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Sexual possessiveness


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Old 22nd October 2013, 6:05 PM   #1
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Sexual possessiveness

Like it or not. Sex is a massive part of us. They say that one of the major characteristics of human love is sexual possessiveness. You know, the deep rooted, primitive idea in your brain that your partner was sort of "your" sexual property.

I know that's not very PC and we'll all be tempted to say that's rubbish and that we absolutely viewed our partner as nothing of the sort. But I think deep down there is truth in it.

If there is truth in it, it makes it soooo hard to let go when they up and leave you. I know I am tortured by thoughts of my ex sexually. I can only fantasise about her at the moment...nobody else. And I am tortured by he thought of her being sexual with anyone. This is an enormous part of the pain for me. And then you have all of the emotional sit to boot?!

Anybody else get what I mean? Or have I just exposed myself as a freak?
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Old 22nd October 2013, 6:28 PM   #2
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Agree to some extent

I agree that sex is extremely important aspect of human relationship and contributes significantly to bonding between partners. However the degree of sexual possessiveness ifelt after a break up or during a relationship is on a spectrum with some feeling it more acutely and to the exclusion of other emotional forces. Not every one would feel onsessed about who their ex is having sex with. Others may care more that other types of showing affection to be more difficult.eg ur ex writing love poems to their new lover or cooking elaborate meals. Maybe however each of us likes to demonstrate love is wherw ww fwel it hRdest to take in the behaviour of ex to a new lover or love interest. For many men sexuL expression is their way to express love and affection and after a break up fixatung on ur exs sex life is v hard for you, maybe esp if towards the end of relationship the sex fuzzled lwaving u feel a loss of confidence
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Old 22nd October 2013, 7:18 PM   #3
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Not a freak, just heart breakingly true. I try not to admit this to myself.


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Originally Posted by sambo77 View Post
Like it or not. Sex is a massive part of us. They say that one of the major characteristics of human love is sexual possessiveness. You know, the deep rooted, primitive idea in your brain that your partner was sort of "your" sexual property.

I know that's not very PC and we'll all be tempted to say that's rubbish and that we absolutely viewed our partner as nothing of the sort. But I think deep down there is truth in it.

If there is truth in it, it makes it soooo hard to let go when they up and leave you. I know I am tortured by thoughts of my ex sexually. I can only fantasise about her at the moment...nobody else. And I am tortured by he thought of her being sexual with anyone. This is an enormous part of the pain for me. And then you have all of the emotional sit to boot?!

Anybody else get what I mean? Or have I just exposed myself as a freak?
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Old 22nd October 2013, 7:30 PM   #4
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I know exactly what you mean. Those thoughts are about 85% of what I think about either the amazing sex me and her had, and or who she is doing that with now... It is crippling when the thoughts are around. I know what you mean, and you are not alone...
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Old 22nd October 2013, 9:00 PM   #5
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I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN! My ex was the best lover I've ever had. Ever. It's been 2.5 months since BU and I haven't had sex since then. All I want is him. I can't imagine getting intimate with anyone else and it kills me to think about him with someone else. I want him so bad I'm almost willing to deal with the emotional consequences if I can have him just one more time...almost..

God I want him.
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Old 22nd October 2013, 9:09 PM   #6
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Completely agree. Especially if u are with someone since they were a teen and they weren't with anyone else.

I think some of us are more possessive than others. I wish I was less

Quote:
Originally Posted by sambo77 View Post
Like it or not. Sex is a massive part of us. They say that one of the major characteristics of human love is sexual possessiveness. You know, the deep rooted, primitive idea in your brain that your partner was sort of "your" sexual property.

I know that's not very PC and we'll all be tempted to say that's rubbish and that we absolutely viewed our partner as nothing of the sort. But I think deep down there is truth in it.

If there is truth in it, it makes it soooo hard to let go when they up and leave you. I know I am tortured by thoughts of my ex sexually. I can only fantasise about her at the moment...nobody else. And I am tortured by he thought of her being sexual with anyone. This is an enormous part of the pain for me. And then you have all of the emotional sit to boot?!

Anybody else get what I mean? Or have I just exposed myself as a freak?
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Old 22nd October 2013, 9:10 PM   #7
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Me being me. I can never help but ask my ex about the details when he did start playing around. That is a fun process
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