My boyfriend dumped me out of the blue

[Joanne]

Last night my boyfriend said he was going for a beer with two of his mates. I was pissed off because I haven't been well lately so on the bus home from work we didn't talk the whole way. We finished dinner in silence and I said 'are you going to continue ignoring me?' he said 'I'm not. There is nothing to say'. Obviously he was pissed off at my negative reaction of him going out. Half an hour later his mate picked him up and he turned to me and said I'm off babe, I said have a good night.

 

I looked at the clock at it read 3am - he still wasn't home even though he said he would be home at 12. It doesn't surprise me because he has done it before. I got up for the gym at 5am and he still wasn't home. I rang him on the bus going to the gym and he sounded as if he was in a nightclub.

 

Next thing I knew I finished at the gym and listened to a voice message from him saying he wanted to break up with me and to move my stuff out of his place.

 

We have been in love for 3 months clearly and truly with eachother - there is no doubt. This has come out of the blue and it's 8:23am and he hasn't come in to work (we work together). I'm assuming he got home and didn't set the alarm or slept through it. I have tried calling him but can't get hold of him.

 

I am a mess and don't know what to do. My sister said he was obviously angry about something and has taken it out on me. She also said she knows how much he loves me and this does not somethign that is said out of the blue.

 

I have been crying all morning and am typing this at my desk not sure of what to do. Please help me.

[Paradise]

You need to find out why he wants to break up, first.

I know 3 months of 'in love' is valuable to you that you just don't want to throw that away, but sometimes you need to let go.

Love is between 2 people and if one doesn't want it, then it doesn't make sense to even try.

I hate to be negative, but maybe he slept with someone. You need to talk.

[johan]

I hate to be negative, but maybe he slept with someone. You need to talk.

 

Don't speculate and make it worse on yourself. The last thing you need in addition to what you're already going through is to start making up explanations that might not be true.

[princess rose]

I'm sorry you're going through this, however, three months isn't a long time and this guy doesn't sound too mature, so maybe now is the best time to start the healing process and then move on.

[Paradise]

Originally posted by johan

Don't speculate and make it worse on yourself. The last thing you need in addition to what you're already going through is to start making up explanations that might not be true.

[Paradise]

Originally posted by johan

Don't speculate and make it worse on yourself. The last thing you need in addition to what you're already going through is to start making up explanations that might not be true.

That's why I suggested talking to him. Don't be shocked if he does tell you that b/c it is possible.

[HT_Nut]

It's also possible that he was abducted by aliens, got enlightened, and has decided to come back to earth and join a cult that's celebate. I think what was meant was this person is already facing a crisis; no need to plant more disaster in her head that can just as possibly be untrue.

[lilian]

Hi

 

Just an assumption and try to be honest with yourself: could it be that you were trying to control him too much? I mean getting upset about him going out with his mates? Has that sort of thing happened before?

 

could just be that he thought in his mind that he cannot take it to be controlled anymore and reacted really strongly by "cutting you off" all night and telling you to move out. Maybe, he overreacted and didn't mean it!

 

Do you think you gave him enough space in those 3 months? did you guys live together from the very beginning of your relationship?