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Long term long distance relationship ended with dumper rebounding


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HI,

 

 

My ex girlfriend and I begun a relationship almost three years ago now and it's was very intense (in a good way) when we started.

 

She really loved me and i her, although I moved to university really soon after actually getting together, yet it remained really strong, but I would always be unsure if it was for me so occasional break ups occurred during the relationship which really hurt her although we always got back together fairly quickly as for the most part it was happy and loving and I'm sure now she is the one for me.

 

 

During the past year it was still a happy relationship although also unhappy at times due to distance, small silly things etc. She has broken up with me for a month now, she considered it for a month or two before hand although it was harsh she seemingly thought we were just bent not broken and we could learn to love again and I still mean a lot to her and believe we could sort things out.

 

Now she has gotten into a relationship within the past week or so with a guy who she has been good friends with since I've known her because he has just moved to the town where she is.

 

It's a rebound relationship in my eyes, the guy is similar to me and it seems to be going well, as they are with each other regularly regardless of how long its been on although we both have certain pros and cons. he seems like a better cook and more sociable, yet i know her so well and the thing she likes, share the same profession, which i excel in and she likes me because of as she can show me her work. I believe in the long run i have a better chance although I'm still not closer distance wise until next year when I will be in the same town as her finally.

 

I've have begging her (i now know i shouldnt of) for the past two weeks just before i knew she started with the new guy, which now really annoyed her as it did get a bit much, its gone from her saying she sees us together in future to never again and leave her alone thanks to my begging, although I'm sure she is just saying that to get rid of me now, she just wants to see me suffer for once.

 

I sent her a last message to rectify the mistakes I made which I did a good job of regardless of the annoyances and it really put me in a better light, she said it was really nice although she is off on holiday in a week for two weeks and then not long after returning she will be going to denmark for 6 months to study so I don't know what that means for her new relationship as it will certainly make her think of ours due to the work she will be doing, she doesnt have that with the other guy.

 

What i am wondering is, do you think I still have a chance with her if I leave her alone for at least till shes in denmark and will this so far short but seemingly alright rebound relationship crumble under the weight of

six months apart?

 

I do honestly love her a lot, i'm just inexperienced in long term love so I made a few silly mistakes which hurt her and have come back on me. If we lived in the same town in a year and shes broken it off with the rebound guy then it could surely work!

 

what should i do though, i can't eat,sleep or work right and sometimes i just have to lie in bed and think of her. shes just told me i need to give her space, but do you think this new relationship will last if she is going away for six months and may miss me more?

 

all words welcome!

thanks

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Philosoraptor

It could be a rebound or she may spend the rest of her life with him and raise a family. No one can tell you what the future will hold. Either way, the only thing you can control is yourself. Focus on your own happiness. Join a club, find some new hobbies, spend time with friends, and continue self growth so you can heal from this loss.

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I won't tell you to focus on your own happiness; such a proposition is impossible to entertain if you're really heartbroken.

 

It may not be what you want to hear, but you have to endure the sleepless nights and the lack of an appetite for awhile. Time will begin to deaden your heart, and from there you can work toward repairing it to the best of your ability. I will not lie to you, regardless of whether or not you end up with this woman again, you will never be the same. You'll always feel and see things differently. That doesn't mean "worse" or "inferior", just... Different.

 

As for the girl specifically. I'm afraid we cannot tell you what will happen with her relationship. I wish we could. Is it a rebound? Probably. Can rebounds last? Rarely, but yes, they can. Does she think of you every day? Almost certainly, but only she knows in what light. Will you have a chance to reconcile with her? I'd say your chances are as good as the relationship you had. If things were, for the most part, great, then you have a well-above-average chance. I have with a couple of my ex's.

 

The point I'd like to make regarding that last point, however, is that while I did reconcile with my ex's in my past (including one long term, long distance one), they did end up going back to being just that after awhile: My ex's.

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