Depression and Anxiety - NC

[healingslowly]

Hello, all-

 

I suffer from anxiety and depression (I am on meds and therapy) and three weeks ago it took a toll on my girlfriend who asked to be apart from me. She claims it's not permanent. In the meantime I have been trying hard to work on me and over the last few weeks I sent her a few messages with no response. Last week took it's toll and I essentially begged her to reach out to me. She never replied. We discussed marriage and kids and so while I know that my illness hurt her (and I made a lot of mistakes), I just feel as though her ignoring me signals that she no longer loves me and wants to be with me. She is also really stressed out at work and hates her job and has been applying to other places. I know my illness didn't help things. I am not sure how to feel. I ended up giving up all social media because it was simply too difficult. I am a good person and I just feel like my depression ruined an amazing relationship. I just don't know why someone who claims they love you ignore you and refuse to communicate at all. We never agreed to no contact, she just hasn't whatsoever. Any help would be appreciated.

[TylerDurdenn]

It's strange how a person who at one time appeared to be your future husband/wife can go to not giving a **** in days/weeks/months, I haven't worked that one out but it pretty much sucks.

[aloneinaz]

As hard as it is to accept, you need to move on. She's showing her true colors. I know depression/anxiety isn't fun to navigate thru and having a non-supportive partner makes it even worse. One thing though, you can't spent too much time complaining or bringing down your partner about your condition. If she was your wife, maybe but in a GF situation, it can be a deal breaker.

 

As I've said before, people use the "love" word too much and too easily. Clearly she wasn't in love w/you if she left unless you smothered her with your problems. Only you know that. If you didn't, she clearly wasn't the right person for you.

 

You should spent your time working on yourself and treating your condition so you can be ready for your next great relationship.

[healingslowly]

I think I might have smothered her. She was just REALLY concerned towards the end I ended up telling her "you don't know how to support me, you weren't raised like that, etc." and she said she needed space to sort through all of this and to heal. She forgave me for my hurtful comments during the height of my depression and I should have sought out therapy LONG before I actually did. I just feel a tremendous sense of guilt and pain for putting her through it. It just sucks when I really am depressed and we had discussed our future literally DAYS before she broke it off...

[fixing]

Fwiw mate. I suffer from exactly the same condition as you do. Its nothing to be ashamed about either. But, its very hard for other people to understand the hurdles and obstacles we must battle every day. We also, cannot guilt trip a partner into feeling sorry for us either. Look, she sounds to me like she bailed out when the tough got going, her actions indicate that she didnt/doesnt truly love you. Because i feel a true loving partner will stand by their man/woman through thick and thin.

All you can do at this moment is look after yourself. Dont go messaging her anymore. She knows your sorry, for the nasty comments etc. Just leave it at that.

She made her decision to leave you. So dont go trying to convince a woman to stay with you, **** her off.

 

Time to start taking care of yourself for now. Your happiness and well being is much more important than chasing a woman who run away at the first signs of difficulty.

Keep posting here, this place is great, for comforting eachother and learning how to cope.