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Think I'm on the right path


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Ok..heres the deal.

 

Was seeing someone for about a year and a half. Started to get the feeling that something wasnt quite right but put it to the back of my mind. Then she says that we should "Take a break"..now..normally for me that would be a deal breaker..but against my better judgment I agree. I go NC during that time. We then meet, she tells me she loves me and wants to be with me and can we go back to the way we were before. Again i give the benefit of the doubt while knowing whats coming. About 6 weeks later she wants to split but stay friends. AGAIN..I go along with her. 3 weeks after we break up..she texts me to say she is seeing someone. I know she doesnt love him,its a rebound, she claimed I was the one she loved and she never felt that way since her husband, I think she is just scared of being alone.Now..for the past few weeks since she announced he new relationship, I have been in turmoil..I love her..I truly do and she knows this. But, I have decided not to beg her or ask her to come back to me coz I would be giving her control of the relationship. Instead I'm thinking, if she loves me, she'll come back to me. Also i dont want to be the guy that breaks up her new relationship for what might be the wrong reasons, i reckon, right now, I could get her back, but it would probably mean telling her exactly what I think, how I feel, and making concessions and promises which would give her total control of the relationship..not good. So my plan is to stay in touch and see how her new guy pans out. Might last 6 months, then again, this might be the relationship she's searching for..and again..I wouldnt want to mess that up for her..its not fair, I'm stil hurting but feel I shouild let her continue with her relationship and see how things go in the future

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I read your story and first I do have to say I respect you immensely about not wanting to mess up her new relationship.

 

Secondly, I am honestly not sure what to think of her behavior, indecisiveness is putting it mildly. I do feel that maybe staying friends is not the right course of action if her being in a new relationship has an effect on you.

 

Lastly, and I'm sorry to say this but to me it does seem like she is the one in control whether you approach or not, since you seem comfortable being put on hold and waiting for her every time. Maybe if you genuinely start moving on she will realize what she is missing out on and if not, well you will have moved on so it won't matter.

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