Ryan52 Posted November 4, 2013 Share Posted November 4, 2013 We dated for 2 years and left me for her current boyfriend. 3 months after the break up we both initiate contact but its clear she is trying to make me jealous (saying how happy she is) with her current boyfriend. We get into an argument and she wanted to get a restraining order on me. A week later I message her and tell her if she wants to talk again she can initiate it. She says she will never contact me ever again. A week later, she randomly blocked my Facebook and phone. Fast forward 3 months of no contact, she unblocked my Facebook. So why would she do that if she went so far as threatening me with a restraining order (when she contacted me) and wanted nothing to do with me (she unblocked me after 3 months of wanting nothing to do with me)? We broke up 7 months ago and a mutual friend keeps saying my ex keeps bringing up the past with all of my friends. We are NOT Facebook friends and everyone says I did not harass her. Link to post Share on other sites
xUnknown Posted November 4, 2013 Share Posted November 4, 2013 a mutual friend keeps saying my ex keeps bringing up the past with all of my friends. We are NOT Facebook friends and everyone says I did not harass her. She keeps bringing up the past to maybe see what the mutual friend is going to tell her about you. She prob unblocked you to check up on you...waiting for you to initiate contact with her, then shell make some BS excuse and then tell you to stop talking to her and block you again. She wants an Ego boost. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
headinthecloud Posted November 4, 2013 Share Posted November 4, 2013 If you're BU why does it matter what she's doing with her life? Especially given that she threatened a restraining order. You need to go full NC, and ask your friends to stop mentioning her. Time to let go and move on. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ryan52 Posted November 4, 2013 Author Share Posted November 4, 2013 She keeps bringing up the past to maybe see what the mutual friend is going to tell her about you. She prob unblocked you to check up on you...waiting for you to initiate contact with her, then shell make some BS excuse and then tell you to stop talking to her and block you again. She wants an Ego boost. Thanks for the reply... I know for a fact that I'm not going to contact her. The last thing I told her was if she wants to talk she can initiate it. Does it look better if I do nothing, do not block her, and pretend I didn't even notice that she unblocked me? Link to post Share on other sites
xUnknown Posted November 4, 2013 Share Posted November 4, 2013 Thanks for the reply... I know for a fact that I'm not going to contact her. The last thing I told her was if she wants to talk she can initiate it. Does it look better if I do nothing, do not block her, and pretend I didn't even notice that she unblocked me? I'm new to this whole thing also...I would say don't do anything. If you block her, then she knows you noticed. If you do nothing, she only suspects you noticed. If it becomes a problem with you checking her page, then yeah, take the steps you need and block her. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
what_a_blonde Posted November 4, 2013 Share Posted November 4, 2013 I'm new to this whole thing also...I would say don't do anything. If you block her, then she knows you noticed. If you do nothing, she only suspects you noticed. If it becomes a problem with you checking her page, then yeah, take the steps you need and block her. While I would almost disagree with the advice above, because I feel like you're just allowing her to have full control by claiming ignorance, I like to look at it from this perspective: If you DO go out of your way and block her, then you're still holding on to something thats no longer there and that seems like a bad situation for you to be in to start. Think about it, you block her.. then 2 weeks later you start talking yourself out of "why" you shouldn't have blocked her, and start thinking about the "what - ifs". (i.e. "What if letting her see my profile would have caused her to contact me? What if she wast trying to contact me?" etc.) If you choose to do nothing... which I think is the best bet now... at least you don't have to have it in the back of your mind that she is on your block list and randomly come across it later down the road when you think you're doing ok... then it pops up like "oh ya, there's her name... on my blocked list" and then you start thinking about her, etc. Sorry to drag that on but hope it helps. I'm HIGHLY considering deleting my current guy thats causing me heartache and when I delete him though- I won't put him on any other level of security than the general "public" (which basically can't see jack anyway haha). But at least I will still have him deleted. Link to post Share on other sites
aybc123 Posted November 4, 2013 Share Posted November 4, 2013 She probably realises that she acted like a bit of a jackass and feels slightly bad about it and also figures its been long enough that you're ok with not talking to her now. I know people always say not to read into this stuff but the fact is that people do do things for a reason. If i unblocked someone that i deleted and threatened with a restraining order it would probably be because i didn't feel hostile to them anymore. So that's what i would take is as, just a water under the bridge thing. Link to post Share on other sites
MidwestUSA Posted November 4, 2013 Share Posted November 4, 2013 Off topic, but not really, what is the difference between blocking and 'unfriending'? OP, if you had HER blocked, would you know that she unblocked you? Thanks for answers guys; I'm an old fart! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ryan52 Posted November 4, 2013 Author Share Posted November 4, 2013 She probably realises that she acted like a bit of a jackass and feels slightly bad about it and also figures its been long enough that you're ok with not talking to her now. I know people always say not to read into this stuff but the fact is that people do do things for a reason. If i unblocked someone that i deleted and threatened with a restraining order it would probably be because i didn't feel hostile to them anymore. So that's what i would take is as, just a water under the bridge thing. She blocked me as soon as the break up happened. Unblocked me when Iknew she was with someone else. Blocked me again once we got into an argument, then unblocked me 3 months later when I texted her. We texted back and forth for a few days then she threatened me with a restraining order (she started the conversation that day and the previous day). Then 3 weeks later I text her and she says she never wants to talk to me and blocks me. Now nothing happened since then and randomly unblocks me. So why would she want to open a line of communication with someone who she threatened only 3 months prior? Link to post Share on other sites
xUnknown Posted November 4, 2013 Share Posted November 4, 2013 If you choose to do nothing... which I think is the best bet now... at least you don't have to have it in the back of your mind that she is on your block list and randomly come across it later down the road when you think you're doing ok... then it pops up like "oh ya, there's her name... on my blocked list" and then you start thinking about her, etc. Yeah thats exactly what I think. Do nothing. Keep healing. You'll have something in the back of your mind if you do, as mentioned, the what ifs. Heal and let things happen as they happen. Link to post Share on other sites
aybc123 Posted November 4, 2013 Share Posted November 4, 2013 She blocked me as soon as the break up happened. Unblocked me when Iknew she was with someone else. Blocked me again once we got into an argument, then unblocked me 3 months later when I texted her. We texted back and forth for a few days then she threatened me with a restraining order (she started the conversation that day and the previous day). Then 3 weeks later I text her and she says she never wants to talk to me and blocks me. Now nothing happened since then and randomly unblocks me. So why would she want to open a line of communication with someone who she threatened only 3 months prior? She doesn't want to open a line of communication with you imo. I suspected it before but the repeated blockings confirm it, she seems to use blocking you (probably other guys too) as a way of saying she's mad at you. All unblocking you now means is that she's no longer actively hostile to you. Not that she wants to talk to you, or get back together, or anything else, just not hostile. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Riou Posted November 4, 2013 Share Posted November 4, 2013 All it says is your ex is a childish little girl,date real woman next time. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ryan52 Posted November 4, 2013 Author Share Posted November 4, 2013 She doesn't want to open a line of communication with you imo. I suspected it before but the repeated blockings confirm it, she seems to use blocking you (probably other guys too) as a way of saying she's mad at you. All unblocking you now means is that she's no longer actively hostile to you. Not that she wants to talk to you, or get back together, or anything else, just not hostile. Also to add some more detail... about 2.5 weeks ago, the mutual friend said she kept reminiscing about the past and so on. I explained to the mutual friend on how I have no hard feeling for her and explained my side of things for the first time since the BU. It was a good conversation....then 2 weeks later, I go out with the mutual friend, her bf and another girl. A picture was uploaded to the mutual friends facebook of all 4 of us. So my ex saw this picture (im pretty sure she did and out of nowhere I was unblocked a day or so after this picture. After the picture was uploaded, I was unblocked randomly after 3 months NC). Link to post Share on other sites
Riou Posted November 4, 2013 Share Posted November 4, 2013 Also to add some more detail... about 2.5 weeks ago, the mutual friend said she kept reminiscing about the past and so on. I explained to the mutual friend on how I have no hard feeling for her and explained my side of things for the first time since the BU. It was a good conversation....then 2 weeks later, I go out with the mutual friend, her bf and another girl. A picture was uploaded to the mutual friends facebook of all 4 of us. So my ex saw this picture (im pretty sure she did and out of nowhere I was unblocked a day or so after this picture. After the picture was uploaded, I was unblocked randomly after 3 months NC). You still want her back,that's a fact.If not you won't be so affected by what she does and think about it so exceedingly.That means her game worked on you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
StyleOnEm Posted November 4, 2013 Share Posted November 4, 2013 It doesn't matter what she thinks. And why are you constantly checking up on her still? It sounds like there's a piece of you that still wants to reconcile with her. If that's the case -- she has to make all the moves. Don't react to her unblocking you. Live your life and keep her guessing. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Haydn Posted November 4, 2013 Share Posted November 4, 2013 Block block block. Temptation is a terrible thing my friend. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted November 4, 2013 Share Posted November 4, 2013 Screw it! If she unblocked you, I would go in there and block her! Then, keep on moving on with your life. Funny how a simple unblocking has you questioning everything and making you come back on here. Then, block her! Problem solved! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Kozmo Posted November 4, 2013 Share Posted November 4, 2013 she's probably curious to what youre up to. Link to post Share on other sites
LadyM Posted November 4, 2013 Share Posted November 4, 2013 FB causes so much angst for people, myself included. I would suggest you not do anything. Don't even give her the benefit of thinking you care enough to block her - like she doesn't exist and means nothing to you. I'm thinking that will bother her more than anything, and that's what we really want, right?! 4 Link to post Share on other sites
ponchsox Posted November 4, 2013 Share Posted November 4, 2013 This would make an awesome Dikembe Mutumbo commercial. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Sugarkane Posted November 4, 2013 Share Posted November 4, 2013 I agree with everyone that said block this immature girl. I also don't know how you can get a restraining order on someone, if you keep contacting them? She can't complain and then keep contacting you? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ryan52 Posted November 4, 2013 Author Share Posted November 4, 2013 I agree with everyone that said block this immature girl. I also don't know how you can get a restraining order on someone, if you keep contacting them? She can't complain and then keep contacting you? And this is what is confusing.... you threaten someone with a restraining order, tell people that you actually want one and they have to convince you that I did nothing wrong and THEN 3 months later open a line of communication. If I wanted a restraining order on someone and I meant it, I would not unblock someone and give them a chance to contact me in any form... in just 3 short months. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Sugarkane Posted November 5, 2013 Share Posted November 5, 2013 And this is what is confusing.... you threaten someone with a restraining order, tell people that you actually want one and they have to convince you that I did nothing wrong and THEN 3 months later open a line of communication. If I wanted a restraining order on someone and I meant it, I would not unblock someone and give them a chance to contact me in any form... in just 3 short months. I think that's why I'd block her. She's vindictive enough to keep contacting you, so she can go to The police. I'd keep a record of how much she contacts you, if she does go this far. Link to post Share on other sites
Ordinaryday Posted November 5, 2013 Share Posted November 5, 2013 I think that's why I'd block her. She's vindictive enough to keep contacting you, so she can go to The police. I'd keep a record of how much she contacts you, if she does go this far. Yeah, some exes are really crazy and do all sorts of horrible vindictive things to 'get even'. In May this year it was reported in the news that a woman in America was being charged for making false police reports.... she was bitter about being dumped so she set up a fake facebook account under her ex-boyfriend's name and through this fake account sent HER OWN ACCOUNT heaps of threatening nasty messages, pretending that they were from him. she then went to the police and reported him, saying that he was sending her threatening messages. It took the police about two seconds to track the messages, realise that she sent them to herself, and she got charged with filing a false police report. Nothing quite that drastic has happened to me but much lesser things have - one ex who dumped me kept sending me breadcrumbs trying to get a reaction out of me and I ignored them for ages but I finally got sick of it and responded and she was all like "OMG! It is OVER! Why can't you just accept that and leave me alone???" - the sad thing is that, I reckon, in her own mind she honestly believed that I was 'hassling her' and not the other way around. people can make up all kinds of excuses in their minds. this ex sounds like drama, just block her. Link to post Share on other sites
Riou Posted November 5, 2013 Share Posted November 5, 2013 FB causes so much angst for people, myself included. I would suggest you not do anything. Don't even give her the benefit of thinking you care enough to block her - like she doesn't exist and means nothing to you. I'm thinking that will bother her more than anything, and that's what we really want, right?! What if she actually thinks the OP is her audience because he doesn't block/unfriend her? Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts