Why do some dumpers not communicate

[Riou]

During the relationship? This happens in most blindsided break ups and in some cases when communications are available,they often bottle/gunnysack everything in only to blame on the dumpee post break up.

[Onward_Upward]

In a word? ... Guilt.

 

There are exceptions of course (for example, in the case of a "psychopath" who may not care at all ), however, for the most part - and especially when they lay the blame completely at the "dumpees" feet - they feel "bad" about dropping their partner...

 

Some people will try to let another person down easily and gently, however, other folks aren't that mature emotionally, so they resort to the blame-game instead (like children)... And in this way, they assuage those guilty feelings, because the other party "...surely deserved it!"

 

There ya go... A bit of pop psychology 101

[007]

I feel you.

 

I was in a long-term 5 yr relationship with a man.

 

He suggested we move in together and he brought marriage up even though i was only 23 at the time. He was much older than me.

 

He even went an asked my parents if it would be ok with them.

 

My parents gave the green light and i was starting to come around to the idea or moving in together and getting engaged.

 

2 weeks later. He dumped me like a hot potato. He gave me the "it's not you. it's me line which i knew was BS. He refused to tell me the real reason for the breakup.

 

A day after he dumped me. He changed his phone number and blocked me from all his internet contacts. Blocking me via email, facebook etc.

 

I was shocked because i was Like ummmm is this the same guy who 2 weeks earlier was trying to convince me to move in with him?????? lol

 

till this day. i still have no idea what happened or what it was. It was hard for me to move on because apart of me really wanted to know what it was! I kept thinking that it would've easier for me to move on if he just told me. At least i would've known the truth.

Edited August 22, 2013 by 007

[soccerrprp]

I feel you.

 

I was in a long-term 5 yr relationship with a man.

 

He suggested we move in together and he brought marriage up even though i was only 23 at the time. He was much older than me.

 

He even went an asked my parents if it would be ok with them.

 

My parents gave the green light and i was starting to come around to the idea or moving in together and getting engaged.

 

2 weeks later. He dumped me like a hot potato. He gave me the "it's not you. it's me line which i knew was BS. He refused to tell me the real reason for the breakup.

 

A day after he dumped me. He changed his phone number and blocked me from all his internet contacts. Blocking me via email, facebook etc.

 

I was shocked because i was Like ummmm is this the same guy who 2 weeks earlier was trying to convince me to move in with him?????? lol

 

till this day. i still have no idea what happened or what it was. It was hard for me to move on because apart of me really wanted to know what it was! I kept thinking that it would've easier for me to move on if he just told me. At least i would've known the truth.

 

1. Reality set in and he realized that he was not ready for such a commitment yet, and or....

2. He found someone else.

 

Essentially, to answer your question, it would be guilt and a dreadful fear of confrontation for some. Some people just don't well having to confront such important and potentially emotional issues, so simply fade away to avoid it.

 

I dated a woman that dreaded such talks. She handled it by emailing instead, but at least she communicated. She turned out to be a very good friend. I digress....

Edited August 22, 2013 by soccerrprp