Bishop556 Posted January 1, 2014 Share Posted January 1, 2014 So, if you want to know my story, it is on previous threads started by myself. I am not on good terms with my ex, but her mother has been always a great friend, and has helped me out immensely. I sent her a text asking if I could call her when she has time as I wanted to thank her for everything. She responded, "I'm busy currently. There is no need to thank me. You are an outstanding young man, and I care about you." I responded, "Thank you so much. You are an outstanding woman as well. I hope your family is having a fantastic winter break, and I wish you guys the best. :)" She responded, "Hope the new year is happy and healthy :)" Finally, I responded, "Same to you too. I'll see you around" She responded with "xoxo" which represents hugs and kisses, of course. I think being polite and generous to your ex's parents shows a great amount of maturity, bravery, and respect. I know I'm just venting, but I feel like the future is a little brighter. I feel proud of myself to have the courage to do this. If anyone wishes to comment, or share their story, I would greatly love to read all your replies. Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted January 1, 2014 Share Posted January 1, 2014 I wouldn't have done that personally -- her mother is her outlet, not yours. It can be seen as invasive. Seems like it went as well as it could have, but I wouldn't send her anything else. Link to post Share on other sites
JDPT Posted January 1, 2014 Share Posted January 1, 2014 Regardless of how "amazing" you thought the relationship between you and your mother's ex was, there was no need, neither there is any future need to further contact her. As previously stated, she will and always be on her daughter's corner never yours. You finally got this out your chest now let it be and move forward with your life. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
pickflicker Posted January 1, 2014 Share Posted January 1, 2014 (edited) I wouldn't have done that personally -- her mother is her outlet, not yours. It can be seen as invasive. Seems like it went as well as it could have, but I wouldn't send her anything else. I agree. Even if my child was the cause of the break up, my loyalty would be with them. The tone of the texts seems like she wanted to wrap up any conversation quickly, too. There wasn't anything in her responses to perpetuate the conversation further - in fact, I read it as polite but dismissive, which was the right course of action on her part. Edited January 1, 2014 by pickflicker 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bishop556 Posted January 1, 2014 Author Share Posted January 1, 2014 I guess you're right. I thought it would be a good gesture, but I guess I was better off not doing so. Wow, I feel like a moron. I can see now that she was just trying to end the conversation with me. Link to post Share on other sites
chris21422 Posted January 1, 2014 Share Posted January 1, 2014 yea man you shouldn't have done that. see how she said "I'm busy currently. There is no need to thank me." doesn't even care to talk to you in the phone.. she probably just wants to be nice but no need to feel bad as it already happened.. sometimes it's better to leave things at be than be polite and nice.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bishop556 Posted January 1, 2014 Author Share Posted January 1, 2014 Well, she actually told me she was at Jiffy's Lube which is a mechanics shop. I just didn't want to post that as it might have seemned confusing. Link to post Share on other sites
JDPT Posted January 1, 2014 Share Posted January 1, 2014 I guess you're right. I thought it would be a good gesture, but I guess I was better off not doing so. Wow, I feel like a moron. I can see now that she was just trying to end the conversation with me. She really was. I felt bad for you as I was reading your convo with her. Dust yourself off, live and learn. You have tons to look forward to. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
chris21422 Posted January 1, 2014 Share Posted January 1, 2014 Well she could have said. I'm currently busy you can later. Man just leave the hell out of her alone.. there is no need to contact the mom either.. Well, she actually told me she was at Jiffy's Lube which is a mechanics shop. I just didn't want to post that as it might have seemned confusing. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bishop556 Posted January 1, 2014 Author Share Posted January 1, 2014 I just don't understand the comment "you are an outstanding young man, and I care about you". It could be a kind gesture, but I believe it shows appreciation. Maybe I am just over analyzing the situation. Link to post Share on other sites
pickflicker Posted January 1, 2014 Share Posted January 1, 2014 I just don't understand the comment "you are an outstanding young man, and I care about you". It could be a kind gesture, but I believe it shows appreciation. Maybe I am just over analyzing the situation. She's being polite, that's it. She should never have replied to you, but it's too late now. Don't contact her again. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bishop556 Posted January 1, 2014 Author Share Posted January 1, 2014 I guess you're right. It just seems odd to me. When my ex and I first broke up, she was devastated. She told my parents that it felt like a death in the family. She used to tell me all the time that she loved me. I can see as she was trying to be polite, but I feel that there was a hint of truth in what she said. Maybe I am clinging onto some false belief. I don't know. Link to post Share on other sites
pickflicker Posted January 1, 2014 Share Posted January 1, 2014 I guess you're right. It just seems odd to me. When my ex and I first broke up, she was devastated. She told my parents that it felt like a death in the family. She used to tell me all the time that she loved me. I can see as she was trying to be polite, but I feel that there was a hint of truth in what she said. I'm sure she had nothing against you, but her first loyalty is to her daughter. Her tone was polite but dismissive. It's perfectly fair. It's done now, time to move forward. Link to post Share on other sites
chris21422 Posted January 1, 2014 Share Posted January 1, 2014 Don't read too much into things man.. Actions speaks louder than words.. Those words are nothing.. even if she said she still loves you and still cares about you doesn't mean she wants to get back together... So don't read too much into things bro.. If she wants you back she will let you know but right now you need to stay away and heal yourself. I guess you're right. It just seems odd to me. When my ex and I first broke up, she was devastated. She told my parents that it felt like a death in the family. She used to tell me all the time that she loved me. I can see as she was trying to be polite, but I feel that there was a hint of truth in what she said. Maybe I am clinging onto some false belief. I don't know. Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted January 1, 2014 Share Posted January 1, 2014 I just don't understand the comment "you are an outstanding young man, and I care about you". It could be a kind gesture, but I believe it shows appreciation. Maybe I am just over analyzing the situation. Yes you are. And even if she was 100 percent on the level, you weren't dating her -- you were dating the daughter. And while I'm sure the mom had high regard for you, she isn't going to throw your ex under the bus or manipulate your ex on your behalf. Please don't contact the mom again. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bishop556 Posted January 1, 2014 Author Share Posted January 1, 2014 I know that. I was never planning to contact her again. The only purpose of this was to thank her for everything that she has done for me. Now that everything was said and done, I will not contact her. I just wish her family the best for whatever life brings them. Link to post Share on other sites
JDPT Posted January 1, 2014 Share Posted January 1, 2014 I know that. I was never planning to contact her again. The only purpose of this was to thank her for everything that she has done for me. Now that everything was said and done, I will not contact her. I just wish her family the best for whatever life brings them. Ok good.... Link to post Share on other sites
Kopite Posted January 1, 2014 Share Posted January 1, 2014 Jeez, some people on here... I'm not really sure what the big issue is here. Just because things didn't work out between your partner and you, doesn't always mean you have to completely shun the parents, especially if the parents haven't really taken sides. I'm still in a great relationship with the parents of my ex. While they will quietly support their daughter, if you are in a good relationship with them, most of the time, they will try not to blame anyone or take sides. For me, they accepted that things didn't work out and we have no problems staying in contact. Maybe I have rose-tinted spectacles on but, unless you really hurt your partner (cheated on her, said bad things about her family, etc) I don't see the harm in saying thanks like Bishop did. Link to post Share on other sites
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