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Mixed signals?


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Hello everyone,

Sorry for the long text, but I don't have a choice so that you can understand everything :)

 

I met my ex in late August 2013. I met her at her job. She is a waitress on weekends to pay for her studies and until September 20 she worked there almost every day before she resumed school. We had a little chat and she told me she finished work at 21:30 and if I wanted, I could wait to talk with her after work. We discussed around a glass, I invited her to come to my home. As she didn't have any place to sleep that day, I told her she cold sleep at my place.

 

She accepted and we slept together (I know it's very fast, I still can't believe it :)). After that she slept almost every day at my house for a good week. I picked her up every day at her work so that she didn't need to take the train. To say that everything went very quickly! Everything was passionate and with fusion, just happiness.

 

During the week she told me a lot of things from her past, quite harsh things (rape, suicide attempts, etc.). She also told me she wanted children in the future with me and do her life with me. A little absurd after such a short time but I didn't say anything. She just was crazy about me. In short, for 3 weeks everything was fine until the day she knew that I had a sex friend before I met her. She was not too pleased with that news and asked me if I had feelings for this sex friend. I said no (and it was true). Since that day she became more distant and things started to get complicated.

 

The weekend of October 5th we went to Paris. Weekend quite revealing since I learned she was in heroin rehab but I told her that I would support her to get through this. As I didn't saw it she was on heroin, it wasn't such a big deal. We had an argument in a club for a stupid thing and she was really mean (probably because of alcohol, but this is not an excuse). There she told me she was on heroin and she talked again about her rape. I managed to calm her down. The next day I still had undigested this dispute and I was quite distant. We returned from our weekend and when I brought her home, she apologized and thanked me for everything (I had paid everything, organized everything, gave her a necklace...).

 

3 days later she asked me advices on something and she told me I was great. Except when we saw each other the evening, everything changed. She arrives without hardly say hello and with a strange behaviour. She asked me many questions about what music I like and what festivals / concerts I had seen. For music I tell her that I rather love electro but if a song is good, I like it too (even classic :)). There she begins to wonder if I know these artists here and there. I said that some I know and some not. She asks me if I have seen such concert and festival, I gave her the same answer. Suddenly she said: "I do not know what I do with you, you're 25 and you still haven't experienced anything." I replied that it is not because I do not know all the things of the world that I have not lived.

 

She leaves and before she gets into her car we still fight for that ordinary stuff. I didn't say much because I know from experience you don't argue with woman when they vent. She left. An hour later I apologize for my words she had misunderstood. The next day she apologized for her harsh words but said she wants someone who has lived, experience in life, blah blah blah. I replied the same thing as the night before and there she complains that I'm not masculine enough because I wanted to go to Paris in a classy club and not in an ordinary club (lol!). She sends me a lot of sms in the same genre but I didn't reply.

 

She ended up writing: "It's a shame, we could have something beautiful but ok..." 3 hours later she talks about my sexfriend again and she starts the by sms "Darling". I told her she should stop talking about this girl because she's just a friend and that she doesn't interests me more than that. The next day she sent me: "you look like you do not give a **** that it's over." I answered with the silly stuff (I love you, I miss you, I don't want to lose you, etc). No answer from her so I basically started NC.

 

10 days of the NC she texts:

me: "Hi, how are you?"

I answer her: "Pretty good and you?"

Her: "Not so bad. You got a new girlfriend maybe? Sorry for everything I said?".

Me: "No I do not have a new girlfriend and no hard feelings of what you said."

She replied: "Ok."

The next day I texted her: "I just ate macaroon as desert. It remembers me how much you like that." She replied: "yes, I love macaroons xxx".

 

4 days later, I asked her if she regretted the break up. She replied: "Yes, I think it's a shame but I think we are not compatible." I go back in NC and this since October 31 (and I'm still in NC now).

On Facebook she has not changed her relationship (she is still in relationship with me) and she has a picture of a guy with a gun that shoots cupid (on Google: do not touch me cupid). I find it very strange that she's still in a realtion with me on facebook and this weird profile photo. And she's quite often on Facebook so I doubt it she forgot to change it (and other people would confront her with that too)...

 

For my part, I'm really confused and a little angry when she left me after 3 days we went to Paris (I spent € 1,500 that weekend). I still love her even though it is true that this may not be the girl that I want. Certain personality traits are against my principles and I feel she seeks risk, even danger. I think she has maybe borderline traits ... But I feel that our relationship is incomplete and she also has many qualities I do like in girls.

 

Maybe paradoxically I want to get her back but on certain conditions...

I also want to say I treated her extremely well and I believe nobody treated her so well. This probably because of her rape past because generally I'm not an extreme nice guy (I define myself more as a gentleman).

 

Please share me your opinions because I don't have a clear clue what she wants or feels?

 

Thank you very much!

Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
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