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Is it over or should I really try to move on? Will he regret leaving me?


Breaks and Breaking Up It happens to most everyone at some point in life! Share your experiences!

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Old 15th August 2013, 1:56 PM   #1
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Is it over or should I really try to move on? Will he regret leaving me?

Hi!
I'm new to this, found this website looking for post that would make me feel better to read. Now I think it would feel good to write a bit about my story.

So my ex left me 1 week and a day ago. We had been together for 1.5 years and he pretty much lived at my apt. We had really good times when we we're together. We had some small fights about useless things that ruined us. In the past because of those we has like small break ups for like not even a day. I think that he think's we can't be together because of those. A couple of days when things were not going well for him at home with is family he was talking of us moving together and did a couple of times before. We had a stupid fight that led him to leave me. Now I regret everything about it and that it shouldn't of let it get that way.

After he broke up with me it took everything I had not to contact him. I saw online that it's best not to contact your ex after he leave's you so you have a chance he will come back to you. On day 5, I could not resist to not send him a message and feeling like I was doing nothing to try to get him back.So I wrote to him saying thank you for what you did for me and i'm sorry it didn't work like you wanted it to and I would not contact him again.... He replied not long after saying he would answer me when he got off work because it was important it was well done. He did like he said. He wrote me that I was a good person and hope and one day I find the good man for me, that i'm beautiful and strong and things will get better. That's were I probably messed up, after crying to hard I tried to call him, he did not answer. I then messaged him asking if wanted to go walk with me. He replied ; I can't. When I didn't answer he said ; You know we can't with a sad smiley.

I was so sad after reading the message that he didn't seem to regret not being with me. But he did say he was having a hard time also. I felt like he's scared of being with me because we have lots of stupid fights. After all this time of no contact and being in pain I know I would do anything for it not to happen again. So the next morning I wrote him again even if I said in the last message I would not contact him again. That last message was for me like the last thing I could do to try to get him back. I told him that we are strong together and we could work on our small problem and fix things, that I was ready to work hard for us to be a good couple. I also said that every couple fight and love is not always happy moments and that to be happy you have to live hard times. I even believe that this could make us stronger than before after having all this time to think about the mistakes in the relationship.I really believe we could fix it. Like I was expecting he did not reply. At first I was giving myself hope telling myself he's taking some time to think about it. It's been 2 days now and I don't think he will ever reply.

I Think that right now he's making himself try to forget about me since he thinks it won't work out. I also believe that his sister and friends are telling him not to go back with me. I'm sure he still love's me but as days go by with no news about him I really think it's over now and there's nothing more I can do but try to move on but it's like I can't since i'm not sure if we still have hope .

I still have him on my Facebook and keep looking at when was the last time he was active on it. I can't stop doing that wondering what he's doing, if he misses me and if he's out with friends trying to forget about me. I want to remove him from it but thinking out doing that make's me so sad. I still have hope and I feel that if I remove him it would hurt the chances for us getting back together. But I also think it could be good for him to see I took him off from it so it could show him that i'm moving on. I don't know what I should do, I know it's not good for me to do that but I can't seem to stop thinking about it and doing it.

Now i'm sitting and wondering all day if he will regret leaving me this quick and not trying to fix things and talking. I wonder he misses me like I him him. It make's me so sad because it seems he don't miss me at all since he will not contact me. I still have hope but I also believe it's weird for a guy to take so long to see he did the wrong thing.

I really believed in us that's what make's it hard to move on since I tried all I could and he did not even do nothing. So I guess he really did move on? Or is there still hope that me not contacting him again make him realise that i'm done trying and he could of done a big mistake. How long could it take for him to contact me if i'm really important to him. I really have a difficult time thinking that a man can go like 2 months with NC before coming back saying he made a mistake. How can someone who is in love wait so long to show it.

I'm just so lost, hurt and confused. I wish I could understand

Thank you so much for reading, it helps a lot to write all this down. Really hoping to get some help and good advise. It always helps to get other point of views about things since we are all different.
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Old 15th August 2013, 2:20 PM   #2
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Hi,
I know what you are going through as I'm going through the same emotional torment and my relationship also fell apart a week ago.
My suggestion however tempting it may be to keep checking his Facebook account, is to remove him as a friend. It will do you no good to keep checking on his whereabouts/activities.
I took the advice of friends and people on here and went NC immediately. My ex sent me messages after she broke it off and I couldn't deal with it. I told her plain, ' I love you, I want to be with you but I can't carry on texts as friends whilst I feel like this. If at some point in the future we can be more than friends again contact me'.
Yes NC is hard, the temptation is there to always check on them, hence why you broke it after 5 days but you have to remember you are doing it for you. My guess is when he replied you opened up more painful wounds and infinitely felt worse than before. What good will it do you to find out where he is or what he's doing? You can't change that.
You need to look out for yourself now and if he doesn't come back tell yourself it's his loss and you will find someone better.
It's hard and it's a long road as I'm finding so far but we will come out stronger I promise you!
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Old 15th August 2013, 4:16 PM   #3
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What you are going through is echoed by ALL dumpees from this site. Know you are not alone. It hurts, you feel your heart is being torn into pieces and then trampled on for good measure. You have to save yourself. Only you can do that. The first step you need to do is NEVER contact him again. Otherwise, your wound will never get the chance to heal and each time you do it, you are just exposing yourself to fresh pain all over again.

Everyone's been / are going through this. It will get better. It may not be the case now but you have to take baby steps forward.
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Old 15th August 2013, 4:21 PM   #4
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If they say it's over, you accept as fact and do your best to move on without them. You can't force them to stay with you. It's sad but that how life is.
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A 3rd party/sex fixes everything.
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Old 16th August 2013, 12:57 AM   #5
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Hi Beautiful
I know exactly how you feel this happen to me a month ago on the 12th of this month , we had planned to be together forever mind you we both are separated from our spouses for a year. Long story short, he moved his whole life from the South to the north where i live, we were so happy, he got a phone call after being here for 3 days he had to go back down south for business, mind u we had looked at a home we were going to purchase as well as cars. Any he went back on the 5th night, he called me on the 12th, sadly i have not heard from him since then, he wont answers my calls or my texts, . So as i said i know how u feel, is he thinking of you, is he missing you, yes I believe that he is missing, n thinking of you, but like my situation there is something more to the story the reason y they want respond to us. I'm like you I'm staying hopeful believing that there will be a change of heart, it not easy letting go of someone u love especially when there is no explanation to go with it. No man or woman falls out of love that fast, i do believe they love us but don't know how to be upfront with there feeling..
Hang in there, if its true love they will return...
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