LoveShack.org Community Forums

Reload this Page LoveShack.org Community Forums > Breaking Up, Reconciliation & Coping > Breaks and Breaking Up

Can I send this to my ex in the mail?


Breaks and Breaking Up It happens to most everyone at some point in life! Share your experiences!

Like Tree13Likes
 
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 21st September 2013, 5:34 AM   #1
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 291
Can I send this to my ex in the mail?

Again here is my story

Dumped after 5 years


Anyways to add a little more to my story.. Over the last few years when I was the tough ass (still showing the occasional love and sensitivity but not often). This as I stated in my story she turned into a great person. So whenever we would fight or argue regardless if I was right or wrong she was the one to ALWAYS reach out or come around and try to talk. Even after her dumping when I was nice guy she came back around after 10 days.. Please read the story for full details... Anyways been thinking I should send her this in the mail. Im at day of 59 of NC and 70 since D Day. I feel like I owe it to try one last time seeing all the times she came around for me regardless if I was wrong in a fight.....





Exes name,

Well it has been two months since we last spoke or saw each other and after analyzing our past and spending this time apart I have a better understanding of it all. I figured it is a good time to reach out and speak with out emotions taking over and having things viewed more clearly. I also figured that the past few years during fights and even after the first break up you either came back to me or the one who reached out to me all those times when we fought.

So I owe it to you to reach out to you regardless of the situation, but that's not the reason why I am doing so. I first want to apologize for my emotions getting the best of me and the way I acted at the end. I became very emotional, and cant believe I let that happen. I realized I was very dependent on you which was not fair for me to do to you at all. I also want to apologize for me taking you for granted after all the wonderful things you did for me to make my life easier. I never discredited you for that and still to this day can never take that away from you. I was very insensitive and resentful towards your feelings at times but please understand I was scared, Scared of our past issues reoccurring.

Scared of what may or might happen again, but I never stopped loving you during that time. It just took a while to let go and move on; as I officially did in April/May. My damn stubbornness prolonged all this unfortunately though. As you know if anyone doesn't like who I am or doesn't want me around; you know I tell them where to go and how to get there, except for you. You meant/mean more to me than that..I know its been a few months and I stand by what I said what we had is special. That connection, the bond, the intimacy. It was real to my belief. As I said I don't need you in my life, and you don't need me in yours, but I choose to not give up on this. I think its worth so much more than giving up on.

What I am suggesting is a new relationship. I don't want our first relationship we had when engaged nor the one we had the past few years. I want a new relationship. Which means not just about me. Nor just about you. I want it to be about us and our surroundings (family=kids). You know the sensitive person inside of me, as I know the sensitive person in you. If I just give at least a quarter of what I did the first two years and you give at least a quarter of what you gave the past 3 years; We can be happy. I strongly believe this and promise it wont be any less. If you don't look back at those moments and or feel even the slightest feeling as the way I do on me or those moments and you have completely moved on please don't respond.

I will continue to respect your decision and I will accept my view on us to just of been/be an illusion. I know what I have to offer especially in a committed relationship (as you know this as well) I will continue my search for happiness elsewhere. Which I know is out there but I do want it /believe it to be with you.

I want you to be happy. I meant that. I just hope it can be together. I hope all is well exes name.


Love
me

P.S Hug *name* for me I miss him as well....<---- her cat that I fell in love with and lived with me for 5 years

Last edited by LoveShack.org Moderator; 21st September 2013 at 6:00 PM..
Vinsanity1307 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 21st September 2013, 5:20 PM   #2
Established Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 8,328
Absolutely not.
Simon Phoenix is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 21st September 2013, 5:24 PM   #3
Established Member
 
ConfusedHumanBeing's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 1,647
NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO
NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO
NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO
NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO


Dude, you HAVE to stop this. They blocked your old name? That probably means something there hoss. Take a breath, a step back, and realize what you are doing. Its not healthy....
ConfusedHumanBeing is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 21st September 2013, 5:26 PM   #4
Established Member
 
candie13's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Europe
Posts: 3,736
Advice 1: use paragraphs

Advice 2: don't bother, something tells me she won't even read it.

Such is life, mate. Deal with it.
candie13 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 21st September 2013, 6:10 PM   #5
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 291
Just figured it could be one reach out as she did when we fought before....I figured both emotions settled and if she doesn't feel the same even a little the connection is dead. Do what I have to to accept it
Vinsanity1307 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 21st September 2013, 8:39 PM   #6
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Truck stop oasis, California
Posts: 105
You will seriously hurt yourself sending this. Absolutely do not.
__________________
Face the honest truth/You were never you
Now be defiant, the lion, give them a fight that will open their eyes
Hangman hooded, softly swinging
Don't close the coffin yet, I'm alive
thishatteredsymphony is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 21st September 2013, 8:42 PM   #7
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 291
Well thanks for everyones input. Figured could see where it stood after a few months
Vinsanity1307 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 21st September 2013, 9:19 PM   #8
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 291
Im trying my hardest to not do so. I really am. My heart feels like its taking over though. I know.. pathetic.....And again I appreciate all the support
Vinsanity1307 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 21st September 2013, 10:23 PM   #9
Established Member
 
JDPT's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: NYC
Posts: 2,881
I didn't bother to read, delete the whole thing and forget about it.
JDPT is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 21st September 2013, 10:27 PM   #10
Established Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Australia
Posts: 134
I have done some stupid things post break up. And i sent a letter like yours at around the same time as NC. Got nothing back, silence. And it hurt soooo bad. Please learn from my mistake and dont send anything.
The answer is already there, if she felt anything she would contact you. Well, thats the way i am seeing my situation anyway.

Good luck to you.
Hoaks is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 21st September 2013, 10:33 PM   #11
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: east coast
Posts: 2,500
Think about it for a minuet. She ran your foot over with a car and hurled you down a flight of stairs so you tell me why in Gods name you want to be anywhere near her.

What are you waiting for he to do, run you over with her car? best thing with that letter is put it in the bathroom just in case you run out of toilet paper. Friend. Move on and find a normal woman, not a maniac.
StrongLass and JDPT like this.
bubbaganoosh is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 21st September 2013, 10:43 PM   #12
Established Member
 
todreaminblue's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: down under
Posts: 13,949
Journal Entries: 2
what you wrote to her was very thoughtful....i read your back story before i posted this reply...you have a history of breaking up and getting back together.....dont know if that is positive at all....because i have never done that in a relationship....never broken up said your dumped and then gotten back together or been dumped and gotten back together........i have remained friends with my exes though...after of course a hefty time lapse....i dont know if it would work or be more of the same even if you did get back together...i would hazard a guess and say more of the same as i have no experience at all i can only guess.......


in saying that ....you really need to follow your own heart........not what people tell you on here....if that can influence your decision then you are not behind your own choices.........never move until you 100 per cent sure it is what you need to do..........you do what you feel is right to do.......and then whatever that is ....is right for you...



if you feel unsure....dont move until you are sure...i always listen when people have advice for me ...but ultimately I choose what i feel is right that is the beauty of choice,

i dont give my choices in life to another to choose.....unless i am hosptialized even then you appreciate making your own choices even more realize that wihtout choice there is no life...............those choices are soley mine and in this case it is your choice to send or not to send...cant blame anyone else then, you can only depend on your own heart to do what is right for you. and if it doesnt work out......you know ...your choice was right anyway it just wasnt meant to be......deb

Last edited by todreaminblue; 21st September 2013 at 10:45 PM..
todreaminblue is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 21st September 2013, 11:26 PM   #13
Established Member
 
ConfusedHumanBeing's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 1,647
Quote:
Originally Posted by todreaminblue View Post
what you wrote to her was very thoughtful....i read your back story before i posted this reply...you have a history of breaking up and getting back together.....dont know if that is positive at all....because i have never done that in a relationship....never broken up said your dumped and then gotten back together or been dumped and gotten back together........i have remained friends with my exes though...after of course a hefty time lapse....i dont know if it would work or be more of the same even if you did get back together...i would hazard a guess and say more of the same as i have no experience at all i can only guess.......


in saying that ....you really need to follow your own heart........not what people tell you on here....if that can influence your decision then you are not behind your own choices.........never move until you 100 per cent sure it is what you need to do..........you do what you feel is right to do.......and then whatever that is ....is right for you...



if you feel unsure....dont move until you are sure...i always listen when people have advice for me ...but ultimately I choose what i feel is right that is the beauty of choice,

i dont give my choices in life to another to choose.....unless i am hosptialized even then you appreciate making your own choices even more realize that wihtout choice there is no life...............those choices are soley mine and in this case it is your choice to send or not to send...cant blame anyone else then, you can only depend on your own heart to do what is right for you. and if it doesnt work out......you know ...your choice was right anyway it just wasnt meant to be......deb
Why are.......you talking......like this lol.

She is right, you can do whatever you want and will go against MUCH of the advise of those who give it to you. With that said, weigh out ALL of the reactions that could happen and a good 98% of them wont be good. Even the "good" reactions will have you wondering MORE questions then when you started, so why do it? For that one INCREDIBLY slim reaction,that I can probably bet my family on, WONT happen? You are still SOOO stuck in this situation and not really moving on that its killing you and making it 1000% worse than what it actually is. Case in point:

Emotional pain is said to last up to 30 minutes, anything longer is considered self inflicted by over thinking, making things worse.

Boom
ConfusedHumanBeing is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 22nd September 2013, 1:05 AM   #14
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 291
Thank you all for you responses...I have been debating on this letter for the past few days.... As to answer about the constant break up that was not the case...we had 3 major break ups in 5 years...the past three years it was one which was this one....My heart says do it..I'm convincing myself that I won't get a response...I just feel I gave it a few months.... if her feelings are dead now they are gone forever and will never return...and assuming that will close the door on hope....just my thought
Vinsanity1307 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 22nd September 2013, 3:28 AM   #15
Established Member
 
ConfusedHumanBeing's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 1,647
Quote:
Originally Posted by Vinsanity1307 View Post
Thank you all for you responses...I have been debating on this letter for the past few days.... As to answer about the constant break up that was not the case...we had 3 major break ups in 5 years...the past three years it was one which was this one....My heart says do it..I'm convincing myself that I won't get a response...I just feel I gave it a few months.... if her feelings are dead now they are gone forever and will never return...and assuming that will close the door on hope....just my thought
They were dead when she left. If they were not, TRUST me she would let you know. Since she hasn't, you cant convince her to love you. It doesnt work that way.
ConfusedHumanBeing is offline   Reply With Quote
 

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

 

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Did I just send a b**chy passive-aggressive e-mail? Voodoowoman Breaks and Breaking Up 7 6th August 2013 12:03 AM
Do I send an e-mail? Kristine Dating 6 20th February 2010 10:05 PM
I am pissed off! Should I send this e-mail? SadandConfusedWA Business and Professional Relationships 24 18th February 2010 6:30 PM
Do I send a 'closure' e-mail? ladyRN The Other Man / Woman 86 13th August 2009 10:09 AM
Does he want me to send him and e-mail or they he really forget me? carol General Relationship Discussion 2 8th August 2004 9:51 PM

 

All times are GMT -4. The time now is 11:28 AM.

Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.


Copyright © 1997-2013 LoveShack.org. All Rights Reserved.