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Feel like crap, feel like i screwed up, dont know


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So I'm new here and made an account just to gain some insight...

I broke up with my first ever girlfriend of a year and a half yesterday. Things at the time just seemed numb, I felt like she was being too clingy and she started getting jealous of me being friend with on of my floormates who happens to be a girl despite telling her numerous times that we honestly, just friends. In addition to that I felt like I had no bro time or anytime at all to myself just to cool off and relax. After thinking for a while, I decided to call it off.

 

 

We go to the same university and since going there we have been fighting more, I feel like she has made me too central a character in her life, she has had trouble making friends and she has become extremely attached to me.

 

 

Leading up to it i thought it was the right thing to do, although when it happened It was hard to do it. Seeing her like that was traumatizing and it hurt a lot. I told her I needed time to sort my thoughts and emotions out and I felt like it wasn't fair to her to be in a relationship with her.

As soon as I got back to my dorm I started crying, it felt like my heart had been ripped out and I had been crying the entire day and even today.

All I think about now is her and how much fun we've had together, I feel like I want her back but there's something egging me. I'm scared to get back with her because I do not want to hurt her like that again.

 

 

She loved me unconditionally and was devoted to me, the memories of our relationship keep playing through my head and it just felt right, now everything feels wrong and it feels empty.

 

 

Part of me says I should have waited or communicated with her better and told her I needed my space. She texted me, saying "take as long as you need, I will always love you"

 

 

I don't know what to do, I'm completely in shambles right now. Should I try getting her back?

 

 

Im sorry if this all seems jambled, there's just so much in my head right now.

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Sleep on this for a week. Say nothing, do not contact her, and get your thoughts unjumbled.

 

If at the end of the week, you still feel like contacting her, then contact her.

 

(one proviso: Don't look forward to contacting her at the end of the week; don't plan it that way. Just wait until the day, and consider then, whether it would be a good idea. Consider exactly where you stand; don't look at it as an interruption of your relationship.

You finished this. if you want to start over, then think about it.)

 

If you DO still think, by then, that contacting her would be a good option, then:

Arrange to meet and talk. Choose a neutral and public location.

And be open and honest with her.

Tell her why you broke up with her.

Tell her exactly what you put here.

 

If you want to build on what you had, she may need to address self-esteem issues. Why was she so clingy and jealous?

 

look to the source of your fights.

Address those issues.

Lay down boundaries and mutually acceptable guidelines.

You're not joined at the hip, you're 2 individuals working out your lives, and as such. both deserve space to breathe, socialise and meet new experinces, challenges and things to do.....

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Don't reply. I know it sounds harsh, but keep your options close to your chest until you feel clearer in your own mind what it is you want to do.

 

She's demonstrating 'clingyness' (understandable, I know) but be moved by love, not pity or sympathy.....

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