littlemissc2014 Posted January 10, 2014 Share Posted January 10, 2014 (edited) Hi Everyone, I've been in a relationship with a guy for a few weeks now (I know it's nothing significant however it was very deep) He's 40 and I'm 27. Over christmas he was with his family, we spoke often via text and everything was perfect. Oneday I had a message from a women on facebook who asked me if I was his girlfriend because she was!!! It turned out he had dated this women prior to myself (not exclusive) and instead of saying hey I've met someone else he simply didn't tell her and carried on texting her every day things nothing sexual or lovey dovey, told her he was too busy at work to be in a relationship and blocked her on facebook! Her friend searched for him and found him in a relationship with me hence the message. She said that she noticed him withdrawing (obviously because he was busy talking to me) and this has now stuck in my mind. Although I don't think I am feeling things that aren't there. After all what's a relationship with almost zero communication! Since going back to work (he works around 40 miles away) he seems to have faded away entirely. I saw him last Sunday and thing's were amazing however everything has faded. Before when I would text him I would have an almost instant reply oor when he could (I use imessage so it says when he has read it) However now he seems to read them and then not reply for 2 hours. He tells me he doesn't have much on at work workwise unless he's working away, I have asked him why so silent I am the type of person to talk about it rather than let it go and have tension and he said he was busier in work. fiine, ok, make's sense. However you'd think I'd hear from him on a night time and I think things may be even worse then! His communication is now short mostly 3 word replies) he seems to lack any interest in what I am doing and seems to not bother wanting to tell me about his day either. As we were so close this has come as a major kicker to me. It feels like he has completely withdrawn from me and despite me asking a second time he maintains there is nothing wrong with us. I am not typically needy or worrisome however I'm frustrated now. I feel neglected, pushed to the side and ignored. We had plans tonight however I informed him I could either come and stay over but had to be home by 12 tomorrow (childcare) or we would have to reshedule. The reply I got was "ok" I have heard nothing since although he's not too busy to be on facebook I'm at a complete loss at to what to do here I don't want to chase after him, he doesn't deserve it and I get more chat back from my 1 year old. However I don't want to say hey it's over I am tired of being ignored either. HELP ME PLEASE Edited January 10, 2014 by littlemissc2014 Link to post Share on other sites
Fufu Posted January 10, 2014 Share Posted January 10, 2014 Hi Everyone, I've been in a relationship with a guy for a few weeks now (I know it's nothing significant however it was very deep) He's 40 and I'm 27. Over christmas he was with his family, we spoke often via text and everything was perfect. Oneday I had a message from a women on facebook who asked me if I was his girlfriend because she was!!! It turned out he had dated this women prior to myself (not exclusive) and instead of saying hey I've met someone else he simply didn't tell her and carried on texting her every day things nothing sexual or lovey dovey, told her he was too busy at work to be in a relationship and blocked her on facebook! Her friend searched for him and found him in a relationship with me hence the message. She said that she noticed him withdrawing (obviously because he was busy talking to me) and this has now stuck in my mind. Although I don't think I am feeling things that aren't there. After all what's a relationship with almost zero communication! Since going back to work (he works around 40 miles away) he seems to have faded away entirely. I saw him last Sunday and thing's were amazing however everything has faded. Before when I would text him I would have an almost instant reply oor when he could (I use imessage so it says when he has read it) However now he seems to read them and then not reply for 2 hours. He tells me he doesn't have much on at work workwise unless he's working away, I have asked him why so silent I am the type of person to talk about it rather than let it go and have tension and he said he was busier in work. fiine, ok, make's sense. However you'd think I'd hear from him on a night time and I think things may be even worse then! His communication is now short mostly 3 word replies) he seems to lack any interest in what I am doing and seems to not bother wanting to tell me about his day either. As we were so close this has come as a major kicker to me. It feels like he has completely withdrawn from me and despite me asking a second time he maintains there is nothing wrong with us. I am not typically needy or worrisome however I'm frustrated now. I feel neglected, pushed to the side and ignored. We had plans tonight however I informed him I could either come and stay over but had to be home by 12 tomorrow (childcare) or we would have to reshedule. The reply I got was "ok" I have heard nothing since although he's not too busy to be on facebook I'm at a complete loss at to what to do here I don't want to chase after him, he doesn't deserve it and I get more chat back from my 1 year old. However I don't want to say hey it's over I am tired of being ignored either. HELP ME PLEASE All i can say is this relationship doesn't sound right at all. Run if I am you! It's only few weeks, and there are so many red flags already. Link to post Share on other sites
Author littlemissc2014 Posted January 10, 2014 Author Share Posted January 10, 2014 Well I just randomly looked at my phone and there is text. The text says this I have been thinking about and your right what you said lastnight. this isn't how a relationship should be and its not fir n you. I'll be moving home soon (he's about to get out of the royal airforce in 7 months and move 5 hours away) I'll be moving home soon finding a job and somewhere to live. i think it is the wrong time to get into a relationship with so much going on, i can't give you the attention that comes with being in a relationship that's not fair. I'm sorry I guess it is over... All I can think is what a ****ing coward Link to post Share on other sites
Fufu Posted January 10, 2014 Share Posted January 10, 2014 Well I just randomly looked at my phone and there is text. The text says this I have been thinking about and your right what you said lastnight. this isn't how a relationship should be and its not fir n you. I'll be moving home soon (he's about to get out of the royal airforce in 7 months and move 5 hours away) I'll be moving home soon finding a job and somewhere to live. i think it is the wrong time to get into a relationship with so much going on, i can't give you the attention that comes with being in a relationship that's not fair. I'm sorry I guess it is over... All I can think is what a ****ing coward It's a bless in disguise. The earlier he ended with you, the better it is for you. Be glad he doesn't string you along. There are people out there who are so evil that they refuse to let go of their ex for real (after dumping them) You will see so many cases on people here being strung along. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author littlemissc2014 Posted January 10, 2014 Author Share Posted January 10, 2014 I feel very strung along. Although it doesn't hurt as much as my longer break ups I believed in him. He told me he loved me and I was falling for him. He knew my past, he knew men had treated me so badly you wouldn't believe yet he did it too. I'm sure eventually I'll see it as a blessing. I just sent him a reply saying thanks for being honest about not being bothered, thanks for allowing me to defend your horrible actions, thanks for lying about loving me and thanks for finally bothering to text me. You'd think at 40 he would have his stuff together. seems not. Link to post Share on other sites
Fufu Posted January 10, 2014 Share Posted January 10, 2014 I feel very strung along. Although it doesn't hurt as much as my longer break ups I believed in him. He told me he loved me and I was falling for him. He knew my past, he knew men had treated me so badly you wouldn't believe yet he did it too. I'm sure eventually I'll see it as a blessing. I just sent him a reply saying thanks for being honest about not being bothered, thanks for allowing me to defend your horrible actions, thanks for lying about loving me and thanks for finally bothering to text me. You'd think at 40 he would have his stuff together. seems not. You can move on from him. I believe in you. Age is just a number at the end of the day. Link to post Share on other sites
Author littlemissc2014 Posted January 10, 2014 Author Share Posted January 10, 2014 It's funny. Earlier I was hurt and annoyed that he had the cheek to make more excuses rather than just saying "hey this ain't working" Now after days and days of being on edge, my brain driving me crazy and me feeling anxious and paranoid. I feel calm. I don't have that horrible feeling in my gut anymore. I have nothing to worry about. I'm sad, it's hard to go from someone being around often to just being gone. But I feel relieved - my mind was beginning to turn me into someone I didn't want to be. Link to post Share on other sites
Winter blue Posted January 11, 2014 Share Posted January 11, 2014 But I feel relieved - my mind was beginning to turn me into someone I didn't want to be. Yeah be glad you dodged a bullet. He could be emotionally unavailable or he could be as he said, at a wrong time of his life to meet you. But either way, he is not that into you. Let go this one, a good relationship should bring out the best of you not the other way around. Just cut off all contacts with him.You will be okay. Link to post Share on other sites
BigGirlPantiesOn Posted January 11, 2014 Share Posted January 11, 2014 Hi Everyone, I've been in a relationship with a guy for a few weeks now (I know it's nothing significant however it was very deep) He's 40 and I'm 27. Over christmas he was with his family, we spoke often via text and everything was perfect. Oneday I had a message from a women on facebook who asked me if I was his girlfriend because she was!!! It turned out he had dated this women prior to myself (not exclusive) and instead of saying hey I've met someone else he simply didn't tell her and carried on texting her every day things nothing sexual or lovey dovey, told her he was too busy at work to be in a relationship and blocked her on facebook! Her friend searched for him and found him in a relationship with me hence the message. She said that she noticed him withdrawing (obviously because he was busy talking to me) and this has now stuck in my mind. Although I don't think I am feeling things that aren't there. After all what's a relationship with almost zero communication! Since going back to work (he works around 40 miles away) he seems to have faded away entirely. I saw him last Sunday and thing's were amazing however everything has faded. Before when I would text him I would have an almost instant reply oor when he could (I use imessage so it says when he has read it) However now he seems to read them and then not reply for 2 hours. He tells me he doesn't have much on at work workwise unless he's working away, I have asked him why so silent I am the type of person to talk about it rather than let it go and have tension and he said he was busier in work. fiine, ok, make's sense. However you'd think I'd hear from him on a night time and I think things may be even worse then! His communication is now short mostly 3 word replies) he seems to lack any interest in what I am doing and seems to not bother wanting to tell me about his day either. As we were so close this has come as a major kicker to me. It feels like he has completely withdrawn from me and despite me asking a second time he maintains there is nothing wrong with us. I am not typically needy or worrisome however I'm frustrated now. I feel neglected, pushed to the side and ignored. We had plans tonight however I informed him I could either come and stay over but had to be home by 12 tomorrow (childcare) or we would have to reshedule. The reply I got was "ok" I have heard nothing since although he's not too busy to be on facebook I'm at a complete loss at to what to do here I don't want to chase after him, he doesn't deserve it and I get more chat back from my 1 year old. However I don't want to say hey it's over I am tired of being ignored either. HELP ME PLEASE Can you see his pattern? Older man....rapid fire "in love" relationship rockets, then crashes. He is non-committal player. who has done it to other women. We all get played at least once in our life. I got played just last week by a married man from my dating site. Lucky I watched the red flags. There are disgusting people, men AND women, like this. It wasn't love, dear. It was false infatuation. Love doesn't do this to people. Link to post Share on other sites
Author littlemissc2014 Posted January 11, 2014 Author Share Posted January 11, 2014 I guess so and I suppose it's easy for them to do it and skip out and forget what they did without feeling any kind of guilt while I was all caught up and driving myself mad. His number has been deleted and blocked same on Facebook. Lesson learnt I hope your ok biggirl x 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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