yesterday - read my story if you are interested).. I didnt respond... Earlier today, she sent a message to my sister stating the same thing... Was I at all worried about my $400 iPad.. NO. I just asked my friend to set up arrangements to pick it up.. And he did. I would suggest the same for your money.. Link to post Share on other sites
Sandy99 Posted January 23, 2014 Share Posted January 23, 2014 I think the most non-committal, blase way to respond to questions about being blocked on Facebook would be just to play dumb. Maybe respond with something like, "oh really, huh...let me check that." And then just do nothing. Nobody deserves an explanation for why they were deleted or blocked on Facebook if they broke up with you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author H245 Posted January 23, 2014 Author Share Posted January 23, 2014 I ended up breaking down and responding to her text. I can thank the few drinks I had with my friend last night. Kept it brief that I had a lot of mixed feelings/emotions towards her and towards how the relationship ended. She thanked me for giving her an answer and proceeded to tell me that she is no longer moving away and that I may see her out once in a while. I never responded because there was nothing left to say. I have fully realized based on the convo that she has fully moved on after 3 weeks BU. While I do feel set back a bit, I don't feel back at square one as I had already mentally believed her to have moved on. Anyhoo...Day 1 NC again 1 Link to post Share on other sites
xUnknown Posted January 23, 2014 Share Posted January 23, 2014 I ended up breaking down and responding to her text. I can thank the few drinks I had with my friend last night. Kept it brief that I had a lot of mixed feelings/emotions towards her and towards how the relationship ended. She thanked me for giving her an answer and proceeded to tell me that she is no longer moving away and that I may see her out once in a while. I never responded because there was nothing left to say. I have fully realized based on the convo that she has fully moved on after 3 weeks BU. While I do feel set back a bit, I don't feel back at square one as I had already mentally believed her to have moved on. Anyhoo...Day 1 NC again She isn't moved on bro. She's feeling it too. That's why she thanked you for a response, because the silence was killing her. But, thats what NC is supposed to do. Its supposed to help YOU get over her, not the other way around. You broke NC and gave her a breath of fresh air. No worries though, it happens, just start over again. But go strict NC. Its your time now. This is about you. You don't owe your ex anything. She's feeling it too, just as you are. Know that...then 1 week from now, think of it as, look at how much better I'm doing...I know I'm doing so much better than her and doing better without her in your life. This positive attitude will reinforce it all in your head and will help you continue with the NC for a quicker recovery. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
xUnknown Posted January 23, 2014 Share Posted January 23, 2014 The only thing she has the upper hand on is that she started healing before you did. She is nowhere over you, she's putting up a front. So, do the same thing right back. Build that wall up by NC. She'll see that you aren't putting up with her **** anymore and taking steps forward for yourself. You aren't dwelling on her anymore because it is a waste of energy, its useless...you don't need that stress. Keep your chin up. You're on the right track. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author H245 Posted January 23, 2014 Author Share Posted January 23, 2014 Thanks for the encouragement. I know I will see her around at mutual events since we have all the same friends. But for now I will be skipping out on them. Link to post Share on other sites
jphcbpa Posted January 23, 2014 Share Posted January 23, 2014 Its your time now. This is about you. You don't owe your ex anything. doing better without her in your life. preach it brother!!!! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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