xilver Posted August 11, 2013 Share Posted August 11, 2013 My ex and I haven't seen each other in 2 months. We've had a couple of texts since. She sounded pretty sure she wanted to move on in those texts even though I told her how I was feeling. So I let it be. I guess in that way she dumped me. We don't live far from each other and there are only so many places to go out. She likes to go to Karaoke, jam night, live band type stuff which I also enjoy. I haven't gone out since our break up. I'm not a regular who is always out like she is. I have been running and more into healthy living. But I do want to go out again sometime. My friend asked me to go to the jam night last week (we are both musicians) where she is religiously. He told me not to worry about her and just go there with him anyway. Luckily he ended up not going so I didn't have to worry about it. This sucks though. What am I supposed to do when I run into her? Ignore her? Say hi and move on? Or just not go out again until it doesn't matter to me? Link to post Share on other sites
aspiringuitarheroine Posted August 11, 2013 Share Posted August 11, 2013 Whenever I have run into an ex, I have always greeted them warmly, hugged them, asked how they are, and wrapped the conversation up quickly (1-2min max). Even if they've dumped me. I act awesome, because I am awesome. Don't live your life in fear of running into your ex. Just do your thing and if you see her, be nice and move on. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
keepontruckin Posted August 11, 2013 Share Posted August 11, 2013 I ran into my stbxw recently, and even tried to initiate small talk. Trust me, if your ex is anything like my wife, you won't even recognize them as the person you thought you knew... Their souls get sucked out by some strange force, and only their physical being will you recognize. It may be a good experience for you, thus solidifying the fact that they aren't the person that you thought you knew. You may see the "real" her... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
JDPT Posted August 11, 2013 Share Posted August 11, 2013 As stated previously, don't revolve your life around when you will bump into her. Feel confident and free to go wherever you please. And if for some strange reason you do end up bumping into her, I would quiet honestly carry on, that's just something I would do. I work so hard towards moving on that I wouldn't even allow small talk with her to set me a few steps back. Link to post Share on other sites
Mcscooter Posted August 11, 2013 Share Posted August 11, 2013 When I see my ex I just want to kick her in the throat. but really I'd just pass by and say what's up and bye. Simple and easy. Link to post Share on other sites
dgiirl Posted August 11, 2013 Share Posted August 11, 2013 Don't live your life in fear! If I were you, I would first try doing brand new activities, making new fiends, going new places. Something you always wanted to do, bonus points if it is something she would never do or let you do. Get out of your comfort zone and do new things. It's kinda like a child going gleefully wild when the parent isn't around to supervise. It always brings me such great joy to know I'm building a better different life then the one we left behind. Once your self confidence is up and if you really do like the same scene, I would continue to go. But hopefully by doing the above, you'll start liking your new life that if you do see your ex, you'll be so thankful they left because you have a much better life without them! Link to post Share on other sites
Author xilver Posted August 11, 2013 Author Share Posted August 11, 2013 So don't live in fear. Do what I want to do. I guess I didn't think I was living in fear but it sure does look that way now. I guess I won't think about whether she is there or not when I make decisions in the future, but I admit I'm still a little nervous to run into her. Seeing her with a new guy won't make me feel good. I guess it is part of life? Link to post Share on other sites
Tayla Posted August 11, 2013 Share Posted August 11, 2013 So don't live in fear. Do what I want to do. I guess I didn't think I was living in fear but it sure does look that way now. I guess I won't think about whether she is there or not when I make decisions in the future, but I admit I'm still a little nervous to run into her. Seeing her with a new guy won't make me feel good. I guess it is part of life? The "part of life "is how you handle the initial post breakup run in. Take the higher road and you'll see it will make you shine. A simple acknowledgement of their presence and then wonder on...Mosey along and accept that you have changed and so has she. The secret is to accept that you have this fear and go thru it anyway. It will dissipate the fear and 99% of the time its never as bad as we anticipate it to be. Link to post Share on other sites
mtnbiker3000 Posted August 11, 2013 Share Posted August 11, 2013 I will offer another perspective, as I too live in a small town with my ex and really don't want to see her... Therefore, I avoid places I know she might be. I stay out of the area I know she lives in. I go to places I know she probably wont. Living in fear? Maybe. But I am also working very hard at getting over her and moving on. And it's been 5 months of NC with positive results so far. So, why risk a set back? Why risk the pain of seeing her with a new guy? Why? I can live 'in fear' for a little while longer until I am completely indifferent. It's actually not too difficult So, do whatever works for you. If you think seeing her would be negative, then try to avoid it. If it wouldn't be a big deal, then don't worry about it. You don't have to avoid her forever. But maybe just until you are a little closer to indifference... Link to post Share on other sites
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